Has Xmas been tough for anyone else?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by witsend, Dec 24, 2002.

  1. witsend

    witsend New Member

    I am exhausted and in a downward spiral. With little or no help I have managed to shop for about 20 gifts, wrap them, put up a tree, shop for and cook a turkey dinner, and keep smiling with tears of pain, exhaustion, and being totally over whelmed beneath the surface. My family does not treat me as a sick person. When I mentioned to my husband doing something different like a meal out he said I would ruin Christmas. It is after 4 am and I am finally finished enough to fall asleep for a few hours and start in again with these holiday festivities tomorrow. I am in worse shape than my dear late mom was in her 70's and 80's and I did all this for her back then. Why do people expect to us produce like healthy folks. If I mention I dont feel good my husband says " I know dont keep saying it." My kids say " you never feel good."
    I am so tired of feeling like death warmed over and not one person treats me as if I'm ill... even some of the doctors I've seen.
    Christmas is about giving but around here this sick disabled woman still does 90% of the giving.
    Sorry I am venting... I could sleep for a week.
    Well I'm turning in and hope I dream I am on a warm sunny beach somewhere feeling as good as I did before this dd.
  2. Imnoangle

    Imnoangle New Member

    Merry Christmas.
    I'm sorry your family don't understand,Just one more day to go. Then you can rest. Tell hubby and kids they should help.
  3. Shelle16

    Shelle16 New Member


    Yes Christmas has been extremely rough on me.All I would like to do today is sleep but you know that is un heard of not on Christmas!My mom cooked Christmas dinnner(her choice)I washed breakfast dishes for her than I fell asleep I then had to listen to her fuss because I didn't help with lunch.She even went as far as to make a blessing up about not having any help!I did help with the dishes and vacumed the carpet but now I'm exausted and would like to take a nap. I have to go to work tomorrow so I guess I will be exhauted. I'm so mentally wore out that I threw 5 or 6 presents away before wrapping them and had to dig through the trash for them.And yes I can relate to the kids always saying"Mom You never feel good"Which I don't!

    HAppy Holidays
  4. ZosoLight

    ZosoLight New Member

    I have had a shitty christmas day, too. Mood swings / aches Soooo Tired. Threw good things in the trash, too-- just to be able to forget about them. Just can't deal with anything.

    I just left a christmas brunch because i couldn't even engage my brain for the conversation.

  5. LisaMay

    LisaMay New Member

    This is the worst that I've felt in weeks! Even though I don't think I'm stressed, at some level I must be. Lucky for me I do my holiday shopping throughout the year. It doesn't hurt the pocket too much and I don't have to rush out only to find that what I want is out of stock. My family is all out of state. My hubby and I stay at home and take things real slow. Who cares if dinner isn't until 4PM because I forgot to turn the oven on! Who cares if the biscuits are burned because I forgot to turn the oven off!

    Encourage your family to help out on a regular basis and maybe then they'll recognize all that you have really done for them feeling like crap all the while.

    It's almost over, just breathe... Lisa
  6. ladybird1

    ladybird1 New Member

    As usual I put up a "front" for my elderly disabled mother's sake (whom I take care of in addition to working full-time). My siblings never voluntteer to help with
    dinner or anything else. I am beat down. I dread the holidays. If I outlive my mother (may not at this rate),
    my siblings will not see me on holidays. Cutting them off
    cold turkey.
  7. LindaLoonyTunes

    LindaLoonyTunes New Member

    Monday and Tuesday were awful I hurt everytime i moved! Both days required a nap that took forever to wake up from. I am usually not THAT tired. Couldn't figure what was up. I get the same thing from my family - Yeah, right mom! Or "you probably don't remember". It is very hard to convince them that I "specifically" remember telling them to do or not to do something! Going to the family doc to discuss whether or not I have CFS on top of my FM. My memory is shot - and it is affecting my work and people are noticing it now. Take care and do what I do "Ignore the naysayers!" Cause they don't have a clue!
  8. tandy

    tandy New Member

    My christmas went great!!!Loved it!!!But...........oh how I ache!! I had to keep all the kids gifts hidden in the attic untill last night.At which point I carried them all down 2 flights of stairs(about 50 something gifts!)I got to bed at 2am and the boys were ready to rock at 7Am!!So i've been up all day,ya know opening up this,getting batteries for that,putting stuff together!(I had a ball with the kids!!)All I can say is I'm ready for bed!! Hey,I got a new electric blanket!!Can't wait to use it tonight~ I sure hope I can peel my a** outta bed in the morning!lol Merry christmas to everyone!!
    Warm regards,
  9. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    All I can say, is here is hopeing and a prayer that you all have a healthy happy New Year!

    Shalom, Shirl
  10. ohmyaching

    ohmyaching New Member

    On top of Christmas it's my parents 50th wedding anniversary and the relatives are all descending on us. So far I've been sort of pacing myself. If I don't get everything done I don't get everything done. The weather isn't cooperating either. Got two to three feet of snow and the area is declared to be in a state of emergency. Highways closed. Fun fun fun... Been taking a break and reading the posts. Guess I 'll go get the shovel now and see if I can find the car. I'm just taking it one thing at a time and everybody seems to be pitching in so that things are getting done.
    [This Message was Edited on 12/25/2002]
  11. Sunshyne1027

    Sunshyne1027 New Member

    I didnt really have much to wrap so I didnt throw anything away..:) Had to file bankruptsy because of my illness, and husband health too, and got a discharge not long ago, money is tight. My sons loved what I did get them, and was very thankful. They have come to understand. I find it disrespectful if they were to say you never feel good.

    This year is different, and I wish it were for others too. My husband and I being home all the Christmas Holidays was great! More time to spend together, he has become more understanding of my illness seeing it first hand. (He is home on Workers Comp) He also will most likely not be returning to work, his work injury caused his Multiple Schlerosis to become fully active again. He has spinal deteioration.

    I didnt let the holidays stress me out, I took it easy and a moment at a time.

    Have to definitly work though on getting some sleep, me and hubby has been staying up all hours, lacking sleep here.

    I went to my sisters for a big Christmas dinner earlier. I got to admit I was at my ropes end, with not feeling well, crowded, tired, and the noise, been having pain in my hips and neck and back. But it was so well worth it, spending time with family. We did a potluck sort of thing, which really was a blessing, I made baked beans, and stuff.

    My house is a disaster, but going to assign my sons chores, to help me out tomorrow, letting it all lay for the night. I look at the mess and smile, its a sign to me of how great of a Christmas it was. A big difference from a year ago, it wouldve drove me nuts to let it lay like this...LOL.

    Merry Christmas Everyone!! I hope you all get to feeling better, just take time to baby yourself, you deserve it!

  12. ssMarilyn

    ssMarilyn New Member

    I smartened up and started my Christmas shopping last January. By December, I only had 2 gifts left to get and hubby helped with those. I did my Christmas baking over a 3 day period, so as not to tire myself out. Cookies and such freeze up really nice, so you can do that sort of thing ahead of time. I also had help from the family. I "assigned" them tasks and they did them, no questions asked. Christmas used to be tough on me, REAL tough, then I decided that it was stupid of me to allow it to continue on this way when it could be done in a more efficient manner. You just need to plan things out ahead of time and delegate tasks out to EVERYONE that lives in your house and gets FREE room and board - NO EXCEPTIONS! You also need to have your invited guests each bring a dish. Most families do this, so it's very acceptable and this sure cuts down on work and expense in your own kitchen. My mother-in-law loves to bake pies and also make up a nice relish plate. A really untalented guest can bring buns, etc...... everyone can help in their own little way.

    You're the Queen, so sit on your throne and tell your subjects what you expect them to do for YOU!

    Marilyn :)
  13. Reg1

    Reg1 New Member

    We never know how we're gonna feel from 1 day to the next. Christmas eve, I was feeling moderately good for a change. Christmas morning around 4am woke up screaming with leg pain. Could not even stand for the sheets to touch me. My thigh had red scratches as if my husband and I had a love fight under the sheets. To my knowledge we "KISSED" and said goodnight. Since we had to make rounds with parents, I dreaded it, too much pain, no energy, I tell hubby let's just drop off, no eating and get me back to my bed. Well, when we got to my MOM's, my hubby got real comfy with video games and dinner, all i could do was let him enjoy the day, since he rarely gets out these days besides work. So sometimes i guess those are the sacrifices for me, although it is very hard to handle. People just really don't understand, although they say they do, unless you experience this nightmare, we are our lonely victims. Happy New Year, ( I am definately beddridden today). ((((HUGS)))) Reg1
  14. little

    little Member

    My family left yesterday for five days at the beach. That is my favorite place to be. I decited to stay home with the animals this time. I don't like boarding them. I wanted to spent some quiet time alone. The dish washer broke about a month ago, so I have been doing the dishes. Well I can barely move. My lower back started to hurt on tuesday. Now it is so painful all across my lower back. When I do dishes I can't stand up straight, I have to lean on the sink with one arm. I must have aggraveted something. I'm not sure if it is the tender point or the sciatic nerve. I have to move very slowly. I wanted to do some after christmas shopping but that is out. I have been using the heating pad. I checked on here to see what others would do for this. I guess that all I can do is keep using the heating pad and just ride it out. I limited my self to the shopping this year and didn't make a big dinner. Since coming to this site I have learned to take better care of my self. Especially pacing myself with things. Any other year I would be in so much pain I wouldn't be able to move much. Hvae a great holiday. Gail
    [This Message was Edited on 12/26/2002]
  15. griswoldgirl

    griswoldgirl New Member

    My Christmas was relaxing, just the kids and husband. we do not have a family to speak of so I do not have the pressure of having to perform for others as a lot of you ladies do.

    Christmas eve however was very stressful. My husband has been gone for over 6 months and just got home because of health reasons and loosing his job.

    From me giving up with my kids disrespectful attitude over the last few months and just taking it--it has gone to him not putting up with any of their stuff, and they are fighting it tooth and nail, so it has caused a lot of tension in the house especially with my teenager. I am glad to have him here though because I did not realize just how badly the kids had been treating me until he got here--no help around the house and same thing--the "you always dont feel good" and you are always sick mom stuff!

    I hope that you are able to get some rest today and recooperate from the days you had. take care!
  16. glendamarie22

    glendamarie22 New Member

    Although my family does understand and are very helpful and supportive, I was so sick on Christmas day that I couldn't even eat dinner with my family. I really hate when I do things like that....it makes me feel as though I have ruined the holiday for everyone. We also have an annual tradition two days before Christmas to stay at a casino to see the Cmas show. I didn't go this year, because I knew I'd never be able to walk all around the huge casino. I let the rest of my family go and since the rooms were already booked, they couldn't back out. (Thanks Goodness - I would have felt even worse then.) I get so tired of having to cancel things.. it seems like it's all I ever do anymore.
    Anyway, I'm sorry to go on about myself when I'm supposed to be replying to YOUR post. Just wanted you to know that I do understand and I feel for you. Maybe you should get some reading material for your family to study? I know that's when my dad really started to "get it." It's made a world of difference for me.
    Keep your chin up, we're here for you.
    [This Message was Edited on 12/26/2002]
  17. maleficent4310

    maleficent4310 New Member

    After a long day at work on Christmas Eve, I came home so tired I thought I was going to fall over, but you know we cant do that. Too much to do. Need to cook, clean, bake, and help santa wrap the presents. All while my husband slept on the couch.Then get up early to see that santa did not forget the good little boy in my house. I was so tired I felt like I was going to be sick on everything. We wont even get into the pain. I did get lucky though. I decided sience my husband slept so nice the night before, he could do all the toy assembly (usually my job), and I went back to bed. Then after a few hours of rest, I went downstairs to a mess of toys (greatfully assembled), a roast to be cooked, and a mess of stuff to do to prepare for my husbands co-workers arrival later that evening. His guest were coming around 7, and a few min after 6 he asks if he can help with anything. Now here it is the day after, my house in an all new mess, I need to go to work soon, and i know my house will look worse tonight when I get home than it does now. I guess that seems to be the way things go though. I hope the rest of the season is easier on everyone. God Bless!
  18. ssMarilyn

    ssMarilyn New Member

    For the life of me, I can't understand why so many here take it upon themselves to think they're the only ones that can do all the work? Where does it say that the family can't help out? And don't expect your man or kids to know to ask hours ahead of time if you need help, because they just don't have a clue. No fault of theirs, they just aren't that savvy. There's no reason in this world for any of us to do all the work when there's so many other healthy, able-bodied humans under the same roof. Take control of the situation....grab your whip, put your riding spurs on and start telling THEM what you expect them to do and WHEN you expect it done. Take no back-talk and no excuses. Simply state that if they don't all chip in to help, there won't BE a family Christmas. It's not that hard to do, and believe me, you'll feel SO much better when you aren't running yourself ragged trying to get things done!

    Marilyn :)
  19. Right now I have a major headache and neckache! Between all the shopping, wrapping, running and cooking it is overwhelming. Why do women do this to ourselves. Unfortunately us fibro people look normal so others don't really know all the pain and the fatigue we have to deal with . They act like they understand , but they don't. Personally I am glad its over for another year, it is exhausting on a healthy person, let alone someone with fibro!
  20. northwoodssue

    northwoodssue New Member

    Dear Wits End:
    I'm probably way off base here, BUT WHY are you doing all the cooking, shopping, etc til 4am to give your family a Christmas????? Come on, don't allow yourself to be walked all over. Just don't do it or as someone else has said, delegate it to the others. I just can't buy into the "I did everything myself, and I hurt thing". It's time to give your family a reality check about your abilities and your disease. And it's time not to let them dictate to you when you hurt.
    I can sympathize with all the pain, stiffness due to the extra we all try to do at the holidays to try to be "normal", but you gotta get help with this stuff - not buy into a guilt trip put on you for being responsible for a "normal" Christmas.
    Hope you get help next year, or NOW. I gave my husband, family Mark Pelligrino's book, The Fibromyalgia Supporter, and boy did it open their eyes as to what we go through just to get up in the AM. Maybe that would help.
    good luck