I may get a little personal here, but I'm in desperate need of guidance and understanding because right now I feel like going off a cliff or at least running away. (I can't do either because I have two young kids.) Anyway, a little history... there have been major communication problems in my marraige since day one. Alcoholism has also become a problem. (Not me, the spouse.) His drinking has been a major problem, but now with him stopped drinking and the counseling and Al-Anon I attend... we find that our alcoholic parents and childhoods are making matters worse. Now to add the cherry on top, I finally have a diagnosis (last June) to confirm my "anti- social behavior" (Getting startled easily, no libido, skin crawls or hurts when touched, etc.) So, we've been in counseling and recently seemed to make some progress, but in one little moment last night, it all went to HELL! He asked for sex - out of the blue, after I told him that I needed to plan and couldn't do it but maybe once a month. (I tried about a week ago... I was wiped out and in serious pain in my hips and legs for days after.) Anyway, he felt rejected, again...I don't blame him. BUT, he's blaming me and not the disease. He is clueless about my condition and it's effects. No matter how often I have encouraged him to learn and try to convince him that he'll gain some understanding...he won't learn. He finds it easier to blame me. I know this behavior is wrapped up in his alcoholic problems as well, BUT do feel that at some point there has to be a decision about whther or not to stay with this man. He makes me feel so guilty. I am also completely dependent upon him financially and we have two young kids. What do I do? Go ahead and divorce and make sure I still have his full financial support or do we seperate so he can go off and find the sex he craves? I am at my wits end! I am sick of being critisized for getting startled and not wanting to be touched when it hurts. I so much feel like I should let him go, but I'm afraid of the logistical mess from doing that. Help!!!!!