Hello everyone

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by mtinash, Aug 1, 2008.

  1. mtinash

    mtinash New Member

    Well its been a month since Josh passed away and I can sometimes get through the day without being a total wreck. There are so many legal issues to take care of and it seems like everytime I turn around someone is trying to stick it to me. Social Security actually took back his disability payment for June since he died the 2nd day of July. Make no sense to me. I joined a support group for survivors of suicide that has helped out alot. I also unfortunately found out that a couple of days before Josh passed he has stopped taking his Paxel, which I think was part of the problem.

    My mother in law also has FM/CFS and we think that is where Josh got it. I am the only person she can relate to right now, not only for her condition but for the grief over her son. Sometimes it is very hard for me to discuss Josh with her because I might be doing OK at that minute and when we start talking I end up crying.

    Everyone of this board has been so nice to me during Joshs illness and since his passing and I would like to say Thank you and if there is anything I can do for anyone of you I would gladly do it.

    Take Care of yourselves and God Bless You
  2. kjfms

    kjfms Member

    I don't think we have met but I just wanted to wish you the best.

    Bless you too,

    Karen :)
  3. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    Don't want to ask a difficult question, but was Josh more or less depressed when he started Paxil? I told you my good friend's husband committed suicide 3 years ago, he was on Paxil as well - they were doing a lot of looking into that component. I so hope that wasn't an inappropriate thing to ask.

    I'm glad you're doing a little bit better. I'm sure it's two steps forward, one step back. I bet it's got to be awful on Josh's Mom as well. It's nice that the two of you have each other. It's okay to end up crying.

    How did you meet Josh? Was it love at first sight?? I bet he fell right in love with you - you're so compassionate!
  4. mtinash

    mtinash New Member

    Josh was somewhat depressed when they started him on Paxil. The medication seemed to make him worse. From the first moment I laid eyes on him it was like we had known each other our whole lives. He was my soulmate and the love of my life. I am having a hard time dealing with his mom due to the fact that she self medicates with prescription drugs that make her wacky sometimes and she says some crazy stuff. She is both hurt and angry at the fact that Josh is gone since he was her baby. I cannot be angry at Josh because I loved him so much and saw everyday the pain he was in and he just could not handle it. He lived with the pain and frustration of this terrible condition and so did I. While I could never really comprehend the amount of pain he was in, I always tried to understand and did not put any expectations on him. I always tried to support him in whatever he did or did not feel like doing. There were many days that he could not get out of bed and the only thing I requested that he do was try to eat even if it was just a very bland small meal.

    I have alot of anger at the medical community for failing him. I called his PM Dr. to cancel his appt. and told them that he had passed away and requested that the Dr. contact me and I never heard anything from him. I should be able to get the autopsy report in about three weeks and will be quite anxious to see if there were any other medical conditions that the Dr. did not find.

    Does anyone know of a organization that does research on FM. Alot of my friends/customers have asked for a place to make a monetary contribution in Joshs name, but I don't know of any.

    God Bless
  5. DeborahLynn

    DeborahLynn Member

    may be able to tell you about places that research FM.

    So sorry about your loss! I so badly wish I could do or say something to help you. I'm sending my love and prayers!

  6. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    Hi Bennie-
    Thank you for replying to me directly. I'm sorry I did not see this post until now!
    There are quite a few organizations if you google Fibromyalgia. I can't think of the names of them off the top of my head.

    I found this site and thought it might be helpful to you when you're ready. Only when you're ready. I read through it and wish I'd sent it to my friend when she was hurting so.

    I read your post about the autopsy report. Is there a Dr. (yours maybe) that you could ask your questions to? I think you need real medical advice. I'd even call the coroner's office for clarification.

    I'm appalled at that dr's office that they never called you back after you cancelled the appt and told them what happened! What in the hell is wrong with people??? Sorry - that just amazes me. I guess there is no point in focusing on that. I'm just sorry you were treated so insensitively.

    What a beautiful picture of Josh! Thank you so much for sharing for all of us to see.

    Take care of yourself and Thank you for popping in here and staying in touch!