Hello again

Discussion in 'Caregivers' started by BonnieB, Jan 28, 2002.

  1. BonnieB

    BonnieB New Member

    Just popping in to say hi!! I am at my stress relief tonight which is my computer and also my graphic designing.I hide here when I dont want to see my husbands puppy dog looks.Its his "Oh god please make this go away"look. He fixed the kitchen sink today and I know he will be down for a week because of it.I feel so bad sometimes because I wish I could make it all go away.I just feel so very helpless...Now remember I did not say HOPELESS, just helpless.Worse feeling in the world to me.Any one else feel helpless? And when will we ever get time for "Us"? Am I selfish?
  2. annee

    annee New Member

    No Bonnie you are not selfish.
    I know where you are coming from.
    My hubby GB is in the process of re tiling our kitchen splashbacks. It is taking quite a bit out of him energy wise, but it is an achievement for him and when it is finished ( our kitchen remodel began 4 years ago, rebuilt by professional carpenter, all 'we' had to do was re tile and paint!! :), he will have contributed to the job, regardless of his ?*^##***# cfs.
    GB is lately always flaking (sleeping) and more things are a bigger effort for him.
    I frequently find myself chatting away to him, only to find him sprawled on the couch - sound asleep. Sometimes I watch him as he sleeps, and my eyes fill with tears, 'cos I hate to see him suffer - that helpless feeling - you know it!
    As I watch his health spiral, my eyes fill with tears more and more often.
    GB's puppy dog looks sometimes melt my heart, and other times I find myself screaming on the inside "what about me".
    I feel so terribly selfish at times, perhaps we are sad for what we 'had' in our relationships. It is hard to forge ahead in life being eternally tired.
    Somehow, we try to keep moving forward, bit by bit.
    I hope our 'us' time awaits us all in the not too distant future!!
    I will surely be keeping a lookout for it!!
    hugs to you and your husband,
  3. BonnieB

    BonnieB New Member

    Oh god My eyes filled with tears reading your reply...I feel the exact same way.Maybe i need to stop trying to be so strong and cry more???