Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by LEFTYGG, May 4, 2010.


    LEFTYGG Member

    is anyone here truley happy and content inspite of thisDD? I have a lot to be thankful for but I so sad most of the time.last night I texted all my kids at 230am telling how sad i am. then today they were trying to call me and i wouldnt answer phone.

    I hide my sadness from my DH because it would bring him down.usually too proud to admit theres a problem. I just wonder if Ill ever feel true happiness and content. thx for listening love gail
  2. springwater

    springwater Active Member

    sorry to hear. hope youre getting support.

    the fall out from cfs/depression does colour our view of life negatively.

    LIke you there have been times my daughter has called from college,
    but i have wished she wouldnt have called at that particular time,
    because i felt my mind was empty, and i had nothng to say.

    Emails which used to be long lengthy ful of news, are sometimes
    not sent at all for weeks, feels like theres nothing to say.

    I snatch my moments of happiness, as and when they come,
    a book i relish, a tv programme, a flower i thought dead popping
    up in the garden.

    God luck

    God Bless
  3. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Hard for me to believe that anybody could be content while having one of
    these DDs. I am usually depressed or angry or both.

    Must say my depression has been lightened in the last couple years w/
    supplements recommended by Jaminhealth.

    I see in your profile you play poker. Here's a couple poker jokes I found on the net.

    "I played poker last night. We were using tarot cards. I got a full house and
    3 people died."

    Sounds like something Steven Wright might say.

    And then there was this story to illustrate the compulsive gambler who tried to stop, but
    just couldn't. In the middle of a game a leprechaun appeared to him and said,
    "Stop right now, and I'll give you a million dollars."

    Gambler says, "Ok. But just wait until I get even."


  4. Misfit101

    Misfit101 New Member

    I have periods of sadness. And the anger that Rock spoke of. I do allow myself a pity party but only a short one. I was raised with a "suck it up" mentality. But that doesnt work for me. There are simply times when I must let myself feel the emotion or else. I admire the glass half full people...but I dont like it when they say "well it could be worse". Like I should just accept whatever happens and not seek out improvement. I dont see these episodes of sadness as forgetting my blessings...just sometimes life has a way of washing up on you. . . . . . . . . . . .

    LEFTYGG Member

    thank you I know you too have depression so you understand I love reading you posts about your country customs and your 2 kids.I love to learn about other people and customs. In the end we are so much alike. love gail

    LEFTYGG Member

    love all your replies. the one about getting even is so true.I dont go to casinos now but when I did I wouldnt want to leave. I enjoy the statagy of poker. I dont play slot machine or anything.my father had poker games when I grew up and I blame him hahah. ty for your repy love gail

    LEFTYGG Member

    Ive always been glass half full person but Ive been beaten down lately and cant dig myself out.I know others are way worse off than me but that doesnt make me feel good either. wish i could make everyone happy. the news depresses me.when rich or famous spend 14 million on a home that puzzles me. child abuseb animal cruelty all seem overwhelming.thx for your reply, love gail
  8. victoria

    victoria New Member

    Being thankful and being content can be 2 different things I think?

    I don't think I could be "content" until I was back to normal... somehow that word implies giving up- to me. But, while I'm unhappy at times with "things" of all sorts, I figure as long as I'm working towards solutions and have possibilities, I'm ok.

    I guess I see a lot of shade of grey?

    One thing I'm doing is making sure I do something for me that I enjoy whenever possible - doesn't need to mean spending money either. It really helps.

    all the best, Victoria

    food for thought:
    I'm going to spend the rest of my life in the future, and possibly even longer. — Ashleigh Brilliant

    Maybe I'm lucky to be going so slowly, because I may be going in the wrong direction. — Ashleigh Brilliant

    (PS: Is Steven Wright even Steven Wrong? LOL it could an alter-ego)

    [This Message was Edited on 05/05/2010]

    LEFTYGG Member

    ty for your reply. yes i am excited my legs arent swollen. im still in pain but not what i was couple yrs ago.

    your daughter doing good is the best. thats one of my sadness a couple of mine not working worries me.then their relationships one let go of a great woman i know i get attached but i feel unless my children are happy i cant be. then i care for mom 91 she doesnt want me going anywhere.then theres my son getting married in cancun cant afford to go which ive never missed my childs events in life.

    sorry for complaining like ive said just sad not clinical depression ive seen that with my daughter when they were testing him for autism and things.she went down and couldnt get up emotionally. thx for listening love gail

    LEFTYGG Member

    thank you for your reply. i always wonder how you had the guts to move to mexico that is big to me.are you happy there? my DH wants to move to fla when he retires but i cant leave my grandkids yet they are my joy ill go for 3months but id be miserable no company in fla.

    i dont think i look to past dont dwell on it as matter of fact i want to do things in future of course theres things i wished id done differently but to late such as taking better care of myself exercising and not gaining weight.

    myDH is in great shape loves to golf i want to get well enough to do that with him.even tho i dont post to porch loungers and things i read everyday and feel like i know you all/thx so much love gail

    LEFTYGG Member

    your right the more you have the more problems but it is what it is ive read about you sis so sad . my sis has or had i hope breast cancer she had every side effect from treatment.

    wow since you mentioned vit D ive been out a few months need to get some finaces a mess due to my son thats a long story.so put off my supps but ill get them,thx love gail
  12. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    I can't imaagine how it must feel to be depressed every day. I do think I fight it every day thou as I have always been a glass full type ofperson too. My husaband is the other way aroung even though not really depressed he can be too realistic at times. You can only look at the bad side of thing for so long before you start going bonkers.

    I try ad do things i enjoy, like singing in church choir and another also which I think is my therapy. I never used to snap so at my Dh but since I have felt so bad for 25 yrs or more I can't help but do so sometimes esp when i think heis forgetting how I REALLY feel. just because I do not lie around in bed all day doesn't mean I don't feel like S--T or worse.

    I do think that vit D helps a lot too. I have been taking that mosty for my osteoporosis but know it is good for fighting depression too.

    Hope you feel more up than down soon Gai.

    Jam sorry to hear about your sister being so ill. Sounds like she is very brave in dealing with it.

    Hugs to everyone and try and HANG IN THERE !!
  13. spacee

    spacee Member

    My guess is that if you had your serotonin level checked..it would be below normal.

    Might be worth doing. At least you would know for sure.

    I had mine checked and it was below normal.

    We have something in common...DH's who play golf. Mine won't play with anyone
    who isn't competitive. So I'm not trying to get better to play golf. I feel so bad
    for you missing the wedding in Cancun. Sure wish you could be there.


  14. butterflydream

    butterflydream New Member

    Good for you to post Gail.
    Many of us can relate and we do listen well too.

    You're not alone
    Sending Hugs your way
  15. quanked

    quanked Member

    Yes, I have moments in time where, for that/those moment (s), I am truly happy, content, grateful and filled up with good feelings. A short time ago I recall sitting on stool in the late afternoon. It was clear and sunny day, I think I had been somewhat productive that day (by my new standards with these dd's). I looked up at my husband and said "It doesn't get any better than this" and he agreed.

    It was just an ordinary day, nothing special happened, no big material surprise. It just felt very good to be alive in that moment in time. But only for those moments.

    But this is not my state of mind most of the time. Having these dd's puts a whole new spin on my life. And it can be quite a downer some days, some weeks, and at different points in time, some months.

    But it isn't just these dd's anymore. We are living in very difficult times on earth for so many reasons. The worldwide economy, new and serious medical threats beyond these dd's, greed leading to incredible acts and levels of crime, extreme climate change just to name a few. Before my dd's I might have seen these issues as challenges, a time for positive change, some new obstacles to move around, etc.--but not now--I am too tired and often distracted by pain and discomfort.

    I am watching a show called "Sunset Daze". This elderly woman is talking about having survived a particularly difficult period in her life. She states that she came to believe there is not any difficulty that may come her way that she cannot deal with.

    This is what I believed about myself at one time. I thought I was dauntless--i love this word. Well, these dd's have daunted me.

    Without my moments of sheer delight, happiness, contentment I would not be able to go on. I fought too long and hard to find happiness in myself, to find a will to live, to see the positive even in horrific events. I am not giving it up willingly.

    If my dd's would depart from my body tomorrow I think I would eventually have more moments of happiness and contentment. However, I doubt I could ever fully live my life in this state when there is so much suffering and injustice in the world around me.

    For as long as I can remember I have endured a survivor's kind of guilt--no matter what I survived and got past. I would like to fell guilty about surviving these dd's and move beyond them.

    LEFTYGG Member

    I like your spirit but I doubt I could keep up. I d love to dance with my DH but im so clumsy now and think everyone is looking at me.horse back riding is another thing i want to do oh and snorkel but the wet suit would be an issue hahaha.

    i.m feeling a little better my son who got me in this trouble works hard trying to straighten it out. thx you for replying love gail

    LEFTYGG Member

    I like your spirit but I doubt I could keep up. I d love to dance with my DH but im so clumsy now and think everyone is looking at me.horse back riding is another thing i want to do oh and snorkel but the wet suit would be an issue hahaha.

    i.m feeling a little better my son who got me in this trouble works hard trying to straighten it out. thx you for replying love gail