I am exhausted and in a downward spiral. With little or no help I have managed to shop for about 20 gifts, wrap them, put up a tree, shop for and cook a turkey dinner, and keep smiling with tears of pain, exhaustion, and being totally over whelmed beneath the surface. My family does not treat me as a sick person. When I mentioned to my husband doing something different like a meal out he said I would ruin Christmas. It is after 4 am and I am finally finished enough to fall asleep for a few hours and start in again with these holiday festivities tomorrow. I am in worse shape than my dear late mom was in her 70's and 80's and I did all this for her back then. Why do people expect to us produce like healthy folks. If I mention I dont feel good my husband says " I know dont keep saying it." My kids say " you never feel good." I am so tired of feeling like death warmed over and not one person treats me as if I'm ill... even some of the doctors I've seen. Christmas is about giving but around here this sick disabled woman still does 90% of the giving. Sorry I am venting... I could sleep for a week. Well I'm turning in and hope I dream I am on a warm sunny beach somewhere feeling as good as I did before this dd.