The NEW 12 Days of Christmas (A "partridge in a pear tree" rehash in light of our politically correct times) sing along now.... you know the tune! On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically-imposed-midwinter-festival, my Significant Other in my consenting adult & monogamous relationship gave to me... TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming, ELEVEN pipers piping (+ the 8-member orchestra in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union per their union contract even tho they won't be asked to play a note), TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping, NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression, EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans, SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands, SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products, FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration, AHEM, a short interruption here, please note: after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. SO, to avoid further Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been revised to the following: FOUR hours of recorded whale songs THREE deconstructionist poets TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses and... ONE Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree. . . AnD A hAppy NeW yEar to y'all .....!