Hello all just a update and I found a gown

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by ckball, Apr 17, 2008.

  1. ckball

    ckball New Member

    Things are starting to slow down for her, her breathing is is shallow and she has been having apena moments where she stops breathing for 10-20 seconds.

    The Dr said she would be surpised if she goes another 24 hours, but has seen it happen. She is experiencing hyper-sensitivity to touch.

    If you hold her hand or stroke her face or arm she will push you away. She will not leave her gown or sheets on, everytime you cover her up, she pulls it off.

    We had a rough night last night as she moaned and groaned from about 3am-6am, then it got worse so they gave her more sedation, she has been resting comfortably today.

    I was reallly exhausted and slept until 11, of course with interuptions but they let me sleep then cleaned the room after I got up.

    I finally found a gown, see my profile to see it. I googled burial gowns, duh! One of the chaplins came in and we prayed and he asked god to help me find the right thing for her. Then the idea came to me.

    They only sell to funeral homes but she did tell me what she had available and decided, then the funeral home had to call for pricing. They are only charging me the cost of the gown and overnight shipping for $96.

    The one funeral home wanted $225 for something similar, it is a shame they mark things up so much and take advantage of greiving people. The place I am using have taken care of all my family for 50 years or more.

    I can't answer everyone one right now but I do want to thank Elaine for the poem and am going to use it and may place it on her memorial cards. It was so beautiful, where did you get it from?

    Other than being really tired and having some upset tummy problems, my meds got stuck in my lower esphogus last night and didn't know it until the upset/burning feeling started then ate to much trying to wash it away but ended up throwing up at 3 am, I am doing better than I expected. NOw that I have the gown, I can relax and just wait.

    It is hard because I can't touch her and hold her hand, she gets very agitated, even speaking to her has to be whispers as every thing is magnified including the hearing.

    Thank you all for being here and sharing your stories of losing your own loved ones, I know when I see her at the funeral in her beautiful gown it will hit me hard, then when my daughter goes home afterwards will be the hardest part.

    I know have no mother, father, grandparents, siblings and will have to work hard at staying positive and hang in there for my dogs. They have been very good here and know something is going on.

    Yesterday Missy got up on the bed and was licking her and I took mom's hand and put it on Missy's head and pet her, mom moved her hand around Missy's neck and pulled her toward her to hug her. Other than that, there has not been any acknowlegment of anything.

    A freind just came in so I will talk to you later-thank you all, you are so wonderful and I appreciate everything you have done and your prayers-Carla
  2. Rafiki

    Rafiki New Member

    We don't really know each other but I went through a very similar journey with my own mother. I remember being surprised that it all made so much sense, somehow, even when it was harrowing. I found that a little unsettling, sometimes, like the peace could desert me but it never did. It was right and in its season, so to speak.

    I wish you both Peace,

  3. victoria

    victoria New Member

    when my MIL and mother died... we just kept talking to her off and on... telling her it was ok to let go.

    My thoughts and prayers are still with you and your mother, Carla...


  4. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    Oh Carla,

    That gown is so beautiful. The color, style and material is so lovely. That is wonderful price too. You were soo lucky to find it. I love it.

    We are all thinking of you my dear and all you are going through with your dear Mom.

    Hugs and blessings to you both !!


  5. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    That is so beautiful. I am glad this worked out.

    I pray that you will find peace and serenity as you go through the night.

    God Bless, Annie
  6. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    What a hard time this is for you and how well you're handling it all by yourself - with the girls.

    I continue to hold you in my prayers.

    Get some rest tonight if you can and know that we'll all be here for you when it's over.

  7. stick2013

    stick2013 Member

    The goen is beautiful and your mom will look like an angle when she passes through to the other side.

    I am glad that you found one for her. I hope that she passes with no pain, and is comforted by the knowledge that she was loved very deeply by you.

    Many hugs to you, and I am sending strength also.

    You are a good daughter......A good person....
  8. 1sweetie

    1sweetie New Member

    The gown and robe are lovely.

    May her passing be peaceful.

    You and your Mom are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. I wish peace and comfort to both of you.
    Remember you are not alone in spirit.
  9. doloresf1

    doloresf1 New Member

    The gown is beautiful. Your mother is blessed to have you looking after her final needs.

    You and your mother remain in my thoughts. Peace to you both.


  10. sisland

    sisland New Member

    The Gown is Beautiful! Looks like a gown for an Angel!,,,,I'm Holding you and your Mom in my heart and Prayers,,,,,,,,,,Love,,,Sis
  11. ksp56

    ksp56 Member

    Your mother's gown is the most beautiful I've seen. How special of you to take all of the time to give your mom, her final gift.

    I remember picking out my dad's clothing for his funeral. It was heart wrenching, but I know daddy would've have been proud.

    Please take care.. Your mom may have died when you read this. I pray she had a peaceful death, or does have. It sounds as if she has already started her journey.. How wonderful for her, how bittersweet for you.

    You are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Many gentle hugs,

  12. 4everkid

    4everkid New Member

    Carla, the gown is like that of an angel. I know your mother would be very pleased. I had never heard of a burial gown either, but it seems the perfect garment. Just beautiful.

    I went through this for 3 months with my mother before she died, being with her every day so she wouldn't be alone. I know what you are going through. Your mother may not know now how you have stayed lovingly at her side, but she will. You are a comfort to her, being there with her during her final hours, and a daughter any mother would be proud of.

    I am glad you found the perfect gown, and no longer have to worry about that. I will be thinking of you, and praying for you both, that her passing will be gentle and peaceful.
  13. Rosiebud

    Rosiebud New Member

    the gown is beautiful, absolutely lovely, I'm so glad you found it. We don't have burial gowns over here.

    I hope your Mum finds peace soon Carla, it's a blessing that you are able to stay with her.

    love Janet (Rosie)
    [This Message was Edited on 04/18/2008]
  14. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    The gown is so beautiful. You are such a wonderful daughter.

    I lost my Daddy on July 20. I was able to hold his hand until he took his last breath. Than the most peaceful look came across his face and he even had a little smile. I feel like he saw Momma waiting for him and they are now togather, and all the pain he was in is gone.

    Please know that you and your Mom are in my thougts and prayers.]

    God bless; Pam
  15. fibromickster

    fibromickster New Member

    You are such a strong and wonderful person Carla and I am so sorry for what you are having to go through. I just know your Mother is so proud of you for being there for her and doing what you are doing for her.

    The gown you picked out for her is absolutely gorgeous and as someone said in one of the posts, she will look like one of God's angels.

    I hope that you can get some needed rest and please take care of yourself. Love you and I am saying lots of prayers for you.

    You are in my thoughts Carla

  16. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I know the feeling all too well. I lost my dad Jan 5, 08 and it's still so surreal that he's gone.

    Like you, I sat with him during his final days in the hospital and then in hospice. I was with him when he passed. All in all it was such a relief that his suffering had finally ended, but so sad to see him go.

    Your mom is so lucky to have you by her side. Take care of yourself.

  17. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    Because I am so close to my own Mom, it is very difficult for me to know exactly what to say to you. I really can't fight back the tears right now and I am feeling rather selfish. I should be supporting you.
    Just know that I am among all of your other friends here who is thinking of you during this most difficult time, who will be there with you in thought in these next few days, weeks and all of the times ahead.
    Whisper what you need to to your Mom. Please also take care of yourself, your body and your heart as much as you can.
  18. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    I love the gown, it took my breath away. So lovely.

    I know how hard all of this is. Remember that you have all of us praying for you and your mother.

    What a lovely way to pay honor to your mother with this gown and your work to find it.