Have to go back to work in a week and am terrified...

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by FoggyDayz, Mar 24, 2006.

  1. FoggyDayz

    FoggyDayz New Member

    My doctor, who is the one that diagnosed me about a year ago with FM based on my complaints and the pressure points, has said that he thinks I can return to work on April 3rd after having been out since January 12th when I passed out at work. In January I was so run down after the holidays and then a very demanding business trip, I think my body just gave up.

    My job over the last year and a half has been so hard, it's a 50+ mile commute each way because we relocated to help care for my terminally ill mother-in-law (whom I adore). The environment at work is high-energy, high-stress, and franky it's mostly women who are the nastiest, most cut-throat bunch of b-tches I have ever been around. Unfortunately where we live now though, there are not a lot of job choices making anything close to what I used to make (Hell, I took at $30,000 paycut for this job when we moved!) It's killing me though and like preying animals, I am sure they want me out because I "don't fit" - I don't work overtime, I don't smoke or drink alcohol, I skip all the happy hours, and I try to stay out of the petty political garbage.

    I have been on short term disability since January, but they cut me off on March 5th - they said according to my doctor's notes my vital signs and blood work looked fine and they didn't see any reason I couldn't go back to work. My husband is very supportive and we are trying to rework finances, but we do need some sort of second income right now.

    I have tried to explain to my doctor that I am completely wiped out after 2 hours of any activity, including stuff as basic as taking a shower, getting dressed, and getting my son ready and out the door for daycare/school. I get very dizzy, have cognitive difficulty, and will have to sit down so I don't fall down. Typing this post is even hard, I have to stop and refocus my eyes every few minutes.

    In the last year (while working) I have fallen asleep while driving, had times where I suddenly didn't know where I was or what I was doing, and had many dizzy spells. This is in addition to the pain, but I can usually take pain meds, grit my teeth and make it through that even if I am limping or using things every few feet to grab onto.

    I am sure my lovely co-workers are PISSED that I have been out this long and that they have had to cover my workload and the management of my team. Even my manager has made comments about "a lot has changed since you've been out and it's going to be crazy when you get back, almost like you will be starting over". GREAT! :(

    My doctor wants to be understanding, but I don't think he knows what to do with me and doesn't think he can justify me being out anymore without anything concrete.

    Thanks for reading if you made it this far! Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

    BTW, with my husband's support I am trying to find a job closer to home that would be less stressful and at least bring in 50% of what I currently make, but I haven't had any luck yet.

    Foggy (who is up with insomnia for week #2)
  2. jakeg

    jakeg New Member

    Is the doctor you're talking about a pcp? If so have him refer you to a rheumy for a second opion. My pcp wanted me to go back after being out for 5 months and I spoke to my rheumy about it and he said that it was not a good idea and he took over from there.

    Oh by the way I no longer use the pcp that said go back to work. He claims that I don't want to go back to work because of the secondy gain that all of us are looking for instead of having to work.(yeah right)

    If I could work I would it sure would beat sitting around all day twiddling my thumbs.

    Jake
  3. Crispangel66

    Crispangel66 New Member

    If I were you I would work on finding a new job and soon, but I would also try and find a dr who understands fibro better. I am sure he means well but he doesn't seem to understand that most people with fibro or cfs can't hold down a job because employers don't like it when you take off alot. Or if you have deadlines to meet and aren't able to it will not be good for your job.

    Hope you can get some kind of help or a new job, Pamela
  4. kimfibro

    kimfibro New Member

    are you KIDDING me????

    a doctor actually used those words about not wanting to work?????

    i would have marched right out of there making sure he knew how awful he was at his profession!!!!!!!!!!!!
  5. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    Foggy:
    For one, I hope you really are better enough to go back.
    Secondly, the insomnia will only harm the healing process from what I understand of it.
    My guess is that when you return to work your body will let you know if you can do it before anyone 'tells' you.
    My question would be about your doctor. Doesn't he know FM is long term chronic pain? Just because he doesn't know what to do with you it seems a shame he will just send you back to work. Good luck, though, if you make it back.

    N.F.
  6. musikmaker

    musikmaker New Member

    Our symptoms sound so much alike. I have struggled to stay a work over that past year for all the same issues you had at work. My caliber of work has gone down and my boss like yours is giving me a bad time. I am in the process of working out a retirement package with my company. I thought about going on disability but after reading all the problems so many of us are having with work, doctors, SSI, I thought this would be less stressful. I however am in a position where this is doable. I know many of us are not.

    I agree with others....FIND A NEW DOCTOR. I also worry that you will go back to work and push your body beyond its limits. This is most likely why you passed out at work in the first place. This is very hard but you have to figure out a way to protect yourself. I hope you find your path. Lynda
  7. springrose22

    springrose22 New Member

    Write down the things you said about having trouble getting ready in the morning, being dizzy, etc. and give it to your Dr. in writing. Then, ask him to refer you to someone else, or just go to someone else. To be blunt about it, I think you should quit that job. Period. It is waaaay too sressful for what it's worth. Stay home for a while and pull yourself and your family together. Sounds to me like you need to be on disability for a while. You are going to collapse again. If your Dr. doesn't understand, then, you need to find someone else who does. You are not in any condition to work. Love, Marie

    P.S. I found that the best approach with everyone, Dr.'s, friends, family, is to tell them how I feel, and not let anyone else tell me how I feel, or should feel, or what I can or cannot do, or what the tests show, or whatever. I found that if I made it clear to the Dr.'s that I was incapable or working, then, things worked much better. In fact, if I had listened to one Dr. especially, I wouldn't even have applied for disability. YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR OWN HEALTH. Never mind what they think at work or anywhere else for that matter. You made it clear to me that you can't work, so try it on someone else. Marie[This Message was Edited on 03/25/2006]
  8. sop28

    sop28 New Member

    I have had similar problems. 2 yrs ago I passed out at work. Recently I have been off since February 10th when I got dizzy and by body just collapsed. Stupid me I didn't opt into short-term disability(so no long-term either). I'm on an unpaid medical leave which can only last until 4/23/06. I have been having increasing problems at work. I can't tolerate people anymore. I just about kill myself, pushing myself while other people sit around and chit-chat. I don't have sick or vacation time. Since October I have had 3 sinus infections, various colds, bronchitis, severe gastroenteritis, etc.. My manager says " you really have to get your act together" and "your sick quite often." I want to say maybe if everyone else did there job I wouldn't be forced to pick up the slack! And does she really think that I like being sick!!

    So sorry go blather on! I hope that we both are able to get things straightened out!

    Partners in fibro-crime,
    Tammy
  9. FoggyDayz

    FoggyDayz New Member

    My husband and I had a long talk today about everything and we both agree that I am in no condition to go back to work. I am going to make an appointment ASAP with my PCP (who is the doctor I referred to above) and get a referral to a rheumatologist immediately. My pain level today is pretty bad and I have had multiple dizzy spells during the last week.

    We also worked a worst case budget with me not working at all. We will have to pull our son out of daycare so I will have a 4 year old fulltime, but at least he is more understanding and loves me. :) He does say things like, "Mom, why do you forget everything?" but I'll take that over nasty adults! I will continue to fight for disability though - why in the HELL have we been paying into a long term disability plan all this time if I can't use it when I need it?

    Thank you for all your support and words of wisdom, they are greatly appreciated! I think my biggest fears are pushing myself too hard yet AGAIN (this is not the first time I have collapsed) and just making myself worse.

    Thank you again!
    Foggy