Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by wish_to_be_healthy, Oct 24, 2006.
Just a note to let you know I'm thinking about you.
May God have his hand on you all today.
Thinking and praying for you to. Sorry I've not had much of a chance to write. I'm withdrawing from Cymbalta and it has been quite a ride.
I'm so happy that you and Caffy have a chance to talk. She is a truely an amazing woman.
Pls. do not feel I'm ignoring you, Everyday I am praying for you.
PS. This board is filled with amazing people. I hope you stick around and get to know and love them all as much as I do.
[This Message was Edited on 10/24/2006]
I'm sorry about the Cymbalta...I couldn't take that drug to begin with...and I know from the other board that it is very hard to withdrawl from.
I am so grateful that you and Cath talked to me, and that others responded...I am talking with my freind again, and that feels good...we haven't talked about the group, so that is good.
I have to admit, as I have responded to others on the other board, that I'm trying to be uplifting and supportive...I think we all want to be connected. We feel so much disconnection with the outside world with this illness...I feel like I don't have a "group"...which is funny, because I have responed to others saying that they belong, and are cared about...
So, why is it so hard to take that to heart...easier to tell someone else, than heed one's own words.
The other thing is...I am trying to have a more positive attitude in life, no matter how I feel...I don't want it to be taken as being a pollyanna...just uplifting.
I don't want people to mistake my kindness, for weakness.
I don't want to have a hard heart anymore in my life...it seems if people detect "vulnerability" (being kind, seeing that as weak)...sometimes they go for the jugular...I realize this says more about them, than me...but maybe today is harder, because I am also feeling more symtomatic (major headachs the past days that seem realted to me adding supplements, changing diet)
I wish for more harmony than discord in life...I feel we all with this disease react to that kind of stress.
Take care De...I pray that you will be feeling better as the drug detoxes out of your body.
You are in the right place here, i've noticed your posts and replys, here and on the other board.
Even tho i haven't replied, i'm getting to know you, by your words. Don't be afraid to have a kind heart, which you do have.
It's way better than a hard heart, or a numb heart.
"I wish for more harmony than discord in life...I feel we all with this disease react to that kind of stress. "
Me too, i long for harmony in my life, but the rest of my household dosen't seem to feel that way or care.
They have no idea how much they wear and tear on my fragile nerves. How much i long to have us knit in love, and not all the turmoil and bickering.
I suppose that's pretty unrealistic with three boys, and a husband who seems to like to be contrary.
Although he says he doesn't do it on purpose! If i say nay, he says yea, If i say cold, he says hot, if i say pink he says blue.
It really wears me out.
I long for peace.
Uhhhmmmmm, sorry didn't mean to go there. I too am trying to be more positive.
I think our attitudes really count, but I can do nothing about the attitudes around me!
It's good that you are talking with your friend again. She is going to need you.
As for now I would steer clear of disscussing the (pink eleaphant) in the room, but for sure the day will come.
It's not so odd to feel like you don't have a group. I started on the RA/FM boards because I have RA/ FM / and a few more of the alphabet soup diseases. ( as I call them ). I was checking out different sites and came here.
I felt like this was my place. And I feel like you're apart of this board also. It is so different here, if you show weakness no one will attack, only offer to help any way they can. Because we have all been there.
I really have to think on how to say this...but here goes. I know that evil is among us and he works so much harder when we are close to God or coming back or just when we plain don't feel well. He sees the hole in our armor.
If he can make you feel like you don't belong, he knows he's winning. You have a good heart and I think you have been listening as Jesus has been talking to you. We just have got to remember that Jesus is not the only one talking to us.
This may sound a little strange but some how it is what I felt for a long time.( I hope the others on this board will comment on this,also). Anyway here goes.
When we get these diseases unlike any others, it forces to grieve and mourn the death of the person we have known and been all our lives. We can't go back that person is gone.
We are someone we don't know and it does take us time to meet and accept and even like the person we have become. We had our entire lives to develope into the person we were and in a split second they ask us to be this new person.
I was very hard-hearted, and yet protective might be a better word. I didn't let anyone close to this new person I was. I tried to act the way the old person I thought I was, would act. Anyways as the song says " they shake their heads and say you've changed". Oh ya...we have changed.
It is eye opening and soul opening. I'm so sorry for rambling like this. I've never told any of this to anyone before. So maybe it is you that God has sent for me not viseversa or maybe both. Blessings, De
You sound so much better than you did last week. I am glad it is starting to come together for you. I am glad to hear you are connecting with the neat people on this board.
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