Help.....in the pits.

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Holly_RN, Nov 18, 2002.

  1. Holly_RN

    Holly_RN New Member

    Hi,
    I guess I really just need to vent, so here it goes...
    I went to the Dr. today who has been seeing me for this damn shoulder impingement. Now I have put off for a year going to see ANYONE about this pain in my shoulder, but it has gotten unbearable. So, this is my 3rd visit. I have been doing Physical Therapy like I'm supposed to, and I got my third cortisone shot into the joint today. (Ouch) So, he approached me again, with doing the Orthroscopic procedure of going in an cleaning out the joint. He said since, the PT isn't helping, and he does't see much improvement, that is what he wants to do. Duhhhhh, He IS a surgeon I guess. Anyway, since the last time I saw him, my Mom was dx with malignant tumors on her kidneys, and is scheduled for surgery Dec 10th. I have very little to no time that I can take off, and I will have to take that with her. (Had to take time off in May for Gallbladder removal)
    I told him that, and he got really, really mad. He slammed my chart shut, and told me to come back when I DECIDED I WANTED THE SURGERY. I begged for at least the continuation of Physical therapy, and he said "I guess in theory, you can go, but it's not going to change anything." and he also canceled the small amount of Vicoden, he was giving me so at least I could sleep, when it got real bad. I wasn't abusing it. I only used it when I couldn't stand it anymore, or after Physical Therapy.
    So, let me get this right. I'm not ABLE to do the surgery right now, so it's OK to stop everything. Do I have the same amount of pain, if not more? Yes. What is wrong with these people? Am I being blind here, and if so, please tell me, because I really feel angry. Maybe, I don't have a right too. I guess I also feel hurt. Once, again, the system has failed me. I just want to cry. Maybe, I will.
    If anyone out there has any ideas on how to help with this shoulder thing, please let me know. I really don't know how I'm going to keep going. I am a nurse, and it's not easy, doing my job with a bum shoulder.
    Thanks for listening, if you've gotten this far.
    With Friendship,
    ~Holly_RN~
  2. Holly_RN

    Holly_RN New Member

    Hi,
    I guess I really just need to vent, so here it goes...
    I went to the Dr. today who has been seeing me for this damn shoulder impingement. Now I have put off for a year going to see ANYONE about this pain in my shoulder, but it has gotten unbearable. So, this is my 3rd visit. I have been doing Physical Therapy like I'm supposed to, and I got my third cortisone shot into the joint today. (Ouch) So, he approached me again, with doing the Orthroscopic procedure of going in an cleaning out the joint. He said since, the PT isn't helping, and he does't see much improvement, that is what he wants to do. Duhhhhh, He IS a surgeon I guess. Anyway, since the last time I saw him, my Mom was dx with malignant tumors on her kidneys, and is scheduled for surgery Dec 10th. I have very little to no time that I can take off, and I will have to take that with her. (Had to take time off in May for Gallbladder removal)
    I told him that, and he got really, really mad. He slammed my chart shut, and told me to come back when I DECIDED I WANTED THE SURGERY. I begged for at least the continuation of Physical therapy, and he said "I guess in theory, you can go, but it's not going to change anything." and he also canceled the small amount of Vicoden, he was giving me so at least I could sleep, when it got real bad. I wasn't abusing it. I only used it when I couldn't stand it anymore, or after Physical Therapy.
    So, let me get this right. I'm not ABLE to do the surgery right now, so it's OK to stop everything. Do I have the same amount of pain, if not more? Yes. What is wrong with these people? Am I being blind here, and if so, please tell me, because I really feel angry. Maybe, I don't have a right too. I guess I also feel hurt. Once, again, the system has failed me. I just want to cry. Maybe, I will.
    If anyone out there has any ideas on how to help with this shoulder thing, please let me know. I really don't know how I'm going to keep going. I am a nurse, and it's not easy, doing my job with a bum shoulder.
    Thanks for listening, if you've gotten this far.
    With Friendship,
    ~Holly_RN~
  3. kadywill

    kadywill New Member

    as a nurse, you know as much as I do about all of this and as a fellow sufferer, you are in the same boat as I am, but I know how you are feeling~~I have been there for years. Don't envy me for what this doc did. Yes, I got this pain med., but I don't have a clue as to how Dave and I can make a house and truck payment and LIVE at all with just my Short-term disability payments. We didn't plan for this problem. I just prayed I could continue working. We cannot afford this, believe me. As for the meds, Madwolf said that I COULD still work legally while taking opiods, but my place of work says, "Oh no you can't!" I guess other places of employment could always be an option someday, but I am just too damn old to be job-hopping and with my fibro-fog, I doubt I could pass the entrance tests that're making new hires take!
    As far as the shoulder pain, I KNOW about this, too, and I have most of my problem because of the position I sleep in. No matter what I try to do, I always end up on my right shoulder and wake up with pain and coldness in my arm and hand. I know this is nothing compared to yours, but it is enough to make me empathize fully with you. The injections are just band-aids for the problem, in a way, but if you cannot be out with your Mom AND your own surgery, well, I KNOW you would choose your Mom anyday. Can you attempt to talk to this jerk of a doctor when he is calmer? Can you try to see someone else? You need pain control and you aren't getting it. It is a right to be out of pain. I know you're frustrated, hurt, pissed and in pain, but you deserve to be pain-free. Another doctor that understands HAS to be around the corner~~it was for me. PLEASE sleep on this (if you can) and make some calls tomorrow. Can anyone at work advise you about local doctors other than the SOB you saw? Anyone should understand the dilema you're in with your mother right now. As a single mom, you have to protect your job. Do you have short-term disability taken out of your check? What about the Family Medical Leave Act??????????? I applied for this today, too. You definitely would be eligible for this with all you have going on. Sleep on it and make those calls.
    I love you and I'd give anything to be able to help. Keep in touch and let me know.
    Love,
    Kady
  4. kay

    kay New Member

    that you have been treated so rudely. I think I would look for another doctor. Some are so heartless. I mean if he slammed my chart closed, I would have told him, a few things! I do NOT tollerate rude people at all. We are sick enough and dont need the added stress, and especially from a doctor who is suppose to help us not stress us out! You take care and be there for your mom and do what you have to do, not what your doctor wants, you to do. When the time is right you will know. Do you have a pc whom can get you a percription, for your meds? LINDA
  5. Stormy214

    Stormy214 New Member

    I feel so bad for the position you are in--the way they treat us!--and I don't know if my personal experience will help you at all, because one of my best friends is an attorney whom I can speak to without it costing me $200 per hour....but I have found that, when dealing with the medical profession, that when they throw attitude at you if you say, calmly, "I see I can't discuss this with you, so I guess you'll be hearing from my attorney," it works wonders (words of wisdom from my free attorney). It forces them to calm down, and they are then more willing to discuss options. Since my friend told me to say that, I have never had it progress to the point where he DID need to do anything. The docs settled back and started "negotiating," if that is the word I'm looking for. I truly don't know if your doc is susceptible to that kind of pressure, but I think it's worth a try.
    Stormy
  6. Holly_RN

    Holly_RN New Member

    Holly.... 11/18/02 04:21 PM

    as a nurse, you know as much as I do about all of this and as a fellow sufferer, you are in the same boat as I am, but I know how you are feeling~~I have been there for years. Don't envy me for what this doc did. Yes, I got this pain med., but I don't have a clue as to how Dave and I can make a house and truck payment and LIVE at all with just my Short-term disability payments. We didn't plan for this problem. I just prayed I could continue working. We cannot afford this, believe me. As for the meds, Madwolf said that I COULD still work legally while taking opiods, but my place of work says, "Oh no you can't!" I guess other places of employment could always be an option someday, but I am just too damn old to be job-hopping and with my fibro-fog, I doubt I could pass the entrance tests that're making new hires take!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Kady,
    I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to think anything, like you were lucky!?! I know, that your career, and the money you get from it is difficult to let go of....I was just having a really bad moment. I wasn't using the Vicoden, except after work,and during off hours...PT. but I was toughing it through,the other hours, coming home, ending up in a ball of pain and spasm. :-( Sucks. I didn't mean it to sound, like you get to be lazy, and having a vacation ro somethin. LOL I guess,I just wish there were more understanding Dr/employers/people in general....but I DO think you do know that, and that YOU are one of them.(the ones that understand)
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    As far as the shoulder pain, I KNOW about this, too, and I have most of my problem because of the position I sleep in. No matter what I try to do, I always end up on my right shoulder and wake up with pain and coldness in my arm and hand. I know this is nothing compared to yours, but it is enough to make me empathize fully with you. The injections are just band-aids for the problem, in a way, but if you cannot be out with your Mom AND your own surgery, well, I KNOW you would choose your Mom anyday. Can you attempt to talk to this jerk of a doctor when he is calmer? Can you try to see someone else? You need pain control and you aren't getting it. It is a right to be out of pain. I know you're frustrated, hurt, pissed and in pain, but you deserve to be pain-free. Another doctor that understands HAS to be around the corner~~it was for me. PLEASE sleep on this (if you can) and make some calls tomorrow. Can anyone at work advise you about local doctors other than the SOB you saw? Anyone should understand the dilema you're in with your mother right now. As a single mom, you have to protect your job. Do you have short-term disability taken out of your check? What about the Family Medical Leave Act??????????? I applied for this today, too. You definitely would be eligible for this with all you have going on. Sleep on it and make those calls.
    I love you and I'd give anything to be able to help. Keep in touch and let me know.
    Love,
    Kady
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Kady, your letter meant more than anything to me tonight. I've been wanting to have a good cry about the whole thing all day, and when I read your letter, the tears just came. Thank You for your warmth, and your friendship. Sometimes, being the single Mom, and all, I forget, I get to be a person with feelings too. Not having someone to share it with, I tend to just bottle things up...(My 13 year old doesn't want to hear it LOL) So, I really wanted to thank you, from the bottom of my Heart. I guess i just wanted someone to HEAR ME.
    I will sleep on it, and weigh things a bit. I am sort of caught up in my Mom's stuff right now too. I'm trying to set up for her to recieve out Patient Dialysis, for after her surgery. (sigh) I guess sleep is what I really need. Tomorrow is another day. Right?
    With friendship,
    ~Holly_RN~

    [This Message was Edited on 11/18/2002]
  7. Holly_RN

    Holly_RN New Member

    Sorry 11/18/02 04:25 PM

    that you have been treated so rudely. I think I would look for another doctor. Some are so heartless. I mean if he slammed my chart closed, I would have told him, a few things! I do NOT tollerate rude people at all. We are sick enough and dont need the added stress, and especially from a doctor who is suppose to help us not stress us out! You take care and be there for your mom and do what you have to do, not what your doctor wants, you to do. When the time is right you will know. Do you have a pc whom can get you a percription, for your meds? LINDA
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Linda,
    Thanks for your understanding....boy, I can sure use it tonight. I guess for the most part, I was in shock. Usually, I don't take to being treated this way well, either. I think, I am going to do what Kady suggested, and sleep on it. Your right....right now, My Mom has to come first. She can't wait to get this cancer out. My arm won't fall off, although it may feel like it. LOL I will try my own Physican, or look for someone else. I am going to do more Physical therapy, even though the idiot assured me it wouldn't help. I'm just a little leary without the pain meds. (sigh) We'll see. It helps to have people that understand. Thanks for the kind words tonight. They really helped.
    With Friendship,
    ~Holly_RN_


    stormy214
    (22)

    My sympathies...l. 11/18/02 04:29 PM

    I feel so bad for the position you are in--the way they treat us!--and I don't know if my personal experience will help you at all, because one of my best friends is an attorney whom I can speak to without it costing me $200 per hour....but I have found that, when dealing with the medical profession, that when they throw attitude at you if you say, calmly, "I see I can't discuss this with you, so I guess you'll be hearing from my attorney," it works wonders (words of wisdom from my free attorney). It forces them to calm down, and they are then more willing to discuss options. Since my friend told me to say that, I have never had it progress to the point where he DID need to do anything. The docs settled back and started "negotiating," if that is the word I'm looking for. I truly don't know if your doc is susceptible to that kind of pressure, but I think it's worth a try.
    Stormy
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Stormy,
    What you say might be worth something. I doubt this guy cares a hoot though. He is mainly in the practice of surgery, and has tons more where I came from. Isn't it wonderful to become just a mere statistic?
    Actually, I do have a personal attorney, whom I still see re: my Auto accident one year ago. It would be nice, if they would settle now. Maybe, I could take the time off without pay, recover AND take care of my Mom. Dream on! LOL
    Thanks for your care and concern. It really helps to know people care about you.
    We are all in this together, aren't we?
    With friendship,
    ~Holly_RN~



  8. MsJoey

    MsJoey New Member

    read of things like this happening. But we all know they do. Whatever happened to "First do no harm..." You are one of the sweetest, most compassionate, hard-working people on this board, and to think of you being abused in that manner makes me so angry. Here you are trying to hold on and now with helping your Mom too, and THIS is what you get?! I'd fire that guy. The next one has GOT to be far better. I don't post very often but when someone is kicking one of "ours" I just have to jump in there. You've helped others so many countless times with your wonderful posts. I hope things will go better for you. I will be thinking of you. Please keep us posted. Jo
  9. phenom

    phenom New Member

    might not be helpful - but when i get really down, i watch a funny movie (if i can stay awake to see the ending its a bonus!) to just forget about my problems for an hour or so can sometime help me enormously!! As with your doctors - woah! i don't think i can say anything everyone else hasn't said. good luck with it all.

    phenom
  10. queenbee69

    queenbee69 New Member

    Reading your post touched me......Its 5:00am here and I myself am waiting to go see my Dr. today about possible surgery. It's been over a month since first seeing him, and I'm not any closer to an answer. Until today! I have had all I can take. My pain is so bad that it's starting to affect every aspect of my life. I've had enough! I just might get arrested. LOL....I will be thinking of you and you situation when I go today,I am so pissed for you that it can only help me in my attempt for my answers. Lots of HUGS and Love going your way! Keep us posted please! queenbee
  11. Holly_RN

    Holly_RN New Member

    Hi Guys,
    Thank You all for your kind words.
    They mean so much. It helps to know I'm not alone in all of this. It certainly feels that way sometimes.(As it does for all fo us, I'm certain)
    Jo, you are so sweet to say what you did. That really touched me. Phenom...you're right, sometimes, it's laugh or cry. This time, I had a good cry,and it's been along time coming, but it didn't feel too bad I just have to reember to kee oe foot in front of the other, and move forward. Queenbee, Sweetie, good luck at the Dr.s, and I hope things go well for you there today. None of this is easy for any of us. You will be in my prayers today.
    I guess, I'm off to work now. I WILL be going to PT (whether it helps or not), and I am going to call my own Doc about meds today. Once, he gave me some Ultram. Maybe he will again. Thank you all for your love and friendship.
    With friendship,
    ~Holly_RN~
  12. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    You probably also know that orthopods have some of the biggest egos in the medical arena. The bigger the ego, usually, the better the surgeon, but this guy is over the top. Find a physiatrist who can help not only with the PT but also with the pain or just see a pain specialist and explain the situation. Good luck.

    When someone treats us badly, we often get so upset that we fail to realize we have all kinds of options out there. These guys work for us. Despite what some of them think, they are not God. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and take another path. Good luck.

    Love, Mikie
  13. tedebear

    tedebear New Member

    a pain management MD. Sometimes they can eliviate the pain, although temporary but relief even if for the interim and you don't have to suffer. I love my doc. Of the 7 doctors I see, he is my #1 because he takes the edge off the pain. If I don't have a lot of pain I can move a little more freely and function instead of lying around all the time. Just a suggestion.
    Soft hugs. Take care.