Help New sleepdeprived mommy need advice

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by phoebe1, Aug 8, 2008.

  1. phoebe1

    phoebe1 New Member

    I have a 9 day old baby, he is beautiful and I love him to bits but I feel like I don't have a clue what I'm doing.
    I am severely sleep-deprived and it is not helping the pain at all, plus I'm breast feeding so I can't take strong painkillers.
    My baby only sleeps for about 10-11 hrs in a 24 hr cycle, sometimes he is awake for 5 hrs straight. I don't know what to do or how to change it.
    I am trying to help him distinguish between day and night by not switching on the light for night feedings etc. It doesn't help to bath him just before bedtime either.
    Or should I just wait a while and let him make the rules for now?
    I usually feed him when he wakes up, then burp him and change his nappy, sometimes he wants to drink again (which I only do once I make sure he is really hungry), then I have to burp him again and change his nappy again, most times he spits up milk in which case I have to change his clothes, you can see how this becomes a vicious circle.
    He also seems overly windy to me, but then again I won't know since he is my first. It feels like I am rubbing out winds more than half the time!
    I'm very confused and worried that I'm doing what is right for him.

    Please help!
  2. greygodess

    greygodess New Member

    You're doing fine. When you breastfeed that is about all you do. My advice is to sleep when the baby sleeps. There are groups that help breastfeeding mothers. The Leleche (sp?) league is one of them. They can advise you on what to expect as a nursing mother. Godbless

  3. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    Hon, have a new baby, congratulations!!!

    Now....get some rest, when the baby does. You need to take care of yourself so you can have the strength to take care of the baby.

    Don't worry about lights for now, your baby is much too young to be developing any good habits just yet. This is just a cycle that continues for 24 hours a day when they're little like this.

    Don't worry about the's very normal...pretty much all new babies do is sleep, eat and poop. You'll get used to it and just when you do, something new will crop up to confuse you again.

    Just enjoy this precious time with your new little one....

    Congratulations hun,

    Nancy B

    STARSTAR New Member

    Being a first time mom is always over whelming at first but it will get easier.Once you and the baby get a routine down you are both comfortable with it will get better.
    Sleeping when the baby sleeps is a good idea or maybe having some one come and help you a bit so you can get a few more extra zzzz (sleep) if possible.
    Breast feed babies eat a lot more often every few hours as I remember. If the baby seems still hungry after eating make sure your milk is good.
    After I had my son, emergency c-section my milk didn't come in to well at first and I had to also give him a bottle.Talk to your doctor about this if you feel there is a problem.
    My doctor didn't want me to breast feed cause I was so weak after but i was determined so I did both. Watching what you eat so the baby doesn't get gassy off the foods you eat.
    Good luck and congrats!

  5. Juloo

    Juloo Member

    First, with a 9-day-old baby at home, YOU are still recovering from giving birth. My mother-in-law was still in the hospital when she had my husband!

    The other post was right -- you sleep when your baby sleeps. Other than getting enough nutrition in the both of you to function (and changing diapers as necessary), you should consider it your number ONE priority to rest. I breastfed my son as well, and it took us a little while to get that working right. One thing I wish I'd learned sooner was to BF lying down on my side. That way I could get my feet up more often. And if your son is nursing himself to sleep, that would be the time to scoop him up and set him in a bassinet next to you so that you can then go to sleep yourself.

    The first few weeks of parenthood turn your life upside-down. If you have a chance to have a friend come in and sit with your baby so that you can get a nap without thinking that you MUST be up, it is definitely worth it.

    Also, invest in some bibs or toss a cloth under his chin while he nurses, then if he burbs up milk, you can just toss the cloth in the laundry, rather than having to change him. You are also right about bathing -- sometimes it is best to bathe him at the *beginning* of the day OR the beginning of the awake cycle right before you'd like him to sleep the longest.

    You WILL work out a schedule that will be right for both of you, just please be patient with yourself. I can't tell you how many times I ended up putting my son in a seat on top of the clothes dryer so that he would be lulled to sleep!

    Don't worry if your baby wants to breastfeed a lot at this point. It is good for you that your milk will come in with the quantity your baby needs. And it helps get your feet up as often as possible.

    If you have a partner who can help, then let them. No, they can't breastfeed, but they should be able to pave the way with picking up trash and doing laundry and making sure you have clean dishes so that your job is your baby and yourself for now.

    Oh I wish I were there to help! I sure do remember those days!
    [This Message was Edited on 08/11/2008]
  6. texangal81

    texangal81 New Member

    Breast fed babies eat all the time. My daughter had terrible colic and the only relief she got was from nursing. So I pretty much nursed all the time! She never slept either.

    As exhausting as all this is, just remember that for 9 months, your son did as he pleased - slept when he wanted, played when he wanted, had food pumped into him 24/7, AND was always in the dark. Now someone has ripped him out of his cozy little room, into this BRIGHT LIGHT, his tummy isn't constantly fed, so he has to scream to get someone to listen, and he's probably thinking "this sucks". And I know after my daughter was born, I had my moments where I wanted to PUT her back so that I could be in control again.

    Exhaustion is terrible. The aforementioned daughter became a mommy of her own at 19 and presented me with this fabulous gift called a grandson. We've ALL helped raised him (my folks, me, her brother) and he'll be 3 next month. Do you have ANY help? What about daddy? Breast feeding is even more exhausting so will your son take a bottle of your milk? Unfortunately, my two kids wouldn't, but my nephew didn't care where the nipple came from as long as it had milk in it!

    Your doctor is the best to discuss pain meds with, but I nursed both my babies right through morphine, percodan, and vicodin because I had C-sections and very painful mastitis. Remember, you won't be good to anyone if you can't function, especially your precious son, so I suggest talking to your doctor about options.

    If you don't have a baby swing or one of those little baby bouncer thingies, GET ONE. My grandson alternated sleeping in those for 5 months. If worst comes to worst and you are just the walking dead, put the baby in his crib and go lay down. Yes, he might cry and fuss, but he will survive for 15-20 minutes. You will be amazed at how much that will help. As rough as it seems, it DOES pass and before you know it they are gifting you with grandbabies!

    Take care, Erin

  7. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    How wonderful that you have such a sweet and new little baby. Yes, I do kow how exhaustiong it ws too even if it was SO LONG AGO !! Now I have 8 grandchildren. I have 5 children, all grown and at that time where I lived the doctors did not push the breast feeding thing. They just gave you pills and shots to dry up your milk. Nowadays, it is the opposite.

    In some ways the breast feeding is harder on you but then you do not have to make formula either., Of course in those days you had to make the formula to and it all did not come in bottles or cans, at least with the first couple of babies I had. Yes, breast fed babies usually eat every 2-3 hours. I am sure you feel like they are all done and it is almost time to feed them again ! BTW, it seems like after they ate the had to pppo and so then you had to change them again. So, you never know.

    Yes, all the advice that these gals have given you are great. Sleep when baby sleep for one and a very big one. You need all the rest you can get. I believe in schedules but when they are tiny and being breastfed don't worry so about that. As they get older and on cereal and foods and drink more you can worry more about trying to keep on a schedule. However, sometimes too babies have their own schedule !!

    I just love little babies and loved it when I had mine. Do you have a pic that you could put on your bio? If not do not worry we will just think of how cute he is. BTW, I have 4 girls and then 1 boys. My eldest is 45 - aaack !! It seems like yesterday but just enjoy while you can because they grow up much to fast.

    Yes, a swing or a bouncy seat is probably a great idea for a bit of diversion and you may not have to be hold him so much after eating or if fusses in between meals.

    Good luck with you and your sweet little one. Oh, they grow to fast for sure and it almost does seems like yesterday. Things wil change as times go by and it will get easier !!

    Hugs and blessings,

    [This Message was Edited on 08/11/2008]
    [This Message was Edited on 08/11/2008]
  8. phoebe1

    phoebe1 New Member

    Thank you for all the advice! How I wish I could sleep when he sleeps, but I'm just one of those people who really struggles to sleep. I would lie on the bed for hours but not be able to fall asleep, it sucks, it would have made a huge difference if I could sleep during the day.
    Things are still rough, but I have tried to accept now that it's just normal, maybe I thought it was going to be easier.
    I have a kangaroo pouch which my husband carries him around in and he seems to like it.
    I have decided (despite being critized for it) to put him in a routine this weekend. I have a book from moms-on-call that guarantees them being in a routine if you follow their 3 day rule. It is going to be very difficult but I believe worthwhile in the end.
    I sometimes feel very weepy and will just sit and cry during the day, but I suppose that is part of baby blues and hormones that are still all over the place.
    I had a c-section and luckily my doc did give me painkillers but I must say that I feel guilty taking them.

    Thank you to everyone who replied, it helps to know that other people have gone through this and survived!