haven't been on in a couple years but please help me

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by minkanyrose, Feb 3, 2010.

  1. minkanyrose

    minkanyrose New Member

    i was in a relationship with my first husband and it ended again after 2 years. the problem i am having is now i am frustrated finances are a big problem. and i am becoming very forgetful again.

    i lost my debit card today and i got so stressed i couldn't remember where i used it last. i did finally find it but i am scared.

    i had eposoides before where i would forget where my kids were. i have panic attacks. i am in counceling and they just want me to set a 5 year goal where do you want to be, like i want a home i own and have a garden.

    i don't see where that is important right now i am more concerned with my memory and my money. i am having panic attacks again.

    can anyone relate and what do you do. i want someone to pay my bills and give me what is left. my house is so disorganized and i can't get it uncluttered and have no one i can ask to help.

    i moved to alabama from iowa 3 years ago and have no family down here but 2 of my kids that arn't that help full i don't trust them to handle my money they arn't responsible. and as far as helping with the house keeping they arn't house keepers my 2 kids that are responsible are in iowa and the other is in the navy in guantanamo bay right now. i feel so lost.

    the thought of moving back to iowa makes me cry i can't take the cold winters and my 2nd husband that was very abusive is there and i want to stay here away from him.

    any ideas or coments welcome i feel like i am losing my mind.
  2. gb66

    gb66 Well-Known Member

    I just wanted to welcome you back to the board. You are having a very difficult time right now. I think the stress form all the things you're going through can probably make you forgetful. I know the people who post on here are very helpful and I'm sure someone will be able to give you some good advice and guidance. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. GB66

  3. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    Welcome back!
    It certainly sounds like you need a little help. It sounds like the counselor you're seeing isn't helping with your immediate needs, with it what you need. If you're comfortable, that is what you need to tell him/her!

    I don't know how old you are - but there should be services in your area for exactly the things you need help with. Someone to come in once a week to help you with your home etc. Of course, I'd be a bit careful about your money and having someone take care of that part, but can you have your bill pay set up to automatically be withdrawn each month from your account for those bills that need to be paid - the regular payments, so that you don't have to write a check for every payment?

    Your regular Dr. or even your counselor should be able to give you some referrals to some services that you qualify for. There is no point in suffering each day. There are people who specialize in uncluttering and helping you get organized. It's time to simplify.

    Have your regular bills set up for automatic withdrawal and allow yourself an "allowance" for incidentals and groceries etc. You can't go over X amount each month for those things. It will require some discipline but I'm sure you can do it. If someone gets you started and gets your house in order...."get rid of what you don't need', and "everything has a place", then you can learn to follow that rule and go on with it. It is daunting when you have to start it yourself and you dont know where to start.

    We had to downsize my Mom and move her last year from a 1700 sq ft home w/a FULL (packed full) basement to a 800 sq ft. apartment. We ditched everything that she doesn't NEED, organized her closet so it's all easy for her, we got little decorative baskets for her items that she wanted access to, small storage bins that fit on shelves for other things- she's all set up to have her bills taken care of, except for any checks she WANTS to write. She has a housekeeper that comes in once a week to do the basics (floors, dusting, washes bedding, cleans bathroom etc) - we're trying to make her life easy. That's the key - making things simple.

    Now to do that for me. LOL

    Check out the resources that are available to you. If your kids aren't good at those kinds of things, then don't ask them. But they aren't your only choice!
    AND...talk to your counselor, he/she needs to address your immediate needs as well as long term goals.

  4. AuntTammie

    AuntTammie New Member

    just wanted to welcome you back and to send some gentle hugs your way

    wish I could do more, but am crashing too badly rt now to try to write anything else and expect it to actually make sense
  5. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Welcome back. I am a Hawkeye too. Born in Decorah. Grew up in neighboring

    My significant other helps me w/ financial matters. I had brain fog for 20-some
    years, and now I've got Alzheimer's. Uff-da!

    If you can afford professional assistance, you should be sure whoever helps you w/ your finances is bonded by an insurance company. That way if the money mysteriously
    disappears, the insurance company will reimburse you.

    I wonder if some church or civic group would have volunteers to help you w/
    your house cleaning. Old age is the time to get rid of stuff.

    Good luck


  6. JLH

    JLH New Member

    Have you talked this problem over with your primary doc you see for fibro? Maybe you should. Perhaps one or more of the meds that you are on now may be adding to, or causing, the memory problems. I know fibro causes a certain amount of fibro fog, but some meds can add to it.

    Just a thought.