Help-Family's Coming and I'm So Depressed/In Pain

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by anakinkaid, Dec 24, 2005.

  1. anakinkaid

    anakinkaid New Member

    What do I do? After getting all this done (holiday stuff), I fall and feel so low, so weak. Now everyone is coming over, expecting 'Wonder Woman'. I want to run, hide-scream: I can't do this. Please help somebody! Ana
  2. alaska3355

    alaska3355 New Member

    I'll pray for you and that your Christmas if more painfree. Let your family help...hopefully you have family coming and that they'll understand. Even if they don't, the Christmas spirit should help and I hope they'll jump in and do things for you. Take care of yourself first...blessings, Terri
  3. kalaya

    kalaya New Member

    Are you expected to be to sole greeter and server at this get together or will people be more realistic about this and all will pitch in a bit?I don't have any magical 'why didn't I think of this' advice but I will relay to you what Jesus said in regards to stressing and this is that he said do not worry because this wil not add one cubit to your life.
    Translation ,worrying won't aide the situation one bit.Many times easy to say and not as easy to do.I am hopefull that your family will be understanding about your physical limitations and knowing this will pull there own weight and that you will be enriched by there company and not drained by it.Merry Christmas.
  4. pam_d

    pam_d New Member

    ...with all of my husband's family, as his dad died unexpectedly on Thursday. So we are somehow trying to have a "normal" Christmas day but steeling ourselves for a funeral, plus digging through everything for important papers, precious mementoes, etc. Definitely can make one want to hide, but I have to be there for my husband and in-laws right now, and I will be.

    I hope your family will help you out some, and make things a little less stressful for you. Good luck & Happy Holidays---you'll make it through...

    [This Message was Edited on 12/25/2005]
  5. springrose22

    springrose22 New Member

    At thanksgiving, I just smiled at my daughters and said you'll have to do everything because I can't, and they did, while I lay down and watched a movie with my grandson. Went really well. Much the same will happen today. Love, Marie
  6. musikmaker

    musikmaker New Member

    I am new to the board and have not posted yet. Your note caught my eye and I just wanted to say that I can totally relate to your feelings. You have to tell your family you are no longer Wonder Woman. They need to understand you are limited. If they don't want to help you, then next year tell them Christmas needs to be at someone elses house. One of the hardest thing I am dealing with is getting family to understand I am no longer the person who could work all day long.

    I hope your day goes well. Put yourself ahead of pleasing eveyone and sneak off to take small breaks to get you through the day. Take Care.
  7. hopeful4

    hopeful4 New Member

    Christmas isn't a Norman Rockwell painting for most families. Holidays bring up so many expectations, some unrealistic, even for the healthiest people.

    You just can't do it all. When we cannot do it, and we want so much to be able to, sometimes we ourselves are the most disappointed person of all.

    What about saying to your family something like: Wish I could, but I can't right about pitching in this time around so everyone can enjoy Christmas?

    I bet they'll come around. Hope so. If not, that doesn't mean you have to.

    Take good care, and blessings to you and yours,

  8. anakinkaid

    anakinkaid New Member

    Thanks to everyone for their supportive messages. They helped more than you can know: courage and clarity to redirect the flow of who does what, how we care. Everything went well with everyone helping - even the dishes got done! At the end I was still without strength and sore, but the day went well and there was much happiness and joy. I went to bed early and my husband stayed up playing hearts with the children. Sometimes I want to be 'rewarded' for my efforts at resting with 'recovery', to be my old self again. Maybe the best 'gift' I can give myself is loving the 'new' self and let others share in the creative efforts that make our home our home. Have any of you any thoughts on how?
    Ever - Ana
    [This Message was Edited on 12/26/2005]
    [This Message was Edited on 12/26/2005]
  9. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    If you're alcoholic don't go to bars. If (like Humphrey Bogart) you play tough guys, don't go to bars. (He was always doing this and getting into fights.)

    And if, like me, you have a wretched, dysfunctional family, avoid them. At the most, visit them so you can leave when you want. And don't let them pressure you into doing what they want.

    One of my drs. told me years ago, stop trying to be nice to SOBs. My life has been much easier since. When they call up and ask me to do something ridiculous, I no longer try to be polite. I just say, "Are you crazy?!" End of discussion. If they want to pout and sulk, they can do it, but not at my house.

    And you don't have to be rescuing them from their craziness either.

    It's only difficult the first few times. And it is SO liberating.

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