Happy Holidays?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by goofgirl, Dec 16, 2008.

  1. goofgirl

    goofgirl New Member

    Well, I got to RSVP "no" to my cousin's big family Christmas party this year, because of my health issues. She lives about a five-hour drive from us and the party will consist of about 30 of my extended family. I really wanted to go, and felt like I should because I missed it last year, but my husband convinced me it would be a bad idea. And he's right, but like many of you, it's difficult for me to 1) admit that my illness, while "invisible" to some, negatively affects my life to that extent, 2) yet AGAIN decline an invitation because "I just don't know how I'll be feeling in a week" and 3) miss one of the few oportunities to go out and socialize. My aunt understood, but you know how it goes, don't know what my cousin will think and what everyone will be saying in my absence. Thanksgiving at our friends' house was so difficult for me because of the two-hour drive, and all the loud tv and talking that assaulted my ears (and that was only 5 people, this will be more than 30!) I wish I could just relax and enjoy myself, but it's not that easy.

    I just started crying while talking to my aunt, because she told me how she wants me to get better and how she worries the more I stay home, I'll end up getting depressed because of the isolation. It's true, but I'm doing all I can to move on and improve my health. I'm just so tired of not being normal, of hurting and getting sick, of talking and thinking about treatments and doctors and what I'm going to do when I'm expected to go back to work in two weeks... I was hoping the holidays wouldn't make me feel this way, the sadness, pressure, isolation, but it's just a fact that I can't ignore. I'm sorry for all of you going through the same or similar types of issues with the holidays upon us. I'm looking forward to the new year!

    Best regards,
  2. Bunchy

    Bunchy New Member

    And I'm sure many others here can relate.

    Don't keep punishing yourself - you can only do what you are able to do.

    I most relate to the being in a room with all the chat and TV - it's *SOOO HARD* and no-one except people living our illnesses can really understand this.

    I've learned to take myself away out of the room for regular breaks and my family now accepts this.

    My DH has become more supportive about the holidays recently and he now tries to find a way for people to come and visit us instead of the other way around. In return I let him go visit with his parents or grandmother occasionally when I feel up to taking care of myself for a day and/or night.

    These are difficult adjustments to make for all of us but you will be happier if you a. learn to say no and not feel guilty and b. put yourself first and explain briefly why you can't go. If they choose to not understand that's their problem. YOU come first!

    Love Bunchy x
  3. 3gs

    3gs New Member

    Hi jessica understand how you feel. Last year I missed our family xmas party for first time in 40 yrs. It was at my nieces house about 45 mins away. This time its at my sis house 15 mins away but still between weather and having after xmas its iffy.

    I have been in a horrible flair and scared this will be the xmas I miss sleeping over with my grandkids.

    People don't understand its not just the travel its that horrible sensory overload.

    Wishing you the best