Handling the good things in Life..........??

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Milo83, Aug 28, 2002.

  1. Milo83

    Milo83 New Member

    Just was wondering how everyone handled the good things in life..We (hubby & me) really don't have much of a social life anymore..Just drifted apart from some of our friends, and also the hours he works, and the way I feel..
    Upcoming weekend is very busy for us, & just thinking of it, scares me and how I will handle it..Just seems like when we have a chance to do something, it all comes at one time..Which means more pain, and more tension for me..
    EXAMPLE: On Friday nite, we are to go see a concert at a "country fair" about 1 hr from our house..
    Saturday is our 17th annniversay, and we usually go out to dinner and see a movie..Sunday, my brother has invitited us to a picnic at his house (only two doors away from mine)..
    I already have myself in a panic as to how I will be able to handle all this in three days time..
    I hate to say NO to any of it, because like I said we don't get out too often..
    Do any of you seem to have a problem handling things like this..Would appreciate any imput......
    Take Care All.........Donna
  2. Milo83

    Milo83 New Member

    Just was wondering how everyone handled the good things in life..We (hubby & me) really don't have much of a social life anymore..Just drifted apart from some of our friends, and also the hours he works, and the way I feel..
    Upcoming weekend is very busy for us, & just thinking of it, scares me and how I will handle it..Just seems like when we have a chance to do something, it all comes at one time..Which means more pain, and more tension for me..
    EXAMPLE: On Friday nite, we are to go see a concert at a "country fair" about 1 hr from our house..
    Saturday is our 17th annniversay, and we usually go out to dinner and see a movie..Sunday, my brother has invitited us to a picnic at his house (only two doors away from mine)..
    I already have myself in a panic as to how I will be able to handle all this in three days time..
    I hate to say NO to any of it, because like I said we don't get out too often..
    Do any of you seem to have a problem handling things like this..Would appreciate any imput......
    Take Care All.........Donna
  3. majic

    majic New Member

    you can do anything that you want to do. just take it slow. none of the things that you mention should be that hard. wear comfort clothes and good walking shoes for the fair. take a nap during the day and soak in a tub of warm water when you get home. take a pillow in the car with you for the drive. for the dinner and movie enjoy. all you have got to do is get dressed. take all day to do it in. when you get home with hubby get out some good lotion or massage oil and rub one another. a nice warm shower together would be great to. now for the brothers. do the same as the fair. take it slow and easy.be the guest not the guest that helps out they are always plenty of those at functions. hope this helps. this would be my plan. majic
  4. Cactuslil

    Cactuslil New Member

    There is no way I could pull your schedule off but as the other person responded, they could. We're all different.
    *
    Its 100 degrees where we are and most labor day concerts are out of doors; I would kill over plus I would have to take my Quickie Powerchair as I could never walk that distance.

    My suggestion is to be realistic, talk things over with your husband, and decide what is important and how much, considering flares and such, are you willing to pay for the opportunity to socialize.

    I know how you feel and I would just about give anything to make it to a bluegrass festival about an hour away; whether I will make it or not depends on how I wake up the morning of the concert.....also have opportunity to go to the Coast w/the church youth but have already decided that would take me over the edge.

    Just be honest about it all and if you can pull it off and you want to go to the various happenings, plan and proceed, enjoy then recoup. Love. Lil'
  5. deecrossett

    deecrossett New Member

    Hi Donna, first thing is to start resting now. I prepare for all of my activities this way. Rest for the next few days and then rest for a day or two afterwards. During your activities, take time to rest. And don't forget to pace yourself. You are ill and most people wouldn't mind if they have to slow down to your pace to prevent you from become overtired. I can be active like this once or twice a month, mostly Church activities, and I've learned to do these things to prevent a flare. And lastly, have fun, you deserve it. God bless, Deena
  6. MicheleF

    MicheleF New Member

    I agree with Dee, start resting now, and pace yourself. Majic's part of being the guest is very good too.

    If you worry about it ahead of time (& I do sympathize, worrywart should've been my middle name), you know that's just added pressure. Take one day at a time. And so you know I'm not patronizing you, lol, I've had to repeat that to myself since last Sat. as I've been invited to my brother's this weekend (it's a 2 1/2 hr drive and I've had a lot of leg pain when sitting)

    If Friday tires you out (& remember to take a comfy chair if no bleachers, and a blanket (for softness) if there are), could you and hubby have a "rain date" for the following Saturday? Maybe knowing you can make some adjustments if you have to will take some of the pressure off.

    Have a blast this weekend! And rest in between--shower w/ hubby is a must! Michele
  7. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    I have not tried to do a weekend like you are talking about in a longtime!

    What I would do, like someone else suggested, decide between you and your husband which events are the most important to attend if you don't think you can make all three.

    Whatever you decide, get each outfit out NOW, all your makeup and hair stuff in one place. That takes a lot of stress out of things to know exactly what you want to wear, and have it down to the pantyhose and shoes ready to jump into!

    Between each event, rest, rest, rest.

    Plan on staying at the fair a short time, and at the party a short time. Save your energy for you and your husband's celebration.

    Whatever you decide, don't stress over it from now till then! That just zaps your energy.

    Good luck, and I hope you make it all, let us know how it went!

    Shalom, Shirl
  8. Milo83

    Milo83 New Member

    Ok, today is Sun. morning..I made it to see the concert Friday nite, but it wasn't easy..We had to walk pretty far to get to the grandstand for the show, then of course, they had "bleacher type seating"..After the concert my husband had to go get the car, couldn't walk back to it..But I loved the concert..
    Sat..We never made it to dinner & movie, which was fine with me..We plan on doing it next weekend..
    Still planning to go to brother's picnic, but it's raining here, so I plan on staying inside most of the time..
    Just gets to you with this disease, but just have to learn to adjust, I guess.......
    Take Care..............Donna
  9. Shoobie

    Shoobie New Member

    Happy Anniversary!!

    I'm glad to hear you enjoyed your concert!

    Putting off the dinner and movie until next weekend is a good idea. You'll have more energy to enjoy it.

    I hope the picnic is fun today. If you get too tired, at least you're only 2 doors down! There's no "rule" that you have to stay for the entire thing! Most people are happy if you show up, even if only for an hour.

    I can completely empathize with a fun-filled weekend. Even though all of the activities are "fun", it can be just too much. I get crabby when I have a weekend like that coming up. Being in New England, people tend to cram everything into the Summer months while the weather is warm -- weddings, BBQs, etc.

    I just finished a year and a half of planning my wedding and boy was that exhausting! Now that the wedding is over, everybody and their mother is having some sort of event they want us to attend. We're trying to pace ourselves and only choose ONE event per weekend. I can't handle being on the go so much.

    You're not alone and don't feel guilty about it! Your family and friends should be understanding of your pain and energy level.

    Take Care and I hope you have fun at your picnic.

    -Shoobie