Thank you if you choose to read this... It's for my own benefit more than anyone elses. It's time to start being honest with myself... I haven't been on the site for several months as I have been trying to convince myself I am coping.... The truth is I am not coping with anything. I have been trying to work in a full time, very demanding job, in which I care for the lives of other people and fear that I am not doing a very good job. My boss is being very supportive but has noticed I am not as well as I should be. After several months wait I met with the Occupational Health GP last week. He asked me how I was coping with the pain and I explained how it is. He asked me what I needed from him and I honestly said I didn't know. He explained that he had read my file and recognised that we last saw each other about three years ago. He summed up by saying that he thought he ought to sign me off work immediately. That I am unfit to work. My brain went into overdrive, panic and fear. What does this mean? How can it be? I feel fine, I am not ill, ill is when you are in bed, unable to function, unable to do anything, needing others to care for you. I am not like that am I?? Of course I'm not, but as I have said on the site before I am my own worst enemy. I have tried so hard to fight the pain, ignore the feeling of being out of control.Ignoring the fact that I can't make decision's any more. The pain is so bad that on most days I don't want to get out of bed.I don't want to engage with anyone, I can't abide the noise and bustle of others around me. I smile but I am crying. I can't cope with life and all its demands. I don't want to admit it but I think the fibro... has finally caused an emotional depression, which is also causing the spiralling effect. A stranger, a GP has read my file and summed me up. I am unfit for work. He knows what I know and now I am wracked with fear. He has made me face reality. I sense I am starting a new road and I am scared.I still have bills to pay, I still have to eat, where am I going to find the income from? I know I can't work and care for others anymore.I am struggling to care for myself. It's time to make some life changing decisions and start to care for myself. I live in the UK and know our laws are slightly different to the USA. I would be really grateful to hear from anyone who has been through or is going through the same stages, I am not sure I can do this alone.