listen because I don't feel the doctor is. On my first appt with him last month, he informed me he DOES NOT use pain meds for Fibro. I was pretty disappointed in that but for the time being, I am still under the care of a neurosurgeon for the diskectomy, bone graft, and instrumentation placement so I am still getting refills on my pain meds for that. The doctor informed both John and I the pain is phantom pain, not real pain at all. But yet, he squeezes my shoulders lightly and I yelled and tried to slunk down to the floor out from under his grasp to get away from him it hurt so bad. If it is phantom pain I would think a person would not have objective pain symptoms, they would only have subjective pain symptoms. When I saw him again today, my pain was no better, nights are absolutely miserable for me, I can't sleep, and I sweat like mad. Last month he had put me on Wellbutrin and it has not helped at all. He keeps insisting I am JUST DEPRESSED!!! Tell me something I don't already know doc but then you would be depressed too if you felt the way I do. He keeps saying you are not in pain, not real physical pain, you hurt because you are depressed. He is insisting that I go back into therapy and I told him I have no desire or intention of doing that, I spent 10 years off and on, mostly on in therapy and that part of my life is over. I made no secret of the fact I am an incest survivor and that I had 2 abusive marriages, I feel this has a lot to do with my condition. I told him that in the past month since I last saw him I had had a really bad round with thrush mouth, had pneumonia, and was in a car accident. He never commented either way on any of the three things, didn't even ask if I was injured in the car accident. Obviously I was not killed, I showed up for my appointment today with him. I was having a lot of pain in my left shoulder and my neck so I received a trigger point injection. It hasn't done squat so far and I got it about 5 hours ago. I took along the news letter I had received on Fibro and Chronic Fatigue, I had some questions for him concerning articles in the newsletter. The first thing I asked him about was evidence of pain being documented on an MRI and he said and I quote, whoever told you that either lied to you or you didn't understand them correctly, you didn't know what they were talking about. And by the way he knows I am a medical transcriptiont and I have more education that anyone in his office other than him. I then told him I had been doing a lot of research on Fibro and from everything I had read all the doctors used pain meds in combination with vitamins and supplements. Again he dismissed me as having been lied to or me not understanding the articles, possibly it was too far over my head to read it??!! He then looked at me and smiled and said if you want to bring that article in the next time you come, I will take a look at it. Good I said, as I reached it out of my purse, I just happen to have it with me. He had a kinda funny look on his face....... He looked at the article about the MRI and said well that is something new. And he again refused to give me any pain med. And as far as vitamins and supplements, he said I was throwing my money away, they did not help. I started crying at that point, geeze louise just the thing I didn't want to do. As I said to John on the way home, except for him (meaning John) until he came into my life 3 years ago, I have had people doing all kinds of things to me for years regardless of what I said I wanted or didn't want. First my dad and then 2 abusive marriages. I don't know what to do or what to think. These doctors are so hard to get into and I live 500 miles from NOWHERE so that makes it even more difficult. I AM NOT IN PAIN BECAUSE I AM DEPRESSED, I AM DEPRESSED BECAUSE I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!! And yes I am screaming, I want to scream at him!! I feel like he stamped a diagnosis on my forehead the first day in his office and has his mind made up and is not about to budge. I take a certain amount of comfort in the fact that I feel I am an intelligent informed woman and I want to have some control and some say so about my medical care. But how do you get that across to these people??? Right now I am exhausted and extremely frustrated from the day we had. I don't know where to go from here. I told John my next step is going to be to hit the streets in search of pot or something stronger.