Have any of you lost children to death?

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by MsE, Jun 2, 2008.

  1. MsE

    MsE New Member

    It will be six months since my daughter Jeanne died from pancreatic cancer. In spite of my prayers, sometimes I cry several times a day. Other days I'm managing. I am emotionally fragile. How long does it take to reach some kind of stability?

    I have talked to the doc about antidepressants, and I have tried several in the past, but due to CFS, they seem to backfire on me. Serious side effects, so I don't really think that is a good option.

    Or is it just a matter of sucking it up and/or offering it up and waiting for relief? Those of you who have been in my shoes, how long does it take before some kind of normal life returns? So I don't embarrass myself by breaking into tears at inoportune moments?
  2. MsE

    MsE New Member

    I, too, have read that tears are supposed to be therapeutic, but when I cry so often in one day, I start to wonder. However, it is getting close to the six month anniversary of her death, so that may be why I'm feeling extra blue. Thank you for writing.
  3. MsE

    MsE New Member

    I am not aware of any grief support groups locally, nor does anyone advertise as a "grief counselor." However, I have a friend who was a counselor before she retired and she may be able to suggest someone. It is something I have thought about but have been putting off. Every time I've come close to researching the subject, I've begun feeling better and decided to give it more time, to tough it out. Then, wham. I find myself back in blues city. I need to think about it again, I guess.
  4. Jana1

    Jana1 New Member

    A suggestion for a grief counselor or a group that might help are often sponsered by funeral homes or a hospice. They gave me several tapes, booklets, etc after I lost my parents 5 weeks apart, both unexpectedly.

    My heart and prayers are with you, MsE.

  5. MsE

    MsE New Member

    Good morning. I did phone hospice a few months ago and left a message asking about grief counseling. No one replied, so I called again and left another message. No one replied. I did check the phone number to make sure I hadn't called the wrong number. I have not, however, tried a funeral home. It had not occurred to me. Thanks for th idea.
  6. MsE

    MsE New Member

    The 6th was the 6th month anniversary of Jeanne's death. Instead of it being a terrible day as I expected, I sent cards to my other kids, a couple of them sent notes and phone messages to me, and by the end of the day I took a long walk along the river and realized I felt serene. God's gift or Jeanne's gift on this anniversary day.

    BUT, and more importantly, on the 6th I learned that the baby my granddaughter is carrying is a little boy! New Life! He'll arrive in October.
    So, since the sixth, I have felt much happier.

    Another reason may be because suddenly other family members started showing up for visits. And today a brother I haven't seen in a few years and his wife will be here, a niece may come tomorrow, and on Friday my second daughter's husband is coming to get me and the three of us are going to the Oregon Coast for a week. All of these things are keeping my mind off sadness and on the joyful things of life.

    Thank you all for your kind wishes. Yes, Jana, it probably is going to be an up and down thing. The little roller coaster car I am on is currently moving back up to the top of the rid. God bless us all!