have any of you stay at home moms ever been able to get SSI

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by seaview, Dec 29, 2002.

  1. seaview

    seaview New Member

    Last year when I called SS office the man said because I had not worked enough in the past 10 years I could not apply.I had a women and son living with me recently and she got on SSDI in 3 months on mental problems. Her son was already on SSDI for asthma. She said she hasnt worked or gotten all those credits. She said I should try and several others have also. I would love to be able to go to work (outside the home)and if I wasn't so incapacitated by this disease I would. My husband works 2 jobs. I just crawled out of bed after a bad 3 day flare. I am still so weak. I could never be depended on to work. I feel so bad for my husband and I feel his frustration of my not working and contributing financially. The sad part is that I really would love to be working outside of this house. If any of you have had success please let me know. I can not deal with any more unneeded stress . Thank you,Kathleen
  2. Cindi

    Cindi New Member

    I've been a stay-at-home mom since my youngest son was born. He has MANY medical problems and is learning disabled. I've never worked harder in my whole life, even when I did work and took care of my other two children before he was born! My husband always worked two jobs until he became self-employed 7 years ago. Now it seems like he works three jobs:( I can't get SSI for my son, because we make too much money, and I can't get SSI for myself because I haven't worked recently. Believe me, we do not make a lot of money in our business yet, and my son has extra medical expenses that are not covered by our insurance...which, by the way, we pay an EXORBITANT amount each month for!!! My brother-in-law's wife died of a brain tumor 9 years ago, and during the time she was sick,her daughter (my niece) received SSI checks each month. She STILL gets SSI, and will get it until she is 18! My brother-in-law and his fiancee make a lot of money between them, just built a brand new house, and have banked all of my niece's money away for her for a rainy day. I'm not trying to sound bitter...as I love my niece, and she did lose her mom, but...what about those of us who are disabled, and those of us who are caregivers for someone who is disabled, and we can't get ANY help??!! Something doesn't seem right, here! Sorry for the tangent...it's just SO frustrating!
    I sure do understand your frustration, Kathleen...and if anyone has any advice, I'd really like to hear it, too!
    Hang in there, okay??

    Hugs~
    Cindi
  3. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    I`m a stay at home mom also. I would love to be out working also but don`t feel well enough to do it yet. I
    also have a 40 mile drive round trip to the nearest town.


    I`ve worked in the past and I really miss getting out. It seems you get left out of so many things when your not out
    and about.

    I haven`t applied yet for SS but I probably will sometime.
    Just the thought of all that red tape and hassle of it
    makes me not want to do it though.

    Just do what you can and remember your a wife and mom and
    that`s one of the most important jobs!
  4. beh43

    beh43 New Member

    Hi Kathleen,

    My understanding of these two types of disability is SSI is based on need and you didn't have to work prior to getting benefits. SSDI is based on the money you made in the years prior to getting benefits. If you are married and your hubby makes too much money you will be turned down for SSI. However, if you worked prior to your diagnosis and your hubby works you will still qualify for SSDI. I know several people who were ill from birth and due to their not ever working they receive benefits from SSI. It seems you may have a problem getting benefits if your hubby is currently making too much money for you to qualify for SSI. Since you didn't work you are not backed up by SSDI. There may be some way around this but I don't know of one.
    I would check with an attorney who specializes in disability law. Legal aide can help you if you can't afford an attorney.

    Good Luck,
    beh

  5. CAgirl

    CAgirl New Member

    I have been a stay at home mom for thirteen years. I went back to school and got my degree in psychology and I would love to be working in my field. I can't work because my days are spent trying to control the pain. I get severe neck pain and headaches. I have tried to work as a substitute teacher, but it is difficult because I never know how I am going to feel. I have thought about seeking SSI benefits as I don't think I have worked enough to get SSD. My husband is frustrated that I can't contribute financially and so am I. I have a feeling that he makes too much money for me to get SSI. I guess I should look into it. If you find out anything please post it.
    Thank You
    Laura
  6. Cindi

    Cindi New Member

    For clarifying the difference between SSI and SSDI! I wish there was an easier way for all who CAN'T work to get the help they need. I know that it's hard for my husband to work the amount of hours he does. He's been working mega hours ever since we were married 23 years ago. When my other 2 children were little, I worked part time, but since my youngest was born 14 years ago with special needs, I've been home with him. My husband can work anywhere from 55-70 hours a week just to survive...NOT to have luxuries!!! He also has a chronic illness, and puts his needs last, so he can put his families needs first! I really worry about the toll this will eventually have on his health :(

    Cindi
  7. KayLyn

    KayLyn New Member

    Hi Kathleen,

    I worked for several years starting while I was in college. During this time I was seeing doctors frequently for my symptoms..of which now I know was Fibro and MS. I was told by doctors that I was crazy...so when the pain became so bad that I had to leave work...it was still three years before I finally got the correct diagnoses...I applied for SSD but then found out that the three years that I worked in my family business did not count because only my husband was listed, even though we filed a joint return...I did have enough credits to go ahead and file...but was turned down because they said that the disability was not bad enough during the specific time frame...I should have pressed on further, but I did not and that I regret..

    I understand the frustration you are feeling...I watch my husband work so hard...just for us to get by...while I also see the degrees hanging on my wall...that right now I can not use...I know that being a homemaker is one of the most important jobs there are...much more important than the psychology degrees hanging there...and the work...well...we all know how difficult but rewarding it can be...I am sad for a country, the best country though, that thinks so little of women with such important jobs...it is a catch 22...It seems that in order to get the help that we need we are penealized for trying to work....just to be above the poverty level...it sounds that I am angry, and in some ways I am...I did work...and as long as I could...but it does not matter or count for anything...and that makes me sad... I have actually been searching for answers to this question and so far the answers are bleak...but if I come accross something I will sure post it...

    Hugs to you...KayLyn