HELP!! I have to work with this DD and I have kids in school

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by SweetT, Oct 17, 2006.

  1. SweetT

    SweetT New Member

    Does anyone have any tips on how I can explain to school officials that I have a disabling condition and I'm a single parent mom who uses borrowed energy just to go to work, and I do not have the energy to expend to attend 7pm Parent-Teacher conferences or Open Houses, making my way through crowds?

    My oldest is struggling with the first year of high school in certain subjects and her counselor's answer is for me to attend one of the 10-minute, open (no invitation required) conferences to be held this evening.

    10-minutes, with 1,000 parents (literally) is not sufficient. Plus I cannot make my way through that crowd. When I went to the orientation, it nearly killed me, fighting through thousands of parents and students. Furthermore, there's no way either a resolution can be achieved, or privacy maintained, in a lunchroom or gym with thousands of other parents waiting in line and hearing my daughters' struggles.

    How can I explain that I am a good Mom, but I cannot run to the school afterwork, unless it's for a definite resolution that requires my signature, or if it's at a time where the school is not filled with both parents and students?

    Another thing that bothers me about both of my childrens' schools is that they have no elevators and for the youngest, her middle school's main office is on the second level, which means you have to climb steps to sign her in and out. You don't know how many times I have wanted to tell the office person buzzing me in that they'll have to meet me outside to check my id (to make sure I'm her Mom or someone authorized to pick her up, etc.), when I have to pick her up early for doctor's appointments.
    [This Message was Edited on 10/17/2006]
  2. sisland

    sisland New Member

    I went through this for years when My Girls were in School! I Hear you and Feel your Pain! Luckiley they were all Good students, and sometimes i would just call the school office and leave a Message for the Teachers that Had them in their classes,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,That if their were any Problems to contact me at Home! And Let them Know you Have a Physical Disability and can't attend the Parent Teachers Conferences,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,The School officials were very Good about understanding! Thank Goodness!

    I Felt so bad over the years That i Missed so much of their school concerts and other stuff! But i did make it to a Few things! I'm pretty sure you can conduct Conferences by Phone if need be!,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Good Luck!,,,,,,S
  3. leubie

    leubie New Member

    Hey-------- my name is Laura-------------I understand EXACTLY how you feel-----------you wont believe this--------------------I just hung up the phone w/ my sons counsler!!!!!!!!!!!!! he is also in the 10th grade!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please explain to the school Pricipal,counslers and the teachers-----------just what you have said here---------------Also see if you could stay in contact w/ the teachers through email------------------thats what my sons school suggested for me------------the teachers would prefer-------------insed of phone calls!!!!!!!!!!!!--------Please stay in touch and let me know how everthing is------------I hope you are feeing better--------------Have you ever heard of provigil???????????It really helped with my energy levels---------------Ask your doctor about it---------Ive heard mixed results---------but it has really helped me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!LOVE TO ALL---------LAURA
  4. SweetT

    SweetT New Member

    My daughter is in 9th grade and it is her first year of high school. Yes, she's a good student also, but this first year of high school is really socking it to her.

    For my area, middle school is grade 6 to 8 and high school starts at grade 10. But my boyfriend's son, who is also in grade 9, is in Junior High as the high school doesn't start until grade 10.

    It really all depends upon your school district, etc.

    I did send an email to the counselor. I hope that my daughter doesn't have my condition taken out on her grades.

    Yes, I've heard good things about Provigil. But I'm really concerned about weight gain, which is why I've been staying away from all prescription medication. I really don't want to be 200 pounds and I'm only 5 feet 2 inches. [This Message was Edited on 10/17/2006]
  5. jenni4736

    jenni4736 New Member

    Many of my daughters teachers are willing to communicate through e-mail. In fact, many of them PREFER IT!

    I know the councelor is a different situation, but you really should tell the councelor that you are physically UNABLE to attend. Not only would it help to understand you, it would help her to understand that challenges your daughter faces so she is able to communicate with the councelor openly.

    My daughter is a fairly good student and she doesn't get into to trouble. However, sometimes when I am really sick, she gets VERY emotional and has difficulty coping with normal life stuff. I have Lupus on top of the FM and we have a family friend that has it as well. She is in a wheel chair and my daughter constantly worries about me ending up like her.

    It took a long time for me to understand how much my illness effected her. It was a difficult place to go as a parent, but we talk openly about things. I refuse to lie to her and tell her that I will be fine and I will never need a wheel chair, because the truth is, some day I might. But we stay positive and talk about things even to the teachers and school administrators.

    Maybe smetime you could schedule an appointment during the day ( just not during a passing period). Or maybe they would be willing to communicate via e-mail. I would get the councelors e-mail address and write her directly to explain. You don't have to tell everything just tell her you are physically unable.

    [This Message was Edited on 10/17/2006]
  6. SweetT

    SweetT New Member

    No educator can seem to understand how you are disabled but you are working full-time, not on Social Security, but cannot make it to a conference anywhere from 6-8pm. If they know nothing of CFIDS or Fibro, it's useless trying to explain your limitations.
    [This Message was Edited on 10/18/2006]

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