Help on where to turn

Discussion in 'Caregivers' started by chinassa, Oct 10, 2002.

  1. chinassa

    chinassa New Member

    does anybody know which agencies direct you when you are the caregiver of your father and he will not go to the dr and his organs are shutting down.Is thre anybody i can contact and get some info? He can no longer control himself and cares nothing about me having to try to care for him.
    I am sick myself and can not do this by myself.
    Chinassa
  2. Milo83

    Milo83 New Member

    I don't come on this board much, but decided to check it today..Sorry to hear about your father and yourself..
    Has your father been in the hospital lately..If so, you could get a social worker from the hospital to help you out..Did you try contacting his dr..My only other suggestion would be to contact your local agency on aging and they might be able to help point you in the right direction..
    **Just my opinion of what I would do: I would contact his Dr. first, if he is that bad right now, he might even admit him to hospital..If not, most drs are also willing to get you in touch with the right people..This is only from my own personal experience..
    I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help......
    Best Wishes to you and your father........Donna


    You definetly need help if you are not well yourself..Please get on the phone and start NOW, before your own health gets worse..You might be able to get someone in to help you out..Is your father that bad that he would be Nursing Home eligible..I tried to take care of my Mother at home, it almost destroyed me mentally and physcially..I know we hate to see our parents go to a nursing home or some type of faciltiy, but sometimes that is our only choice.......
    **Please let us know how you make out..........[This Message was Edited on 10/11/2002]
  3. chinassa

    chinassa New Member

    He doesn't have a dr,and won't go to see one.Won't work with me.I have got to call someone and ask them how to deal with him.
  4. Milo83

    Milo83 New Member

    If he is that sick, do you have family or friends that could help get him to an ER..That way they will check him out good, and most likely admit him and then you can take it from there..By any chance do you have POA for health care for your Dad..If he doesn't realize he is that sick, I would think you could make the decision for him to go get help..
    Best Wishes..........God bless..........Donna
    **Just trying to think of anything that could possibly help you here..Call an ambulance if you have to, to get him to a hospital..[This Message was Edited on 10/11/2002]
  5. chinassa

    chinassa New Member

    He again refused to go anywhere,so today i must do something i dont't want to but for his own helath and safety
    i have to contact the agency to determine how i can have him
    removed from my grandmother's home.(she is recovering from
    hip surgery at my aunt's house)
    I may have to go before the courts and get guardianship of him.I hope to find out today.
    Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers.I'll let you know
    what happens.
    Chinassa
  6. Milo83

    Milo83 New Member

    Just wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts & prayers..Best of Luck with your father..Please remember to try to get some rest for yourself....
    Take Care........Donna
  7. chinassa

    chinassa New Member

    Donna.I am waiting on a call now.SS is suppose to go visit him.I will let you know ehat happens.Please keep me and my
    family in your prayers.
    Chinassa
  8. chinassa

    chinassa New Member

    well the social services went to the house,he threw them out.She called me we talked.Said she'd call me the next day and it's been a week.SO much for that idea huh?
    Well he still has not taken a bath 10 weeks now.Has been drunk 2x.(seem to think this is part of the prob more so than his medical condition)
    My grandmother who owns the home does not want me to force him out of the house.
    OK so i am suppose to be the main caregiver but take her instructions.NOPE.So i guess since i am not his guardian,
    He's on his own and not my prob anymore.This might sound harsh but.
    when i ask him if he is going to take a bathe he says he's thinking about it.Well i'm thinking about if i will have any more to do with him.
    Thanks to all who have listened to me vent.
    I guess the only one that can talk to him is the Lord.
    Sometimes we get in the way i guess and they can't hit the brick wall and come to themselves.
    Chinassa
  9. Milo83

    Milo83 New Member

    Sorry to say this, but "YOU HAVE DONE ALL THAT YOU CAN", so I totally agree, you are just going to have to step down for now..I know it's hard, but what else can you do..You have medical issues of your own, so TRY to concentrate on yourself..May I ask, how old is your father..
    I can't even imagine someone that has not taken a bath or shower in 10 weeks..How does your grandmother stand it in the same house with him..
    **The only last option would be to call Social Services back yourself, and ask if anything can be done..But try not to get yourself in a panic over all of this..Once we have gone out of our way to try to help someone and they will not take our help, then I feel it's up to the dear Lord..
    Take Care.....Keep us posted.........Donna
  10. chinassa

    chinassa New Member

    Hi.My father is 66.My grandmother has not been there in the 10 weeks,as she broke her hip and she is at my aunt's home
    about 5 min from me.
    I just have to not go around him and pray he comes to himself.
    I mean how long can he stay in there and not get some kind of a bacterial staff or something?
    At least by me notifying Social Services he's on their
    records,so that is something.
    Thanks for your response and prayers.I think i may go talk to my grandmother's pastor and see if he can give me some input.
    Chinassa