Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by NewEnglander, Oct 6, 2008.

  1. NewEnglander

    NewEnglander New Member

    wanted to post yesterday but was so tired, as today.

    yesterday I took my father out for lunch and tried desperately to comfort him.

    He did eat.

    then I went home, long drive, then cooked him supper and brought it to him. he ate some

    wondering were my other three sisters are. I sure could use a break

    It was hard being at the home with my father seeing my mother's empty bed.

    again I had to sleep with all the night lights on, but did sleep through the night.

    I had a dream that my mother was walking (not in a wheel chair) around her bed to her oxygen tank. she was smiling and said I don't need this anymore.

    today when I was at the home I had them removed that oxygen.

    I had to go to the clinic for the methodone treatment, which I hate. but they told me my blood preassure was too high so they had to increase.

    never had so many problems until this doctor decided to take me off the med's

    tommorow I have to go for more treatment before the funeral and they want me to stay for a aa meeting as well. I don't drink at all. never was much for that

    I want to be at my mothers funeral. they think I should be in the hospital so I don't use. that too funny, I don't use.

    today I went to a neat craft store with my dad and bought different stuff to decorate his pumkins.

    for lunch we had steamers, lobster and chowder.

    now I have to go make phone calls and work on my mothers pictures for tommorow.

    thank you for listening.

    love to you

  2. NewEnglander

    NewEnglander New Member

    I don't feel proud

    I feel numb, its hard to pray too.

    I do pray in the spirit from time to time. when I have time.

    I'm still looking at my mother's picture album, trying to get them ready for tommorow's display.

    I still can't say the funeral. I call it tommorow's thing.

    I have to read a poem, hope I can, lol

    at least I'll get to see my mother's pretty face again.

    but after that, I still have to take my fahter back to the home and try to find comfort for him.

    I stay with him until he is very sleepy.

    were suppose to write a note to my mom and put it in coffin.

    I just want to say "please come home" but she's in heaven for sure. she always said her prayer's.

    She would tell me to offer my day to God.

    one prayer she said before she died was for God to keep her safe, that one I don't understand, now she's gone.

    right now she would be telling me not to be so nervous. and to breath.

    all this advice but none on what to do if I were to loose her.

    I wish I could ask her on how I'm suppose go on without her, I just miss her.

    she still call's me her little girl.

    my father keeps telling me awful he is feeling, "that its just so awful"

    I keep trying to tell him that he's not alone, that I will take care of him.

    I'm worried about were they might put him, I don't want him to end up in a room with 3 other guys.

    they were always holding hands, sneaking kisses, it was cute.

    I'm going to pray for his salvation so he can be with her soon.

    well back to my picture's, that's if there still in tact, my cat's won't leave me or them alone, lol

    thank you and everyone for all the support you have given me.

    my only christian friends

    love lisa
  3. windblade

    windblade Active Member


    I love the way you described your mother - so loving. And how much you love her.

    Praying for tomorrow for you and your Dad, and your family.

    The dream you had about your Mom was amazing. Yes, she has no health problems now.

    Praying for your Dad's salvation. I've seen it happen before, when a couple is very close, and one goes before.

    The one who is left behind reaches out to God, because of the emptiness and change. Praying that for him.

    A small prayer:

    Dear Jesus, please be strongly with Lisa and her Dad. Wrap your arms tightly around them, Lord. And bring your comfort into their grief.

    Surround them with your tender love and understanding.
    In your Holy Name, Amen.

    With love,

  4. Sweetpotatoe

    Sweetpotatoe New Member

    I've been praying for you too lisa.

    Praying for supernatural peace and comfort that only our Father in Heaven can provide.

    Love and compassion and understanding.

    Lord have mercy.

    Love Cindy.
  5. NewEnglander

    NewEnglander New Member

    and to all who have been there for me
    just wanted to say hello
    and to thank you for all your Love and Support.
    your kindess has meant the world to me and to restore my faith in people.

    its so good to know that there are kind people out there when the world feels so cold sometimes.
    and when people feel so cold as well

    I did fianlly get to speak to my doctor.
    she believes me and not what the other doctor has made up about me.

    but I still have to find another doctor.

    this will be hard since the doctor who covered for me has made it impossible for find a decent doctor.

    the letter she wrote was so damaging.

    my mother's funeral was so sad.

    I'm still dreaming she's alive and sleep with all the night lights on.

    I also don't like being alone too much.

    my son helped me clean my room tonight, I thought that was sweet of him. I really needed the company more then anything.

    I have been spending most of my time with my dad, really wish my other sisters would try and help out.

    a councelor at the home told me that I should take some time for myself to try and get well but my father really needs me.

    God Bless
    love lisa
  6. Sweetpotatoe

    Sweetpotatoe New Member

    I'm still praying for you, I pray you find a balance to help your dad and get some time out too, I'm praying and asking the Lord to open doors for you to get a good doctor, to get your meds under control and for healing too.

    Your body has used so much energy to get through these trauma's, I pray for rest for you, for peace that passes understanding, for a refreshing in your spirit.

    I'm sorry you have so much happening in your life, stay strong and trust the Lord for His Help.

    And take good care of you.

    Love Cindy.