Have you noticed how hurried the world is since your diagnosis?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by SweetT, Feb 2, 2007.

  1. SweetT

    SweetT New Member

    Okay, this post makes me think of the scene in the movie, "The Shawshank Redemption", when the old man finally got paroled out of prison and said, "the world went and got itself in a big hurry", because he has been imprisoned since he was a young man, in the early 1900's, and got out in the late '50s, I think, and had to deal with almost getting run over by cars, because his arthritic, 70+year-old-legs couldn't make it across the street quickly and his arthritic hands couldn't bag the groceries quick enough (that was his job).

    Anyhow, I digress: when I'm out and flaring, with my invisible illnesses, it makes me want to cry when people brush past me (almost knocking me down) because while I look "normal", I'm moving too slow for them. Also, in the checkout line, my arthritic, tendonitis hands are slower, and it's hard to manage paying, getting my change and putting it up, and getting my cart out of the way in 2 seconds. Unfortunately, there are no grocery stores that deliver in my area.

    Anyone else realize just how fast-paced the world is since being afflicted with these dd's (debilitating diseases)?
    [This Message was Edited on 02/03/2007]
  2. shar6710

    shar6710 New Member

    I know exactly what you mean. I used to joke about how all the little old ladies flew by me in the grocery store. Now I have to use a scooter so I can keep up with them!

    I also notice at Dr appts the nurse always walks off briskly to the exam room and then has to stand there and wait for me to arrive. Sometimes they notice my slow pace and wait for me-I'm not sure which is worse.

  3. Suzan

    Suzan New Member

    All the hustle and bustle now that WE have slowed down! In a way it is one of the 'side effects' of getting FMS that I am almost grateful for. No longer do I get caught up in the worldly rush that goes on for "normals' every day. Mostly because I can no longer live my life like that due to the illness. BUT, it has often brought a nice sense of relief for me as well...I think I enjoy daily things and appreciate little things in life much more so now that ever before.
    I do miss being normal...don't misunderstand..I would happily go back to being able to take part in the rush of the world at times...But for now, that isn't the case, and I find that because I am slower..it has the effect of slowing down some of my friends and family at times too...and you know, I think they ENJOY having that quieter time in their lives as well!

    So enjoy life at a slower place..how lucky are we that because of something bad..we are now able to slow down..and enjoy the world at a pace that most people only dream of having...( how is that for putting a positive spin on it???)
  4. Mini4Me

    Mini4Me New Member

    Fumbling with money in the grocery line is one of my most embarassing moments when I shop. I tried to go to using a credit card, but I always press the wrong buttons and the cashier sighs and clears the unit and does it for me.

    I wish I could just say, hey, I'm sick, could you get my money out for me? Or hey, I'm not feeling well, could you put my credit card through for me?

    The people in line are chomping at the bit, and I tell them, "Sorry!" That softens them a bit, but I'd like to see them hurry through the line with "crab claws" for hands! LOL!
  5. grace54

    grace54 New Member

    I used to be part of that mad rush, probably why I am here in part anyway. As I look back I realise I was wound tight and the faster ,harder I worked the better i felt. I realise today that was to help my low grade depression.
    My dad used to say " hurry up and wait" thats what I'm doing now, waiting to get better:)
  6. SweetT

    SweetT New Member

    It's horrible that we have to take our canes or our slings, etc. when we don't necessarily need them, just to give a visible sign for people to be a little more careful.
  7. atiledsner

    atiledsner New Member

    I loved that responce by suzan.I too am guilty of that hustle-bustle time in my life.It is probably partly responcible for me feeling the way i do now.

    I used to feel so guilty for what I couldn't get done in a day.I have friends that could sit on the porch and swing,read the paper etc.

    I could never allow myself that freedom, if I was sitting on the porch for any length of time I was always thinking of what needed to be done.

    I found much of my self worth in my productivity. Some one said to me you are not what you do. You are not what you have, and you are not what you can accomplish in a day.

    I have learned about myself....to slow down, enjoy more of life, do what i feel like doing.
  8. kriket

    kriket New Member

    I feel like everyone is in too big a hurry, even if they are healthy. They need to slow down. I hate being sick,and don't know how the world keeps up, seems like people are getting busier and busier. I get tired just watching people!!!

  9. yjswan

    yjswan New Member

    I really feel torn about this. Some days, I feel like I live in this surreal world where everyone else has something productive to do, some place to go, and I am here watching the world go by...my days wasted. Those are the days I feel depressed and long for my old life in a job I loved and looked forward to going to.

    Other days, I am so grateful I can enjoy a second cup of tea with my newspaper, or that I don't have to struggle with the snow, ice, cold and winter driving. I'm happy to just snuggle with my dog and take my time with my tasks. I'm glad not to be a part of the rat race any longer. Not all my jobs were good!

    At my grocery store, they have a special checkout for individuals with disabilities. Even the cashier has a disability, so it's pretty slow paced. Even though I look "normal", I know I am not, and really don't care what others may think. I do what is best for me.

    I also think where you live makes a difference in how fast-paced your environment is...I live in upstate NY where it's not so bad. I have lived in Denver, Santa Barbara, and have spend time in the south. I found the West to be much faster paced and crazy, even when I wasn't sick, and the south to be a bit too slow, even for me. I haven't been overseas, so I can't speak to that other than many countries give their employees long vacations to spend time with their families...unheard of in the US!

    Sorry, I'm feeling a bit wordy today...too much time alone I think!
  10. Bambi

    Bambi New Member

    maybe it's just me, but I've grown invisible out in public. Years ago my grandmother told me women become invisible once they get older, people step around you or try to walk right "through" you like you weren't there and are some sort of nusiance. So I'm 59 next month and that started happening about a year ago..I think just age wise.

    Add the FM to it and the moving slower from necessity and I really feel out of place out in public. I'm always a talkative person, I'll talk to anyone that will talk to me, and it was never hard to find someone shopping that would take the time. Now I find that most people just either smile and walk on or if they DO stop and chat they act like they are talking to a pathetic old, obviously not so well charity case.

    My FM does show because I stay in out of the sun so many days, plus 8 or 9 years of being severe DOES wear on your skin and all. It's hard to get a bath, dressed, hair done right and all to go, but I do.

    But I can't stand the beauty shop chairs or washing chairs so I do it myself. I don't have a good cut, so clean and curled it looks nice but definitely home made. I think it effects EVERY aspect of your appearance and even attitude, so the "invisible" aspects of having these dd's has disappeared the longer I have it.

    But the general invisibility of the age AND the being slower from the FM
    together make it seem worse, at least for me.
  11. stinker56

    stinker56 New Member

    I went to the local Wal-Mart the other day. My son took me which always helps. He unloads the cart. When I noticed how slowly the cashier was going on the customer ahead of me I wanted to cry for her. The customer seemed so irritated that she was going slowly and that her cart was rounded up. The cashier had a disability. Both of her hands were deformed quite badly. Her hands were nearly backwards on her wrists but she was doing a great job. Not only was she scanning all the items, she was also bagging them with no help whatsoever from the customer who was young and apparently healthy since she seemed irritated having to wait. Not a word was exchanged between my son and myself as this went on.
    My son, as he was putting our groceries on the checkout, helped the young lady with the heavy items and even opened the bags to make things easier for her as she bagged the other things. She smiled sweetly as we talked and when I went to pay her, she then noticed that my right hand too is deformed. You could see in her eyes that I understood as did my son. My right wrist is stiff from RA and I had difficulty getting my debit card out of my purse but she simply talked sweetly and made both our experiences pleasant. As we were about to leave, as if planned, we both said I hope you have a good day.
    In a world where everything everything is so HURRY HURRY, it is nice to know there are a few good eggs out there.
    Just wanted to share this experience with you all.
  12. Juloo

    Juloo Member

    I started noticing this when my mother had cancer and my son was just a toddler. Two people to slow down for. It was good practice -- then fatigue hit, and the "fast" button didn't work any more anyway.

    I've tried to get comfortable in my slowness. When I was on vacation last year (and had no reason to be hurried), I was in the grocery store. It was early evening, and the checkout lines were very full. As I moved toward the shortest line, I realized that one other woman had also spied it. We both had full carts, but I pulled back and let her go ahead, telling her I wasn't in a hurry.

    She stopped and looked at me, and then she said 'thank you' several times -- and then it didn't matter that I was such a slow mover, because it seemed to have made her day!
  13. SweetT

    SweetT New Member

    I remember being a young adult and some people at my place of worship were looked down on because they didn't attend services very often, stating that they were in constant pain or tired. Other 'worshippers' would talk about them horribly. Thinking back, I wonder if those people had CFIDS or Fibro, for they looked just fine.

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