Having kids having CFS...?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by jashoemaker, Apr 5, 2007.

  1. jashoemaker

    jashoemaker New Member

    I have a difficult question that has no obvious answers, but I would sincerely appreciate advice from people.

    I have been married for almost 2 years to a wonderful, supportive man and while we are not thinking about having kids in the near future, it is something we dreamed about doing someday. However, I can't imagine having children at my current level of functioning (about 25-30% of normal).

    I would like to know, especially from you parents with CFS/FMS: Knowing what you now know about managing your illness and children, would you say it was worth it, or would you say the fatigue and extra symptoms were just too much?

    Thank you - I will carefully consider all your input.
  2. sacredeye73

    sacredeye73 New Member

    I am a single parent of three. My husband couldn't handle my FMS and left me over a year ago. I have days when I can't get out of bed and the only person that is there to help me is my 13 year old. Is it worth it? No. It's not fair for my 13 year old to have to take care of my 5 and 10 year old for 1, 2, sometimes 3 days at a time. At 13 he should be playing sports, out with his friends, doing stuff. He should not have to step in and be the parent when I am in too much pain to do it myself.

    He is a great kid and never ever complains, but one day he is going to look back at his childhood and realize he never really had one.

  3. maryld

    maryld New Member

    This is a hard one....well, i have two children..........my son will be ten in two months and my daughter is 7. It was three years ago when i became extremely ill with CFIDS,FM and POTS...at 31yrs old........ If it were not for my family and husband i would never of been able to do it.................do you have a very supportive family?If yes are they near to help if you needed them to?................I have been with my husband since high school and though I KNOW he is sick of this illness he hangs in there...........i think its because the help we get from my family..........my kids have had to do things on their own some days and the worse is not being able to do what i want with them all the time.......going outside and playing basketball, long walks etc.......however any time i had where i felt decent, if even for five minutes, i would play whatever they wanted.....now is it worth having children????.....absolutely.......but it is a tough road for all involved.......but you learn ways to handle it. If i were a single parent and no family help then i would probably not be saying that.......my children are the reason i live and breath. PLEASE...PLEASE...understand i am not about to say this to scare you or talk you out of it........my son has now been diagnosed with CFIDS,FM and POTS also. It started full blown last summer. We just got back from NY after seeing a world renowned doctor (Dr.David Bell)who has finally diagnosed him....................its so heart breaking i cant begin to put into words.................(Thats another story in itself)........I would talk to your husband, family, friends etc. and tell them the road to raising children with your condition is a hard one and do you have their support no matter what if you and your hubby decide to go that route. Sorry so long and no spaces......cant figure out how to space it on this computer yet............this is all just my opinion........i love my children and though i feel more guilt then i can bare at times i don't regret it one bit..............we as a family are closer and stronger then ever................i wish you the best......and follow your heart............anything else just post to me.......BEST WISHES..............MARY
  4. momof471

    momof471 New Member

    its worth it. Although, my youngest had just turned 2 when I began having problems. I have 4 girls. Things are far from perfect, I can't take them to all the activities they would like to do, they have to pitch in also with more chores than the average children. They see me laid out taking naps quite often, but I still talk with them watch movies with them, give them hugs and kisses, they know they are loved, even though I can't do many things other mom's might do. Its not the life I dreamed of but then it could be worse.

    God Bless
  5. jashoemaker

    jashoemaker New Member

    Thank you so much for sharing these thoughts. You all have given me some things to think about. Right now I do not live near any family, and I think it's a good point that things could be much more bearable with their support.