help! my dad is a neat freak!!!!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Shannonsparkles, Jan 1, 2006.

  1. Shannonsparkles

    Shannonsparkles New Member

    Having a couple of people over tonight, which I nearly never can do. They know I'm not well, so they said don't make a fuss, just have a regular day and forget we're comming.

    Dad's into a class-5 freak out: The house isn't clean!!!! He's even ragging on rooms my friends will never see! Are we having the house inspectors over or something??!! Are they bringing a checklist??!!

    So his stress is splashing on to me, and I'm starting to feel crummy, worn-out, edgy... Like, he doesn't HAVE to do any of this stuff! He doesn't have to clean a thing, doesn't have to care. My brothers and I did what really needed to be done in five minutes earlier today. So now he's on my case for not helping him turn over the place like a hummingbird on steroids.

    Just need to vent about him. He's so tightly wound sometimes.
  2. JLH

    JLH New Member

    Oh, Shannon, dear, I feel for you. My older daughter is married to a neat freak and he is just about to kill her and their two sons.

    In fact, one of these days, I just might strangle him!!!

    He makes it hard for anyone to live with him in harmony.

    He really needs to chill out, but at his age he is too old to change. If he sleeps on a water bed, perhaps we could fill it up with ice cubes!!!! LOL

    We keep telling our daughter that if her freaked-out hubby doesn't lay off the boys, they will not have anything to do with him when they get older. He thinks 8 and 10 year old boys are going to keep a spotless room! They are not allowed to breathe in their home--because it might get dust on something! He is just looney!!! He is the same was about their cars.

    You are old enough that you can pretty much ignore your dad, or at least tune him out, when it comes to this stuff. If your house looks good enough for YOU, and YOU won't be embarrassed when YOUR friends come, then don't worry about it -- and HE shouldn't worry about it.

    My grandsons look at their dad all of the time and tell him to just CHILL!!!

    Hope your life is easier than theirs!

  3. darude

    darude New Member

    It's hard enough for us to have people over at all without worrying about the house being clean. They are coming to see you not the house. IGNORE and enjoy your visit. He should be happy you are having someone over. ENJOY ENJOY. LET US KNOW how your visit went. Have fun.
  4. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    Well we parents sometimes look at things differently and most will when they get older also.

    Is everyone doing their fair share of keeping things some what presentable? You said you and your brothers. Well if only 2 brothers and you....each do 10 to 20 ,mimutes a day....that is one half hr. to a full hr. of cleaning up. Lots can be done during that time. Put on music with a fast beat that helps us move fast.
    I do not go to peoples homes to see their houses, and more so if they do not feel good. I would rather enjoy their company/ If invited to dinner I would rather have hot dogs and a hostest that is up to enjoying the visit then one that is wore out by preparing a big meal and cleaning all day!

    My hubby and I went out of state to visit his sister and just for the day. We had a nice meal in her formal diningroom and all then was cleared and dishes stacked and foods put away. I offered to help with dishes and she said NO.......we do not get to see each other that much...lets pour ourselfs some iced tea and sit and talk.

    Her hubbu became concerned about the dishes not being done and he was going to do them. She told him to sit down and enjoy all and forget them. He is a real darling really. She then said something I have never forgotten......

    Bill, I own the dishes......they do not own me...Sit!!

    I think that is a great Motto to live by...we laughed and talked for a long time then and remembered back on things, etc. That was far more important than the dishes to her!
  5. libra55

    libra55 New Member

    Why can't there be a balance? My husband is just the opposite of your dad! He's the messiest, most disorganized human being on the planet. Plus he scribbles on the walls. Never mind use a piece of paper. Just write on the walls. I would leave but have no place to go.

    He is a pack rat, has saved each and every one of his toys from childhood, machines from the various businesses he worked for over the years, every scrap of paper, he is a perpetual student and has saved every diploma and certificate he ever earned. I can't put anything into our closet any more, he has clothes he hasn't fit into for 20 yrs. I share closet with my daughter.

    He throws his clothes all over, wont use hamper. He is always asking me where things are when he looses them and then it is "my fault" as I must of thrown it out or misplaced it. If I talk to him about cleaning up the house he flies into a rage.

    Now I know what you mean about neat freak, they are just as bad, his sister is one and when she comes to visit here of course the place is one holy mess, and she gives it the white glove treatment and again it is "Michelle's fault" because the place isn't spotless.

    The reason the sister is a neat freak is because there father was just like my husband - messy as h**l. That's where my husband most likely got this trait.

    I'd just like to see a guy who picks up after himself reasonably and isn't too anal if a few things are out of place. Does one exist?

    [This Message was Edited on 01/02/2006]
  6. darude

    darude New Member

    Thought about you last night! Hoping you had a nice relaxing visit!! Let us know how it went,

    Annie the Londoner.
    [This Message was Edited on 01/02/2006]