He knows that stresses me out...

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by basket21, Feb 26, 2003.

  1. basket21

    basket21 New Member

    but still does it. We all know stress brings our pain level up to the point I can hardly walk. If he takes me to the doctor appointment later he makes it sound that he should get a medal.
    My family is helping me as they know my hubbie is not much help at all. Doesn't even put the plate in the dishwasher or even on the counter. Just pushes it away and gets up. My major stress elevator is when he goes to the store and comes back anywhere between 2 a.m. and 4 a.m. He's out drinking, that's what he does best.
    I need an objective opinion that I am not magnifying things out of proportion. The family says I am not. what about you?..........needing opinion....basket21
  2. Fairyeyes

    Fairyeyes New Member

    and that is why I am moving out this weekend.
  3. basket21

    basket21 New Member

    Direct and understood fairyeyes.
    The answer to your question, lifedancer, is no. I was always independent prior to my FM. I worked, we went to clubs, bbq's,
    dances etc. So I was always busy and never realized he was like this. Only when I needed someone did I realize he wasn't there.
    Family said I should consult lawyer to see where I would stand.
    I don't think I could support myself is the problem. Then I look at him the next day and realize I still love him. basket21
  4. nct

    nct New Member

    that things are like that for you.
    What the others have said is true. If your stress is so bad with him there, would be any worse with
    him not there? From what you say, how could it be?
    If your family will still stand by you, help you get to the doctors, etc, fabulous. The least your husband, who married you and said he loved you, could do is support you as well.
    Be selfish. Do what is best for YOU!!!! You're the one with this DD. If he is not the best he can be, for you, you don't need that crap anymore.
    But I have a wonderfully supportive boyfriend; so maybe its tough for me to see staying with someone who doesn't love you.

    Good luck!!

    Nancy
  5. pamela

    pamela New Member

    your husband sounds alot like my first one. My first husband was so mean and would not do anything for me and ran around like you mentioned. You need to find out if he is having affairs!!! Go to a attorney and find out what your options are and if you left what would happen financially. It sounds like you love him but fear also can mask love. When you look at him how do you feel, especially when he treats you bad? You need to either get him to come around or you need to find another mate. They can make you really sick when they act like that. I know I have been there. Well hope this helps...you deserve better. I found out the hard way .....way after it nearly killed me and definitely ruined my health. Now I have the most wonderful husband in the world. Hope this helps...Pamela
  6. basket21

    basket21 New Member

    You're right. I am the one with the DD. I am the one that counts when it comes to getting better.
    I guess I needed that pep talk cuz it's so easy to fall back on your esteem after a while.
    regards...........basket21
  7. dan0248

    dan0248 New Member

    I've got dogs that are more help then your old man, it sounds like. I do the all of the house work since I have been laid off and with all this DDDDDDD FM. We have our house on the market and will move south as soon as it sold. I take care of it and I have it ready to show everyday. I know first hand what my wife goes thru with all this house work. You need to put up or shut up, tell him like it is, if you can. Hell wouldn't want you to get hurt not knowing what kind of person he is. My Dad and my Grand dad would be just sick if they could see what we as a race are turning out to be. I got in a guys face at WalMart a couple days back because it was abuseing his kid. He had him by the upper arm was really hurting him. Just walk up and ask him if he'd like it that way. I'm only 5"10 but I weigh in at about 230 lbs ex Power Lineman, and I hate people that do that to their kids, you know the ones that lean over so they can get real close to kid or spouse and get real nasty where no one else can hear them. O-well lost in the tall grass again Selma, just be careful. Life is to short to live that way.