Has this happend to you?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Mar 29, 2007.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I am a bit irratated at the doctors I have seen now and in the past.
    To start this out I was going to see a new doctor a rhumey for a change and was very nervous about this visit. When I got there , filled out enough forms to decrease the forests . I finally got in the exam room. The medical assistant took my B/P and temp {it is LOW 96.5} But by the time the doctor walked in to the room I was a nervous wreck. I was so worried about that hew would tell met that I was taking too much pain meds and would not want to refill the meds I have been on for 3 years. Being so nervous I was in tears as he asked me questions about when my pain started , why had I seen a Pain Doctor?, did I know just how addictive my Mscontin was? On and on he kept asking those kind of questions.
    I answered them all but still was in tears ,they stopped for a while but came back during the exam part of this visit.
    It was the most painfull exam I have ever had barring shattering my wrist. No matter where he touched me my body would jump , startle and hurt. Ok by the time he was done I was out right crying as I hurt so much.

    AFter that exam he talked to me for a while asking why I was not on a antidepressant. I told him that I did not feel like I needed one and most of the ones I have tried , I have had strange reactions to them.

    I tried to explain that my body is fussy about what I take. I get the strange reactios/side effects . It there is some reaction that no one has ever had I will be the one to show it . This has happened to my all of my life. It bites.

    So he wanted to put me on Cymbalta and I said I was not to thrilled about it as I really hate the reactions I tend to have with a new medication. But I took 5 days worth out of 7 after being given the sample of Cymbalta.
    I got so sick and dizzy, lightheaded, upset stomache, could not think straight, really intense fatique so bad that I could not drive as I could not keep my eye's open.
    Needless to say I stopped taking them. I left a message but it got mixed up. He assumed because it didn't work for me that I was asking for a higher dose of my pain meds. Which was not right at all.

    So this morning the doctor calls me and tells me that he wants to put me on something for deperssion or something for my fibro,like a antisezure med. I said that I would prefer to just stay with the meds I am on as at this time they are working fine.

    After a bit of a disscussion he agreed although not very happy about it.

    So why is it that when I see a new doctor and I am really nervous or I see a doctor and am in a great deal of pain and I am in tears, why do they think I am depressed?

    I went in to a GP because I had a very bad headache and they gave me a lecture on taking to many narcoitcs. I had asked for some T3's Not that strong. But because I was crying my DX it was automaticly DEPRESSION!!!!!
    It had nothing to do with the fact that my head hurt so badly that I had thrown up. But I was crying so I must be depressed.

    I felt the same way with this new doctor. Because I am nervous and cryed then of couse it has to be Depression. How I acted could not have been a case of nerves? No it had to be Depression.

    So many times I have been in intense pain and crying , the doctor thought that the only reason I was in tears { could not be from the PAIN!?} That this was a sure case of depression.

    Has any one else had this happen to them? I am so sick adn tired of it. I want some one that understands that because I have lived with chronic pain for so long that when I am crying it is not becaused I am depressed it is from the PAIN. And in some cases extreme nerves.

    I so wish that this doctor would understand that because I had just switched from my long time pain doctor {who is having legal problems} that I was scared of the reception I would recieve. I didn't know if he would be willing to prescribe my MScontin, MSIR and the rest of the meds I am taking. I have been to other doctors who have had a coniption fit about prescribing any thing narcoitc for me.

    I was so scared of rejection again that I was nevous not Depressed.
    I hope that I am not alone with this situation , I don't understand why a doctor who I have never med and just spent 15 minutes examining me, made me hurt every where he touched me, and when it was over I was in tears could this reaction be because I am IN PAIN? or is it a sign of depression?

    I don't know any more. I feel that it is not right to tell some one who is hurting that the reason they are in tears in not from the pain they are in but from Depression.

    OK I will quit gripping now and try to not be so irratated about it,thaks for listening to me whine and moan about this.
  2. jmq

    jmq New Member

    I know exactly how you feel. When ever I get nervous and overwhelmed I start to cry. It is not from depression..I have been clinically depressed and know the difference. It started happening not only at my doctor appointments but at work! It was horrible...I would not only start to cry over things that I use to be able to handle..but I could not suck it up and stop crying! That is one of the main reasons I am on leave...the stress ...not the depression...was killing me. I feel like a new person now that I only have my home life stress without the work. I am trying to heal so I can go to battle for disability.

    Know you are not alone or crazy. Pain can do unbelievable things to us...its like we are an exposed nerve ending.

    Hugs and feel better...
  3. JLH

    JLH New Member

    I am so sorry that you had such a terrible doctor visit. But, you have to understand that this is a total stranger that is trying to figure out what your problems are from various angles--how you appear, what you are telling him, your medical records (such as your list of medications), his observations, etc.

    When you are crying so during your visit, I think it is only normal that he assume that you have some degree of depression. Especially since you are complaining of a lot of pain. It is known that people with chronic pain are also normally depressed--because of always being in pain!

    Also, as a new patient to him, I can understand that if you are not doing well on the Cymbalta (I hope you only started out on the 30 mg capsules), that he might want you to try a different one, or perhaps one of the anti-seizure meds like Neurotin or Lyrica, since both of those are widely prescribed for fibro.

    I've asked my daughter, a physician, these questions and this is just a "normal" route a doc follows with a new patient before they may refill all of your narcotic pain meds. As you have stated, you are on a lot of different pain meds, and powerful ones, like morphine (your MSCotin).

    It's just a sign of the times, no matter how unfortunate it is to those of us who really need the pain meds, that a new doc will think you are a drug seeker when you come in with a list of powerful narcotics that you want new prescriptions for. Most patients with a long list of narcotic meds who quit their former doc and change docs there is a reason. Your reason was legitimate and if your doc knew your old doc, then he should have been aware of his situation.

    The only thing that I know to suggest is that on your next visit, tell the doc that the only reason that you were in tears on your previous visit was due to the fact that you were in so much pain from his exam, not from depression.

    Also note that all docs will want to prescribe antidepressants to fibro patients because it has been proven that they do actually help those people in chronic pain. It's a shame that you are unable to take them. I know that Cymbalta has really helped me, and Neurotin has, too.

    Hope you recover from your visit soon and get to feeling better, dear!

  4. boho

    boho New Member

    HI ROSEMARIE,this has happened to me so many times,i too am tired of it!If you cry they want to push the meds,i have a chemical sensitivity and meds do not agree with me,i have tried to tell new drs this but they dont listen,that to makes me cry.I cry because i feel so bad and hate this new way of living,not because of depression. HUGS TO YOU,GINGER
  5. obrnlc

    obrnlc New Member

    hi rosemarie!
    I totally understand this, i always cry when i discuss this entire situation, whether it is a doc, a lawyer, a friend, or anyone!
    It is the frustration of it all, and then when you cry, it makes it even worse, because you ACT depressed, and you can't get across to whoever you are crying to that before your life was ripped to shreds you were not like this, and you are here for help--not to cope with the sadness of it all, but to FIX it and put it back together!!!
    (there-I'm crying now!!)
    I also cry when i get really angry, so that only makes it worse!
    I've started to begin my conversations with "please forgive me if i cry but this situation is so frustrating to me....", then at least they are warned about it.
    I saw a new Neuro. and she made a comment about how sweaty i was and it wasn't hot in there, and i told her "I'm just so nervous to have one more person tell me that I'm crazy".
    I never did get a response on that one.

    Just know that you are not alone, i think this happens to most of us--we have been devestated financially, emotionally, accused of everything from being crazy to seeking drugs, etc.
    We'd have to be crazy NOT to cry!!
    Hang in there--L
  6. Suzan

    Suzan New Member

    Automatically ( they have all been male doctors btw,)they assume I am in need of an anti depressant..or counselling. I work hard nowadays to NOT cry when I am in the office. Regardless of the pain when I am touched..or the questions I am asked.
    I think some of that crying reaction is being on narcotics..and some is due to having FM..and part is due too the stress I am feeling when I have to deal with yet another doctor and try to explain what I am dealing with!

    Try to be as honest as you can with your doc..and hopefully he will figure out that the tearful reaction isn't due to you being clinically depressed. Be honest with how you react to different medications. If you have trouble discussing those things without being emotional. Write it down ahead of time and let him read it!
  7. netnut

    netnut New Member

    I can understand where you are coming from.

    I wasnt on the strong meds that you are on but I had to switch from my doctor due to insurance reasons and ended up at a income based free clinic. Obviously they suspected everyone of being a drug seeker and wouldnt even listen to me or request my records from my old doctor no matter how much I pleaded with them.

    If they had they would have seen how I had been on duragesic patches and oxycontin at one time and REQUESTED on my own to stop them and go down to vicoprofen as needed because I had started feeling better. That is not that actions of a drug seeker.

    One thing I would wonder about in your case is if you had ever tried Lamictal? While it isnt a pain medication it does work on chemicals in the brain that have been proven to be at play in fibro. I know you say you are not depressed but who wouldnt be after dealing with chronic pain. It can set up a vicious cycle. I cant get pain meds at this time and my Lamictal and Topamax are the only things that keep me halfway going right now. I also take over the counter meds but we all know those dont really help much. I had to go off Lamictal and Topamax for a few months not long ago and I really knew it because the fibro pain came back with a vengeance.

    Just throwing that out there for you to consider.
  8. wildflowers2

    wildflowers2 New Member

    I like you can not take meds as they make me worse....
    At my shrink appt yesterday I told him I lost my SSD
    hearing and he asked me about my meds.
    as at one point I was taking 12mg of zoloft......
    and stopped as it gave me more direaha(spelling)

    Yesterday he says...welll since you are not taking an anti depressant I can not say today that you are depressed....but, I bet you are depressed that you did not win your ssdi hearing!!!!

    go figure

  9. pika

    pika New Member


    i can't add anything more than these excellent replies have already said! it IS frustrating. i think one thing is that we tend to be intimidated by the doctors. there is no rule that states we can't (politely) talk back to a doctor, or say we disagree with something they've said. but it does take time to build a good relationship with some doctors.

    try to keep in mind that a good doctor isn't going to only be compassionate in wanting to ease our pain, but will want to find and try to fix the underlying cause of it. with these autoimmune disorders, we have lots of kinds of pain and underlying issues.

    try not to stress over this, and don't feel badly about crying. many of us have been there at least once, probably more!

  10. revlcb

    revlcb New Member

    Rosemarie, I can totally empathize with you.

    I often say that my bladder is behind my eyes, I cry so often. Some of us are just more sensitive than others. We cry at the drop of a hat. And of course there's nothing wrong with you if you cry when in pain! I cry when frustrated and upset...like what you experienced with the new Dr. I too have had major issues with many of the meds that are supposed to "cure" us and like you, can pretty much predict how my body is going to respond.

    You're not alone, honey. We just have to inform our doctors. And keep on informing them if they're listening but not hearing us. And those who are just to quick to judge and are stubborn in their opinion, dismiss them.

  11. Chinlover

    Chinlover New Member

    Rosemarie, My dr. was so unpleasant. She had her mind made up about my situation before I ever even entered her office. I cried and asked my husband to accompany me my next visit. I asked him to tell me if she indeed was mean or if I was just being too sensitive. As we walked out of that visit, my husband said, " Honey, why do you even waste your time with her? She only wants to talk, not listen and has her mind made up before you even tell her the problem!" I never returned and later found a great PCP, but I had to keep looking and that is STRESSFUL I do agree. Keep looking and you will find the right one. Chinlover
  12. dreamer28455

    dreamer28455 New Member

    the same thing!! I have an appointment on wednesday with a new doc...i am on no meds...ambien at night, but desperatly need to be. i am in agony and the last doc put me on cymbalta, lyrica, neuronton...and gave me lidocane injections! nothing worked...I feel just as nervous as you did...almost sick nervous...but i need to keep looking for the right doc...maybe this will be my lucky day! <3
  13. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    I was born crying and I swear I've never stopped!!! My father used to get so mean to me to try and make me stop being a "crybaby". I'll cry over anything it seems.

    I do have a problem w severe depression that comes and goes, but I still understand what you mean. It is so nervewracking going to a new Dr, and then they poke and prod the most tender points all over your body.

    I tend to yelp in pain and then apologize to the Dr. Crying almost always occurs at some point during the appt.

    I am extremely sensitive to med side effects as you are. Try a tiny dose for starters. I found a psychiatrist that finally knows how to work w me and my med sensitivities. Sometimes I start w a quarter dose of what anyone else can normally handle. And then, if need be, I SLOWLY increase my dosage. You might want to mention trying that sometime.

    The pain does cause chemical changes in our brains, and some AD's help w more than just depression. I know I've developed a healthy bout of Anxiety over the last few years too, I"m just so worn out and on edge.

    Anyway, sorry to ramble....I just really wanted to let you know you're just like so many others here. I hope things work out for you and you stumble upon a good dr.

    xxxooo Hermit
  14. nightngale

    nightngale New Member

    I am always a nervous wreck at a new doc, or even when going to a regualr doc I haven't seen in awhile, or trying to get different meds. Today I went to my Primary doc to tell her I was filling for SSDI and had a letter and pages of symtoms etc. She said she didn't need them and all she had to do was mail my records when requested. I asked about the functional capacity form I had heard about and she said no we just send out your records. So I am really confused. Then I started crying because I felt really tired and bad today and had been so nervous, trying to explain how awful it was to have gotten to the point of knowing I would not get better. or so it seems..I am having more problems. She seemed sympathetic, she is a very nice doc and that was it.

    I hope she knows what shes talking about. I too am very med sensative and am going thru all drugs known to mankind for depression, at least my pysch doc is kind as well and keeps my anxiety at bay.

    From another crybaby.
    [This Message was Edited on 03/30/2007]
  15. Fmandy

    Fmandy New Member

    I have read this whole thread and for what it's worth and in order to help you, I suggest that you really pay attention to the post made by JIH. I agree with her 100%.

    You have so many serious physical and one mental (panic attacks) problems listed in your bio. I do not understand how someone with all these conditions could not suffer from depression.

    Physical pain is known to cause serious depression.

    I think that you may have been told that you were suffering from depression during times that you were in so much physical pain, that you have become insulted by the mention of depression.

    Depression is a very real sickness that affects people without physical pain in their life. It can be caused by chemical imbalances that are becoming more understood by the scientist.

    Could it be that you suffered a panic attack when you visited this rheumy? I also use to have panic attacks, but they only happen now rarely, but almost every time I go to a big place like Wall mart. I can really sympathize and empathize with you there. That is almost a total loss of control (panic attacks). I use to take paxil that was very good in helping to stop the panic attacks, or make them less severe. I take Lexapro nowadays and it really is a lifesaver for me.

    I have taken the ssri type of anti-depressant medicines for 11 years now. I do wish so much that I could do without them. They have side affects that I do not like. I have tried to quit many times but I become almost insane without them. I guess that is just withdrawal symptoms, but it is extremely scary.

    So, I admire you for not being addicted to anti-depressants, but please realize that depression is real and is nothing to be ashamed of.

    It is very distressing for me to get through any doctor's appointment. I always try to be 50% in control of the exchange with the doctor. I am like Goldyfm in that I have to psyche myself up before the exam.

    I would never cry at an appointment. I am a man so I am different in this matter. I would be ashamed to cry in front of another man. Plus it shows a weakness, a loss of emotional control. It adds to the stereotype of the "hysterical woman" whose hormones are out of control.

    I am totally honest with a doctor. I have nothing to hide. I know that the federal and state government expects a doctor to treat anyone, on the first visit, and needing pain medication like a drug seeker until proven otherwise.

    I think anyone would have an easier time getting pain medication by being as calm and rational as they can with the doctor. I am very serious with them and I look them straight in the eyes. I let them know that I am not s***ing them, and that there is no need for me to suffer with pain in these days and times. I am also 54 and I guess that helps, don't really know.

    I only take tramadol and Topamax for pain. I also take neurontin. Hydrocodone and the like are ineffective for my pain and I also build an extremely fast tolerance to them. I can see where I could be taking 10/day trying to control my pain. I will never do this because many of these medicines contain acetaminophen which can destroy your liver.

    Good luck with your new doctor and rest assured that there is always a good doctor out there for you.



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