help me please

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by sixtyslady, Apr 10, 2006.

  1. sixtyslady

    sixtyslady Member

    i have to go to the Dr tomorrow? which scares the crap out of me to begin with. so I"m going because of this extreme weakness I"ve been having . I had EBV about ten yrs ago and also fibro.they thought I had CFS. now can the Dr see if my EBV has kicked back up .I don"t want to go to this guy without some informed Question for him because hes a real jerk but I have to go to him because of my husbands Ins.I know he,s not go to be very nice to me because the last time I was there I didn"t agree with him.so if ya"all could give me some well inform question maybe he"ll listen to me. Thanks so much, Hugs sixtyslady.
  2. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    Sixtyslady:

    How about saying to him: 'I desperately need your help because......and I am relying on you to use your expertise to please help me feel better.'

    At least it is an opening and I would not go in thinking he is a 'jerk'. He might pick up on your feelings about him.
    Positive thoughts. He just might help you. If not: the heck with him and go outside your network and pay somebody who will listen.

    Good luck.

    n.f.
  3. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    i MAKE A page of notes, double line spacing.

    Set down the relevant symptoms.

    Say, "I think it would be helpful for you to read this, rather than have me explain"

    I list as so: SYMPTOM ONSET SEVERITY CHRONIC / FLARE hEADACHE 1994 2 x wk. #9 no yes

    Sorry this is not lining up the headache would go under symptom, onset would have 1994 severity 2x week etc.
    I find that this is easy for the doctor to glance down at and see at a glance. I highlight the worse symptoms with yellow highlighter.

    I hope this helps. I know you are going through it. I wanted to ask, I get weakness especially in my left arm, when I feel so weak (fatigued wise), I know you also have the neck thing going on. Do your arms feel like lead and not exactly aching but weird heaviness?

    Anyway, I have found the above list format the best to use as they will not read longer notes. Good luck. Also words like, I have heard so many good things about your ability to help people like me, will sometimes work, though I tried that with the doc of a client of mine and he told me not to patronize him.

    Let us know. Love Anne C
    [This Message was Edited on 04/10/2006]
  4. Pianowoman

    Pianowoman New Member

    This is a 2 way relationship so you each have to listen to each other. If you go in thinking he's a jerk, that will influence the whole visit and you may be disappointed. Try to start out on a positive note; be very clear about your symptoms, when they started, what helps and doesn't help etc.
    Certainly, ask your questions about EBV and be open to his answers. I hope all this helps.

    Kathy.
  5. sixtyslady

    sixtyslady Member

    thanks for the ideas I"m trying to make a list now.hope I don"t over do it.
    I do have alot of pain in my arms.mostly in my elbows and wrist.they really don"t feel heavy.but my legs on the other hand feel like they have weights in them when I'm Fatique.My right hand had stabbing pains in it all last night,thats one of the reasons I didn" get much sleep.plus I have night sweats all night long. I"ve been through the change for 9 yrs now so I know its not that and they do seem different than hot flashes.Its such a beautiful day here iits in the 70;s and my son just got a new job today I"m so happy for him hes a good kid for 21 yrs old hes really got is head on straight.he went to school for heating and cooling. and finally landed a job in that field.It well be so good for him to get out of the factory he was working in for the last two yrs. Have a good one. Sixtyslady
  6. mme_curie68

    mme_curie68 New Member

    Don't let him intimidate you. Remember that YOU are paying him to be there for you, not the other way around.

    The more specific, concrete information you can bring in with you, the better off you are. That will give him information to work with.

    If he becomes rude, gently ask if he would treat his mother or his sister the way he is treating you, or would he prefer to recommend another physician - since the two of you haven't been able to find common ground? A lot of these people get away with such gruff demeanors because nobody ever calls them on it. To heck with that!

    Docs get frustrated, have bad days, have the same type of stuff going on in their lives just like the rest of us. But it's part of their job to interact with a lot of different people on a daily basis. Those that have good interpersonal skills will attract a loyal following for their entire careers.

    Those that don't shouldn't be working in the field, but a doctor's "people skills" weren't something that were stressed in medical school curriculums until the last couple of decades, when they started taking med. students out of the classroom and putting them in clinic their first year of medical school so they could start learning how to treat their patients as a person and not just a disease or condition.

    Anyhow, the mother/sister question is a good one because it makes them consider you as a person and not just a chart.

    Good Luck,
    Hugs,
    Madame Curie
  7. sixtyslady

    sixtyslady Member

    thanks for your advice. it helps to remember their no different than us .and also maybe he would refer me to a diffent Dr, I don"t think he likes it because my husband goes in with me. but it helps me because my hubby will remember things that the Dr says that I don"t.I had a very good Dr who diliver all my babys and litter went through my Divorce with me.helped me through my last childs birth when I was forty yrs old and my second husband and I were already raising 7 children. He was just a friend, and I"ve never found a Dr that I could feel comfortable with since he retired.and I"ve had to deal with many of them our oldest daughter had heart surgery when she was 15, my husband was burned over 50% of his body in1989. our third daughter had invasive cancer before she was thirty.not to mention dealing with our parents Dr before they passed on. they just don"t make Drs who feel part of their community like it use to be. All our DRs come from bigger citys and most of them hate being here in these small towns. I had a Dr tell me we where just to country fid out here and there is nothing to do here. I was selling real estate at the time so I ask him why he didn"t work in a bigger clinic he didn"t have answer. my guess ,that was his only offer. But any how I"m going to try and do my best to be positive and if I don"t feel like I"am getting treated right I just try to find another Dr. but it will probably have to be at least 60 miles from here.they really kind of have us over a barrel out here there"s only 2 clinics here so not much to choose from. and Dr nice has already informed me he really doesn"t believe so much in Fibro, because after all I"m not as young as I used to be.thats what he told me the last time i was there. SIxtyslady
  8. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    you have been on my mind re yesterday's apt. I wonder how it went for you.

    Yes, people keep telling me it is age related, but they forget I have had this for years!!!


    Post a new reply to let us know how it went. Maybe you did I'll go and look.


    Love Anne-meant to be warm here today, in 60's I think. DH is polishing up his golf clubs. Fortunately, here it is $1 a hole to play.