guilty like maybe you?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by jillian44, Oct 2, 2006.

  1. jillian44

    jillian44 New Member

    Ok, I have chronic rib pain from my fibro ok? My father isn't doing well since he lost my mother in March of this year. My dad is 78. My sister who is not working and has a alcholic boyfriend and plays golf all the time and drinks all the time with her boyfriend can't find time in her busy schedule to help my dad with things! I do the best I can but I am so exhasted working a forty hour week and dealing with this dreaded disease. My father depends on me for everything and it is so hard. He makes me feel so guilty for not helping more. It is stressing me out. I lost my mother too. I can't do everything for everyone anymore. I have had it.
  2. misskoji

    misskoji Member

    First of all sending you lots and lots of hugs! I'm so sorry you've got so much on your plate, so to speak.

    I know personally how difficult it is to take care of a illing loved one. It's so hard for them to understand it takes alot out of you in all respects, physicaly, emotionaly, pshychologicly....

    I wish I had more ideas for you but have you tried to get hospice or home care for him, things like meals on wheels, that sort of thing? You need some relief hun. You derserve it! Please try to look into those options. Any help you get for your dear father would be a load from your shoulders, even if only a little. Sure sounds like the rest of your family is no help and draining you even more.

    Just know hun that you are doing the best you can, and bless your heart! It's a common thing for families to "forget" about their elderly members. You should be so so proud of yourself for being a loving compassionate daughter! Please don't ever forget that you are doing a wonderfull awesome thing!

    I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother, but I'm sure she was and is very proud of you. Please take it easy on yourself hun, ok?

    Hugs
    Deanna
  3. misskoji

    misskoji Member

    Just checked out your profile. Cute pups! What breed are they? We share the same birthday! Groundhogs day all the way! Feel better hun.

    Deanna
  4. minkanyrose

    minkanyrose New Member

    I used to have them big time. I have learned the hard way I am not super woman anymore. Do what you can and try to get help as mentioned above. Maybe your dad will have to call your sister and ask for more help from her,

    Take care of your self first because If you don't you won't be of any help to him. He may have to wait an hour so you can rest a bit after work or what ever,

    Not trying to sound cold towards your dad's needs but if you get sick who will take care of him?

    My prayers are with you for the energy and rest you need to hold down a job and a family, and to help your father you have nothing to feel guilty for you are doing a lot.

    God bless you for all you do. your are doing a great deal and you shouldn't feel guilty about it.
  5. PITATOO

    PITATOO Member

    Sorry to hear about the lost of your Mom. I lost mine just over a year ago. Since then I've had to move in with Father to take care of him. He has also been heading down hill since the loss of my Mom. That is all he ever knew was his life with her. I have a sister who lives only an hour away and has only been over to see Dad 2 times since my Mom's death. Both times it was trying to get money out of him. I only put up with her because of my Dad otherwise she would be totally written off. It is really tough I know, I am a divorced 43 yo male with MS, FMS and CFIS along with advanced Osteoporosis. I hold down a full time job plus my Dad. Which I would have it no other way. My "sister" is high all the time, does not work so her partner is now calling me for money. I told her that whatever money my Dad has is needed. If I can no longer hold down my job due to taking care of him and all my other issues it may be needed for around the clock nursing care. My Dad wants to put her back in the will. My Mom had her written out over 20 years ago and told me that she would haunt me if I changed it. And believe me if anyone could it would be my Mom. I've always respected her wishes even after death. Do you have a husband or someone to help you, even with the Fibro it is tough being alone much less a caregiver. I don't know what kind of relationship you have with her and if talking to her would do any good. In my case I have come to the conclusion "not" to expect anything. Anyways enough about me. You hang in there and feel free to post as needed and we'll be here for you - Bobby