Had doc appt today, need to vent, need advice, need someone to

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by KarenL47520, Apr 14, 2003.

  1. KarenL47520

    KarenL47520 New Member

    listen because I don't feel the doctor is. On my first appt with him last month, he informed me he DOES NOT use pain meds for Fibro. I was pretty disappointed in that but for the time being, I am still under the care of a neurosurgeon for the diskectomy, bone graft, and instrumentation placement so I am still getting refills on my pain meds for that. The doctor informed both John and I the pain is phantom pain, not real pain at all. But yet, he squeezes my shoulders lightly and I yelled and tried to slunk down to the floor out from under his grasp to get away from him it hurt so bad. If it is phantom pain I would think a person would not have objective pain symptoms, they would only have subjective pain symptoms. When I saw him again today, my pain was no better, nights are absolutely miserable for me, I can't sleep, and I sweat like mad. Last month he had put me on Wellbutrin and it has not helped at all. He keeps insisting I am JUST DEPRESSED!!! Tell me something I don't already know doc but then you would be depressed too if you felt the way I do. He keeps saying you are not in pain, not real physical pain, you hurt because you are depressed. He is insisting that I go back into therapy and I told him I have no desire or intention of doing that, I spent 10 years off and on, mostly on in therapy and that part of my life is over. I made no secret of the fact I am an incest survivor and that I had 2 abusive marriages, I feel this has a lot to do with my condition. I told him that in the past month since I last saw him I had had a really bad round with thrush mouth, had pneumonia, and was in a car accident. He never commented either way on any of the three things, didn't even ask if I was injured in the car accident. Obviously I was not killed, I showed up for my appointment today with him. I was having a lot of pain in my left shoulder and my neck so I received a trigger point injection. It hasn't done squat so far and I got it about 5 hours ago. I took along the news letter I had received on Fibro and Chronic Fatigue, I had some questions for him concerning articles in the newsletter. The first thing I asked him about was evidence of pain being documented on an MRI and he said and I quote, whoever told you that either lied to you or you didn't understand them correctly, you didn't know what they were talking about. And by the way he knows I am a medical transcriptiont and I have more education that anyone in his office other than him. I then told him I had been doing a lot of research on Fibro and from everything I had read all the doctors used pain meds in combination with vitamins and supplements. Again he dismissed me as having been lied to or me not understanding the articles, possibly it was too far over my head to read it??!! He then looked at me and smiled and said if you want to bring that article in the next time you come, I will take a look at it. Good I said, as I reached it out of my purse, I just happen to have it with me. He had a kinda funny look on his face....... He looked at the article about the MRI and said well that is something new. And he again refused to give me any pain med. And as far as vitamins and supplements, he said I was throwing my money away, they did not help. I started crying at that point, geeze louise just the thing I didn't want to do. As I said to John on the way home, except for him (meaning John) until he came into my life 3 years ago, I have had people doing all kinds of things to me for years regardless of what I said I wanted or didn't want. First my dad and then 2 abusive marriages. I don't know what to do or what to think. These doctors are so hard to get into and I live 500 miles from NOWHERE so that makes it even more difficult. I AM NOT IN PAIN BECAUSE I AM DEPRESSED, I AM DEPRESSED BECAUSE I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!! And yes I am screaming, I want to scream at him!! I feel like he stamped a diagnosis on my forehead the first day in his office and has his mind made up and is not about to budge. I take a certain amount of comfort in the fact that I feel I am an intelligent informed woman and I want to have some control and some say so about my medical care. But how do you get that across to these people??? Right now I am exhausted and extremely frustrated from the day we had. I don't know where to go from here. I told John my next step is going to be to hit the streets in search of pot or something stronger.
  2. turtis

    turtis New Member

    i am sorry that yo9u got an ass as a doctor...thank GOD that my doctor knows the difference...but i have had very loud arguments with jerks that say i am in pain becuse i am depressed.....i would get another doctorand i will tell youTHAT YOU ARE FEELING THE PAIN AND YOU ARE DEPRESSED BECUSE YOU ARE IN PAIN AND SO AM I. one of the first things that i ask a doctor is if he believes in using narcotics for pain and if he says no i HIT THE DOOR RUNNING


    i sincerly hope that you feel better,

    turtis
  3. shell

    shell New Member

    Please never return to this doc again. He obviously knows nothing about FM or CFIS... This kind of doctor can never help you as he does not understand your problem. Thinking it is all in your head is OLD SCHOOL. Definitely has not been around for the past 5 years + of scientific discoveries concerning FM. He can only make your symptoms worse as the frustration he is giving you will definitely take you a week or so just to get over!! I had a couple of doctors similar to this saying I needed to figure out how to control my anxiety. I was more frustrated by the visits then anything else and for weeks afterwards I would get terrible re-lapses. I am on a search for a doctor and am going to definitely find one but it is not easy. I am going to attempt to call first and ask plenty of questions about how the doctor treats their fm/cfs patients. Hope you start feeling better soon from the misery this doctor has put you through!!!
  4. PatPalmer

    PatPalmer New Member

    What an absolute ass of a man, might just as well talk to a brick wall...

    Life`s not been good to you has it, I am so sorry for you. You certainly come across as very intelligent, and I loved the bit where you pulled out the article, bet his face was a picture. Smug b*****d.

    You are right in saying that long term stress has caused your illness.
    It lowers the immune system and you catch everything going. Did you need antibiotics at some time?
    If so, these will have gotten rid of all the good bacteria leaving the gates wide open for the other bad stuff to get a foothold.

    Then it`s a slippery slope downhill...

    If you`re not taking any drugs at the moment, may I suggest you try going the natural route to help the body heal itself. Most drugs have side effects and only treat the symptoms - not the cause.

    Are you able to see a Herbalist? They work wonders...

    I can suggest several things you can try, but would rather like to see you in the hands of a professional if it`s possible.
    You more than likely have food allergies too and is definately worth having checked out. Heard good reports about kneisology...

    Let us know how you stand 'not literally' and am here to help if I can.

    Lifedancer is a mountain of info too.

    Love Pat.

  5. RedB

    RedB New Member

    You owe yourself a non-abusive doctor.

    Here's my story in a nutshell. I've had Fibro for 6 years. Up until recently I have taken no pain meds, mostly because nothing worked for me, or they made me sick. Nothing to do with the Doc -- he has been good enough to let me try anything that I had heard about. He would laugh out loud if he heard that a doctor called this "phantom pain".

    Recently I started taking Neurontin at a very low dosage, which relieves quite a bit of my pain. Of all of the six years, the time spent WITH some pain medicine has definitely beat the many years WITHOUT it. It definitely makes life a lot easier.

    My suggestion is to never go back, and keep trying until you find someone who is sympathetic to your problem -- even a good Internal Medicine doctor would do. Sometimes Rheumatologists are too big-headed. And, when he asks you about your private problems, don't tell him all of them the first couple times around -- let him get acquainted with you before he knows the whole story. My experience with this diagnosis is that the doctors dig into your psychological problems, and use them against you. I get so aggravated that they always assume that you are depressed. When it comes right down to it, I'll bet there aren't too many people in this world who aren't depressed to a certain degree. Everyone's life is hard in some way or another.

    Kathy
  6. srollins

    srollins New Member

    This makes me CRAZY! Talk about a rip off. This moron sounds totally disconnected!!!! I don't think I would spend a lot of time going to him.What is the point anyway
    he has done nothing for you so far and does not even sound like he is interested.
    Your post got my attention because you said he gave you Wellbutrin.I don't know if you were having a problem with sweating before or not but a year or so ago I was put on Wellbutrin. I sweated so bad it actually made me sick. I have never seen anyone sweat like that.I could not keep myself hydrated.They told me ahead of time that sweating was a side effect but they didn't warn me about how bad it would be.I took it about 6 weeks and gave up, then they tried Effexsor and it was just as bad. So I went back to Prozac.60mg a day, no problem.
    That sweating like that is enough to make a person depressed.
    I sure hope you can work something else out. I will be thinking of you.

    {{{}}} Shirley
  7. layinglow

    layinglow New Member

    I am so sorry you had to go through this! I know exactly how you feel right now, as I too, have been in the exact same place and have had the same things spoken to me.

    After tolerating this for way to long...I decided I didn't care how far I had to drive, I was finding a physician who specializes in Fibro and CFS. I was no longer wasting my time, money, adding to stress---to receive NO treatment whatsoever, and be bullied to boot.

    All the "ologists" I was seeing before--were charging me $125. to $175. a visit...which usually lasted about 5-10 minutes of the type you described. No treatment was forthcoming, and pain was not being managed.

    I have now been seeing a D.O. who specializes in Fibro, CFS, and MCS. I was bedridden during the first few appointments. Together we have got pain under control, alleviated sleep deprivation, IBS, sensory overload/anxiety, restlessleg syndrome, depression, and now are working and succeeding on fatigue. He treats aggressively, compassionately, and charges $60. for a half hour and $80. for 45 minutes. My first visit lasted 1 1/2 hrs. He keeps abreast of the latest research, understands that we are all individuals who need individual treatment regimes, and has a large enough client base, to have gained lots of knowledge. There is NO more waiting months for an appt. I can call and get one within a week, in an emergency right away. He uses integrated medicine, so I get prescription RX'es for those things that I need, and vitamins, supps, herbs, and alternative treatments. It is a days drive away----but well worth it!

    Please, you deserve treatment. You deserve validation, and to be treated by someone who will be your advocate, not your adversary. Please be willing to do the research and drive if necessary to see someone who truly cares about your health---they are out there, I promise!

    Initially it was difficult for me...I am uninsured, and the appointments, due to his wanting to get the pain and sleep issues under control, were frequent, requiring drive time, about a week apart at first. But now I am down to monthly--I feel SO much better-and he gives me samples out of his closet when he can, being very cost concious for me. You need someone to help you---not to stress you out, making you feel more ill, and then not affording you any treatments.....Please consider---finding a Good Doc!

    So Sorry you are going through this--LL
    [This Message was Edited on 04/14/2003]
  8. sarahfemme

    sarahfemme New Member

    Karen:
    After surviving an abusive parent and two abusive husbands, you certainly don't need an absive doctor, This man seems to know know nothing abot current theories concerning FMS and pain control or mental health, either. You are obviously an intelligent woman who does her research, so don't give in to his ignorant assumptions. I know that finding a good doc is not easy, espcially when you're inth middle of nowhere, but please don't give up! Use the resources of the WWW o find a doc nearer you-there are referral lists given at pain control sites. You DON'T have to live with this!
    Soft hugs.

    -Sarah
  9. kadywill

    kadywill New Member

    will never change. He is from the old school of medicine that just will not listen to anything that has been proven in the last thirty years. I cannot stand this and I am so sorry you had to endure this torture and pay for it, at that! I've had the same treatment, but I cursed the man and laughed in his face prior to walking out and refusing to pay. This is one area I can really be a b&$(@ about and I refuse to be intimidated by some flunkie who doesn't know s*&$% from shinola! Oh, this really makes me mad. We would NOT invent this crap nor would we choose to feel the way we do. There is documented proof that our syndromes exist and I just get so pissed at people who think they're so all-knowing and perfect! Bless your heart~~I'm sorry you had to go through this!
    Love and empathy!
    Kady
  10. nancyw

    nancyw New Member

    Hi Karen: What timing you have!!! I had a very similar "new" rheumy doc visit last week and am just recovering from the humilitation and emotional upheaval. I was diagnosed in Jan by an OB/GYN who has fibro herself and then again by another doc (pain clinic) who said he couldn't treat me until I lost weight. My PCP wasn't pleased with this dx and literally asked me "so, what do you want me to do?". Needless to say, I started looking for new doc. I live in small town and there is one rheumy here. I called and was told that she did have patients with fibro and so I made appt. Went last Tuesday, armed with my entire notebook of medications, speclst notes, MRI/CAT scan, etc. etc. Basically this "idiot" told me that not many people had fibro and all my symptoms were just symptoms of depression (on meds for 7 years now). She basically told me to find a church and "give" God my depression, told me I was putting up roadblocks again my recovery, and that I had a bad attitude. Also mentioned that I should get breast reduction surgery since it was undoubtedly the cause of my back problems! (If you want the gory details of my venting, look at my full post). She refused to talk about any other symptoms and did not do a tender point exam. The best part, though, was that I was charged $370 for this visit. Got lots of good advice here and actually called her office today and told them I was going to be reversing my payment on my charge card. Haven't hear back from them yet!!! Needless to say I am still looking for a good doc and will probably have to travel about 6 hours to find one. Good luck and it really does help to vent here. We believe you!!!!! Good luck.
  11. KarenL47520

    KarenL47520 New Member

    taking over my care of the Fibro. I have an excellent relationship with him, I talk he listens to me, he talks and I listen. He is not always rushing in and out of the exam room. The only problem with asking him to take over my care, he thinks very highly of the pain management doc AKA, pain in the A$$ that I saw today. But hey what can he tell me except no?? I feel that it would be a trial and error on both our parts but isn't that common in a lot of things?? I just don't know where to turn from here. Very discouraged about today's visit. I told him straight up I was NOT a druggie there looking for a fix but I was in a lot of pain and wanted and needed something for my pain. I would have settled for anogesic patches...... I know doctors have to be on guard and weed out the drug seekers but geeze, what happened to listening and having compassion??
  12. starstella

    starstella New Member

    i'm so sorry the pain management "expert" brought you to tears. since you can talk with your pcp, hopefully he will be willing to treat your pain since you had an unsuccessful experience with the pain doc. the medical profession is so scizophrenic (spelling) about pain management. Pain...the fifth vital sign....hah!..the problem is it is subjective and therefore not technically measurable. this leaves many of us in the lurch. hang in there, hopefully your trip to the streets won't be necessary.
  13. LadyDragon

    LadyDragon New Member

    would be to find a new doc. Since when is fibro "all in our heads". My heads been trying to get rid of this crap for 8 years....... hasn't succeed yet. Hubby said we should all start smoking marajuana (again). We wouldn't feel a thing. My ownly problem with that, I couldn't find it, and no one would sell it to me.... lol
    Hope you feel better soon.
  14. Annette2

    Annette2 New Member

    Karen, how far are you from Indianapolis? I have a great doctor here who would treat you properly. Also, what about going to Louisville? Don't they have good hospital and doctors there? I would never go back to that jerk! He patronized you and didn't treat you with any respect! I'm sorry you had to go through this.

    Annette2
  15. KarenL47520

    KarenL47520 New Member

    I live about 3-4 hours from Indy and 90 minutes from Louisville. I was looking at a list yesterday on this sitee at doctors and where they are located. Cinn. Ohio also has 3 on the list and they are 2 hours further from Louisville.
  16. leokat

    leokat New Member

    What an awful time you've had. What a total jerk your doctor was (I do hope it is was and you can get yourself a new one - preferably one with a bit of human compassion and definately one who knows how to doctor).

    I live in the UK and before I moved to where I now live I had a terrible Dr. I went to him to discuss my cfs. I said I just feel so fatigued all the time and he just said well we all feel tired. No way could I make him see that my fatigue was something else. Then I went to him when my FMS flared up and he said well pain is natural. Hell is it? well blow me down. Believe me I know about pain. I have given birth and I've watched my mother die in pain from cancer.

    When I moved hear I joined a new practice and the first Dr I saw said we know what you have is real and we are all going to work together to deal with it. It was such a relief I just sat there crying.

    Yes we do get depressed because we are in pain. For the majority of us it is simply not the other way around. Also there is no doubt in my mind that stress can percipitate FMS and CFS. It also aggrivates the conditions.

    Don't let them beat you. Hope you get the help and support you so desperately need real soon.
  17. andi

    andi New Member

    There are some things in your post that I can't relate to, that I've never experienced, but there are some that could be my story if you just inserted my name for yours. I'm sorry. A lot of days I can handle all that happens with me and some days it just stinks. Before I forget I wanted to tell you that my husband takes Wellbutrin and being hot and sweating is definitely something he deals with.

    I was blessed with a rheumatologist who diagnosed me on my first visit with fibro so in that respect I was very lucky. I am now going through the workup for MS and haven't had the same luck. I have been to two doctors that I have no faith in. They don't remember who I am or what they said the last time and neither have any concern for me. The second one hasn't even dictated from my three visits-7/02 8/02 and 10/02! It's on his desk though in his ASAP pile though so I'm sure it'll get done. Who knows what the reports will say since he can't even remember me from visit to visit let alone a year ago.

    I understand your frustration and empathize. I need to find another doctor but am gun shy. I've worked with doctors for about the past 15 years and have always respected and enjoyed them. They've been people to me and no one to be intimidated by. After these two doctors I am now afraid to go to the doctor. I will find a new one but I'm afraid to change too many times because I don't want people to think I'm searching for one that will say what I want. I don't want to spend the effort to tell my story from the beginning again-it just keeps getting longer and more complicated. I'm afraid I'll never find someone for this problem who will look at , listen to and treat ME. I wish you all of the luck in the world. As much as it pains me to say it find another doctor. I understand insurance and driving when you don't feel you can and all of the other "stuff" but the bottom line is you are worth it and so am I. I know I'll be led to the right doctor if I can just survive until then. Good luck, Miss Karen. I'll be waiting to hear about your new doctor and to tell you about mine.
    God Bless,
    andi
  18. KarenL47520

    KarenL47520 New Member

    myself on an exercise regimen. Prior to that he had asked me if I exercised and I told him no, it hurts too bad to try to exercise. He then informs me, I am 49 years old, I go to the gym every single day, it hurts but I still go. He then told me I should be on an exercise program and not sitting around getting overweight and out of shape........ I wanted to stretch the SOB out in the floor. The more I think about this, the more pissed I am getting. Trust me, I am a redhead and when I get mad someone better get the hell out of my way. I refuse to be treated in this manner. He has no respect for me as a patient or a person. I checked to see what he charged on my first visit to him and it was $560.00 and no telling what yesterday's visit was with that trigger point injection.

    I also put in a call to the therapist I used to see. She knows how I feel about going back into therapy and respects my decision. When I told her this guy was insisting on me returning to therapy she thought for a minute and then said basically if I were to go back into therapy what would I need him for if I could cure myself through therapy. Yeah, stop to think about it, no more huge doctor bills just to have him look over the top of his glasses at me and tell me it is all in my head.
  19. Bellesmom

    Bellesmom New Member

    I used to watch Dr. Welby, a real, real old TV series that featured the wise, inspiring doctor that had time for everyone and on and on.

    Well, in all my years of watching TV, listening to other people talk, reading articles on the "good" doctors I have NEVER, ever found a doctor who would really listen to me or help me in the way I thought/think a doctor should. Too bad we can't go out on strike against them but in my state (Washington) they are leaving more than staying so that might not be too good an idea.

    Anyway - that pompous jerk of a doctor will keep charging high prices and giving you all that unwanted and unneeded advice as long as you let him. I know it's a pain to try to find a new doctor (that's where I am right now) but maybe the next will one will NOT be a dud so let's give it a try, okay?

    Love
    Pam
  20. Dara

    Dara New Member

    get rid of that doctor fast. Just to set the record straight though, my PCP is definitely from the "old school" and he is very up to date on FM and treats my pain very appropriately. I am now on the duragesic patch plus Vicodin for break thru pain. He also prescribes anxiety and sleep meds as needed. I used to see a rheumatologist (supposedly an expert on FM), he also thought the answer to all my problems was to excercise and continue working full time. What an idiot, he had no clue whatsoever. You've had too much abuse in your life to deal with another abuser.

    Dara