Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by petsrme, Oct 2, 2005.

  1. petsrme

    petsrme Member

    Okay, I did something crazy Saturday night. It was my 20th high school reunion. I wanted to go so bad, but I have become reclusive and never go anywhere that I think involves seeing people I know. I am ashamed of how much I have changed and the weight gain doesn't help. I am also just plain outright a hermit. I had went back and forth for months on whether I would go or not. I finally called my two best friends who had been calling me for months and begging me to call them back. They really started calling a lot when they found out about the reunion. I am such a terrible person and a shut in that I would not call them back. I am afraid to use the phone. It takes me hours, days and sometimes months to psyche up to make a phone call. I don't know what is wrong with me. I avoided the social security office when they called, I avoid bill collectors, I avoid my insurance company calling about a claim I made. I know, I know, I am crazy.

    Anyway, I finally called my friends back the day before the reunion. One of them has been my friend for 36 of our 38 years. I cried when I talked to her and apologized over and over for avoiding her. She said she knew it was not that I didn't like her. She knows what I am going through. I told her I didn't know why anyone would still want to be my friend as terrible as I am. Once I get on the phone with her it is always wonderful. It is like we have never parted. It had been a year since I spoke with her. The only problem I had was that my elbow, arm and neck started hurted after a few minutes of being on the phone.

    She begged me to go to the reunion and I told her I would. She asked if I would dance and be able to do stuff and I said only if I have a few drinks in me. I went and bought a sexy top and black pants to wear. I have lost 12 pounds so I was a little less worried about how I looked. I am still alot different than I was ten years ago, but it was better than nothing. The top showed cleavage from below the middle of the breast and I just about wore it like that, but I am a chicken and worried about showing bra all night. I wish I had the cajones that stars have, but I don't. I put on a camisole and it was a little less revealing, still revealing, but less.

    I then went Saturday afternoon and had my first pedicure and loved it. They put me in a massage chair and soaked my feet in a massaging bath. The lady then gave me a leg and foot rub. I was in heaven. Actually, I'm getting a little ahead of myself. I really just wanted to have acrylic nails put on and have my toenails painted in a french tip. The owners are from another country so there was a little communication gap. I walked in and said I want french tips on my toes and acrylic nails. The guy walked back into a room and I just stood there. He then walked back out and said, "Are you coming?" I wondered where he was taking me. The last time I had this done a year ago, he did it out front. I went through a beaded curtain into a dark room. I was like oh lord, what have I gotten into. Visions of "happy endings" went through my head. He then pointed to a big massaging chair that had a small water bath attached to it. He told me to sit down. There was another woman in the chair next to mine who was sleeping and having her feet massaged.

    The guy left and a woman came in. She told me to put my feet in the water. I began to worry because I only had enough cash to pay for what I had planned on having. I hadn't wanted a full on pedicure. They only take cash and credit cards and I had hidden all our credit cards in the freezer. I also was worried about the fact that I had not shaved. I was going to shower later right before we left for the reunion and get ready then. My legs were as stubbly as a porcupine's body and I knew she would be rubbing them because the lady next to me was getting a leg rub and enjoying it very much. I also have a bad case of bumps and scabs on my legs right now. They are covered in small scabs and sores from my having to try to self tan myself the night before. I should have known better. Self tanners always make my lower legs itch like fire when I use them. I must have scratched them all night while I was sleeping because they were bleeding when I woke up Saturday. Don't even ask why I used self tanner when I was going to wear pants to the reunion. I admit I am not always the brightest bulb in the pack.

    The lady rolled up my pants legs before I slipped them in the water and she looked at my legs warily. She had gloves on, thank goodness, for her sake. It was all worth the embarrassment. She gave me the works: filing my rough feet to perfection. There was so much white stuff flying through the air it looked like it was snowing. She massaged them and my stubbly legs and it was so wonderful. I tried not to worry about how I was going to pay for all this. I live in a very small town and have no idea how much a pedicure costs. To make a long story short I got my nails done and thankfully had enough money to pay for it all. I am so glad I had this done. It was very unusual for me to do this. I am scared to even go to the doctor.

    Anyhoo, we got to the reunion at about 8:30 pm. I had a margarita at a restaurant before we went to calm my nerves. It was so wonderful to see all my old classmates. There were 50 out of 200 graduates there. The fun times didn't get started until about 11:00 pm. One hour before it was supposed to be over. By that time I had had the one margarita, two tom collins and three beers. My best friend who I was talking about earlier, kept sneaking me out to the parking lot of the country club to get beers out of a cooler so we wouldn't have to pay. I felt like a teenager. I even smoked a cigarette. I almost passed out from dizziness, but it was still good at the time. Today the thoughts of it make me sick. LOL! This same friend sells sex toys so she had me passing out her business cards to men all night. Can you tell she was the bad girl in high school. I was goody two shoes to her bad girl personality. We balanced each other back then: she taught me to have just a little fun and I helped her stay out of trouble.

    The DJ played 70's and 80's music all night. I finally went up and asked him to play some new stuff and he said
    I am sorry but I only have old stuff. I said, "Whatya think, that were all old or somethin?" He just laughed. He then started playing something besides Madonna and the Go Go's. I mean I loved Madonna and the Go Go's but there is a reason why the 80's people danced like dorks. The music was dorky. They played Brickhouse and we all hit the dance floor. We danced until 1:30 am. The DJ must have felt guilty for making us feel old and not having newer music so he kept the party going longer than he was supposed to. We looked like pure idiots up there. The class clown was going around with six packs on the dance floor passing out beer. The other class clown kept asking the DJ to play Hey Mickey over and over so that we could all scream out "Hey Nicky your so fine!!" They were passing around a microphone. To let you know how old and decrepit they must have thought we were...besides the old music, the dance floor that they set up was only about 10 by 10. We were packed on it. My friend was dirty dancing with all the men. She said it was because we were so crowded, yea right. I had to go and sit down a couple of times because I was sweating and feeling a little tired. Other than that I was pain free. I wasn't really what you'd call drunk. I was just feeling great. I had the best time I have had in years. It was a night I will remember always. It was so wonderful to feel 18 again and be with all those people.

    When I got into the car with my wallflower husband, he said, "You are going to pay tomorrow aren't you?" I said I am sure I will, but it was worth it. When we got home I looked at my feet and they were hugely swollen and red. (Because of circulation problems they swell, itch and turn bright red from knee down when I stand for about five minutes) I had blisters covering all toes across the tops of both feet. I woke up today feeling like I had been beat. I didn't have a hangover, thank goodness. I have had foot cramps all day and the blisters are burning. My feet and legs are still swollen and my back is killing me. Oh yes I forgot to mention, Saturday, when I was getting my nails done the tech was holding and turning my fingers and thumbs and it hurt so badly. She wasn't rough, it just hurt my arthritis and joints to be touched and handled. I didn't say anything because it wasn't her fault. Well, today my thumb joints are red and swollen.

    After all of this, some of you probably will wonder, "Was it worth it?" I would tell you that absolutely it was! I had a great time. I have done many things that made me suffer the next day and none of them made me feel this happy. They are usually things that I am doing for someone else. I did this for me and doggone it was awesome! I don't recommend to anyone else sneaking beers into a reunion, smoking a cig, drinking a few drinks, dancing like a nut, showing cleavage and most of all passing out sex toy business cards, but I do recommend doing something that makes YOU happy once in awhile. Dont' go overboard like I did though!

    Okay, I will shut it up now. I know this was so long. My fingers are killing me. I had to type it in word all day off and on to finish it. Please know that I am not making light of this issue. I know that a night like that would put some people into a tailspin for weeks or months and it would NOT be worth it. I hopefully will only pay a few days. I don't encourage anyone to do something that will put them into pain. I just wanted to share my silliness and what a good time I had. I don't know if most of you know my history, but I am not usually this giddy and happy. It was positive for me. If anyone had the patience to read this long post, I thank you. I hope I didn't bore you too much.

    [This Message was Edited on 10/02/2005]
    [This Message was Edited on 10/02/2005]
    [This Message was Edited on 10/02/2005]
  2. petsrme

    petsrme Member

    Thank you both for reading all that! I am sorry it was so long. You are such sweeties.

    You can bet the next time I have that done my legs will be as smooth as a baby's butt. Doxy I can just imagine that woman looking at your legs. I think the woman next to me was looking at my pitiful legs AFTER she woke up that is.
  3. silky17

    silky17 New Member

    Such a long post I would not have usually have read the whole thing right away , but you kept my interest. You go girl!

    I too went out and this past weekend and embarrassed myself to no end.

    My friends talked me into going out, I didn't really want to because I couldn't afford the money. But, I did anyway. They were graciuous enough to pay a little for me. The club was having some kind of celebration (not sure what it was). But the DJ said he would give out movie tickets to the first five with a german name. So off I go to give him my name. Ex-hubands, but worth a movie ticket.Hahahaha

    So kicks in my brain fog. Here I trot up to the booth with young kids everywhere :( . Not paying attention to details if you know what I mean. Next thing I know I am picking myself up off the floor! I was sooooooooooo embarrassed, all I wanted to do was go home. But,.....I wasn't driving. Before I noticed EVERYTHING around me. But now I am the one who is the show.

    Today I have paid for it. Pain , pain.

    Glad you had so much fun.:)
  4. jennypee

    jennypee New Member

    That was a great story! I hermit myself and avoid the phone too-- I don't have the patience to listen to stupid, pointless things that other people are thinking about when I'm in pain. (I don't think they're stupid and pointless when I'm not in pain-- most of my friendships involve me listening, because I LIKE to)I also get frustrated hearing about all the things I can't do anymore.

    My point is that I understand why it's so hard going out and doing something, and how great it feels when you do anyway! Good job!

    I had my very first pedicure right before I got married. I had no idea they would be massaging my legs, and was in the middle of a flare..... which of course means my legs hadn't been shaved for weeks. It was disgusting, and the girls were talking and giggling in Korean and I just knew they were laughing about my sick leg hair!

    I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only one. ;)
  5. petsrme

    petsrme Member

    Thanks Wamps and Silky!! Silky it sounds like you had a fun night too! Thank you for sharing that.

    Jenny, I know exactly what you mean! The two ladies who were in the room working on me and the other lady were Asian and they were talking and giggling too. I wondered if they were commenting on my hairy and scabby legs. I can't blame them if they were! LOL!

    By the way, your doggie is absolutely adorable!!
  6. LollieBoo

    LollieBoo New Member

    I am so used to avoiding committments and engagements- or cancelling at the last minute...

    It's so nice to hear that not only did you allow yourself to be pampered (to hell with insecurity! You know you weren't the first- I wasn't either!- and we won't be the last they see...) the important thing is that you felt good.
    It's wonderful to read your excitement at "letting your hair down"! We all need nights to remember- something to remind us that we are still "us" in spite of this DD!

    Party on!
  7. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    from a male:

    Hey, Petsrme (Can you get a keyboard w/ a backwards "R"?)

    Great story. You have a gift for writing. Felt like I was right there w/ you.

    Just to illustrate how different people are, I would never want any kind of "icure". Couldn't stand to have people poking and prodding at my nails.

    As for isolating, I have become a hermit in the 2 months since I retired. It's not agouraphobia, it's just that I have no energy. Most days I never leave the apt. except to go next door and feed the neighbors' cat.

    Agree w/ the folks who said a good time now and then is worth some discomfort the next day.
  8. JLH

    JLH New Member

    Oh, how I enjoyed your story. I went through the same thing last year!

    Last year was my 35th class reunion. I didn't want to go either! I'm also a hermit! One of my girlfriends talked me into it, too!

    BTW ... to avoid your neck and shoulders hurting when you're on the phone so much talking .... stop by a Radio Shack and get a telephone headset to plug into your cordless phone at home. They are GREAT!!!! I'm a big phone talker, since I never go out of the house to visit anyone, and I use it every day!!! For $29.95, it has saved me a lot of pain!!!

    Our DJ played to 60's tunes all night, but that was great, because I loved every one of them!!!

    I can't drink alcohol because of all the heart meds that I am on, and I'm also a diabetic, and had to drive myself home (45 min. drive) - so I didn't have as much fun as everyone else did, but I enjoyed being out and seeing all my old school pals.

    The best part of the evening for me was ... the most snobby girls of the class looked pretty rough!!! and some of the most popular guys who never would look at me in high school actually came over and sat down with me, gave me a hug, and sat and talked like we had been friends for life!!!

    Class reunions ARE worth it, aren't they!!!

    Glad you got out and enjoyed yours!!!


    P.S. Next time, I'm going and having a manicure and pedicure done, too!!!! I had never thought of that!
  9. zerped

    zerped New Member

    What a nice posting! You do write well. A friend of mine had a very good business going where he would give seminars on how humor and laughter are not some rare indulgence; he had tons of proof that the endorphins released/etc. made laughter absolutely mandatory. A friend battling cancer told me once that laughter is the only time that ALL of the cells of your body are engaged. If there's anyone who needs all the endorphins they can get, it's us.
  10. petsrme

    petsrme Member

    Hi everyone!
    I am so glad you laughed. I was afraid no one would read such a long post.

    Thanks for the suggestion about the headpiece. That is a great idea.

    I do wish I knew how to do a backwards r. LOL! Pets r me

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