HELP! How Do You Deal With Guilt?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by CarolK, Aug 14, 2003.

  1. CarolK

    CarolK New Member

    I seem to have such trouble dealing with feelings of guilt cause I can't do all the things I used to. Especially when it comes to cooking, cleaning and general tasks around the house. My husband comes home every day and although he doesn't say anything, he has this look of "so what did you do all day".... he works hard and I try to do as much as I can to keep up our home and make nice meals for him. He is a good man and while he doesn't understand alot about FM/CFS he is supportive.

    Sometimes I just get in my car and go "hide" somewhere just so I can be away from my house and rest... I'm afraid one of my kids will come in and see me on the couch, or resting somewhere else. I just need some input as to how I can deal with the guilt.... any suggestions. CarolK
  2. Mtnflower

    Mtnflower New Member

    Why should you feel guilt for having a disease, syndrome, whatever you want to call it. You did nothing to cause this. Should someone feel guilt for having diabetes or cancer? So your house isn't as clean as it used to be. In the scheme of life, how important is that? You still have a lot of good things to give to the world. Nobody should feel guilt for listening to what your body is telling you.

    As far as your husband is concerned you have to help educate him. Give him material to read or get him to join you at this site and read for himself. It's not his fault if he doesn't understand if nobody has told him. I have a very supportive husband but he had a lot to learn.

    Good luck,
  3. ekobus

    ekobus New Member

    I have the same problem with my boyfriend. While he doesn't say anything he either pouts or ignores me with the look of the infamous "what did you do all day?". Frankly I don't feel guilty, I get kind of angry because sometimes it hurts, or sometimes I am so tired it takes all I have to do the dishes and clean up after our daughter. I don't run away physically most times, just emotionally. I know that the Wellbutrin I take has added a lot more energy...only problem is I do the things I have to and then I am in pain from doing them all.

    Hang in there. It's not your fault so you shouldn't feel guilty, you did nothing wrong.
  4. atrinigyal29

    atrinigyal29 New Member

    I tend to feel guilty myself. I live with my folks because I am not able to work right now because of this DD, and sometimes I feel like I'm a burden. But they are right. We shouldn't feel guilty for an illness that we have no control over. Thank goodness my parents are supportive and understanding. Maybe you and your husband can read books on fibro and how it affects people. Even reading some posts here will help your husband understand your illness more.
  5. Sunshyne1027

    Sunshyne1027 New Member

    Carrying guilt around for things you have no control over, like your health conditions and what you can do now vs. what you used to do.. Its a bunch of negative energy, stored away inside you that will eat away at you. It causes depression also. Don't hide the fact that you need rest and sleep. Communication with your family too is a good idea also.

    Do the best you can do. If you do the best you can do, then you are OK, no carrying guilt over it!

    Give YOU a break !!

  6. CarolK

    CarolK New Member

    Thanks to all of you for giving me some input about feeling guilty. I guess you all know the feeling of feeling worthless in your own world. I guess I really need to work on me and my own attitude to fight this "demon of guilt". I heard someone say once that it is your "who" not your "do" that is most important. Who I am, not what I do is what really matters!! Now if I could just get that to stick in my mind!

    Also I like the idea of better communication... I have a tendency to just curl up and disappear when I'm hurting... but reading books and posts and articles on this site is an excellent idea. Thanks one and all.... CarolK
  7. CarolK

    CarolK New Member

    Bump... anyone else have idea's. CarolK
  8. BraidieBunch

    BraidieBunch New Member

    I too, felt the same way...why can't I do more? Whay can't I raise three boys, a step daughter with major issues, keep a full time job...the list goes on...
    Then I got smart...I divorced my guilt. He's getting served on Monday!!!!
    Love, peace and chicken grease! braidie