I’m having a huge dilemma about whether or not to re-try antidepressant drugs. I am struggling with a lot of depression and anxiety, which feels like it’s getting worse, especially as I feel worse physically. In December, I tried 30mg Cymbalta and after 2 weeks did got over the jittery side effect. Then I went to Zoloft (worked up to 50mg) but it made my mood worse and sedated me too much during the day while giving my insomnia. I had a major crash around the time I started/stopped the ADs (in retrospect, don’t know if the crash was related to that), and swore I would not try them again. However, now I find myself very worried about my mental health, with increasing thoughts of suicide (my family and doctors know this). I told my psychiatrist I wanted to hold off on any more drugs until I saw how I would do on the Valcyte. It’s been almost 2 months on the Valcyte now. I think the Valcyte has increased my mood problems. I continue to take Ativan daily. The options my psychiatrist had considered where: 1. Pamelor (a tricyclic), seeing first if a low dose would help me sleep and then maybe increasing to help with mood. The problem is that I am afraid that a dose high enough to treat depression will sedate me to no end. TCAs are very sedating. Also, Pamelor can cause hypotension, and my blood pressure is already low. 2. Another SNRI (I did better on the SNRI than SSRI) like Effexor or Pristiq. But I have heard horrible stories about Effexor, particularly about discontinuation issues. You can’t even taper at your own pace bc they come in capsules. My fear basically is not only of side effects of the drugs, but that starting and stopping them is not easy. It’s not like starting and stopping aspirin because it upsets your stomach. Withdrawal symptoms from psychiatric drugs are no picnic and can really stress out a person already with CFS! But on the other hand, I don’t know if I can take being this miserable anymore. I already do psychotherapy, massage, relaxation CDs. I don’t know what else I can do on my own. I know some of this is the Valcyte but I don’t want to be dead before the Valcyte has a chance to work! My issue is debilitating fatigue, depression, anxiety. But not much pain. I don't care if the AD addresses pain or not. If anyone has any experiences to share, that would be great. I'm scared and confused... Thanks.