Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by zenouchy, Sep 22, 2006.

  1. zenouchy

    zenouchy Member

    Hi All,

    Thanks so much for answering my post. I have found myself in an odd situation, and it's over something SO STUPID yet upsetting that I really appreciate you all being a sounding board.

    I just experienced a situation in which I was having heavy mid cycle bleeding. I contacted my OBY/GYN (whom I have seen for like 10 years). She was very helpful and responsive and told me to double up on my birth control pills for two weeks which meant taking 2 pills a day for two weeks instead of 1 pill a day. This was also during the placebo time.

    What this meant is that I went through more meds than usual and took an extra pill pack + 1 week's worth than usual. I told the nurse I would obviously need more birth control pills from my mail order pharmacy to cover the deficit. She said "of course, no problem". Well, apparently, this turned into a MAJOR PROBLEM! Without getting into too much detail because it will just get too confusing, my mail order pharmacy works sends meds 3 months at a time, so what happens is they would either have to send 6 pill paks for three months (which is a bit extra), or I would have to run very short.

    Well, my gyno and the nurse want me to run really short and risk running out of meds. Which is asinine. Because my mail order pharmacy could be late in mailing out the meds (it's happened before), OR I could bleed heavily again and need EXTRA AGAIN. I even called my mail order pharmacy and asked them what to do. They were very suprised that my doc would let me run so short.

    To make matters worse, my nurse apparently trying to fix the situation, said to come pick up some samples (seems nice), but when I went to the office (several miles away from my house), she didn't have any samples and said "Oh, we don't carry your brand of birth control in the office". So, she didn't even check and just tried to appease me and COMPLETELY WASTED MY TIME! She then told me "Dr. S (my gyno) thinks your being obsessive about the birth control. You're not going to run out." Like I'm making everything up. I went 15 miles out of my way round trip FOR NOTHING.

    I told yet again (!!) that I don't know why we're having a miscommunication, that I would be very close to running out, that my mail order pharmacy is set up a certain way, and she just kept patronizing me and basically treating me like I was about 7 years old. It was astoundingly insulting and infuriating. What do I have to gain by having extra birth control on hand except, gee, I might need it?

    I was shocked because I've seen this OB/GYN for about 10 years. It made the whole situation more bizarre. I don't know if this doc thinks if I had a little more birth control that I may delay having my annual exam (I just had one two months ago) for next year, but I would think she would know me BY NOW that I always have my annual exam on time (except once when I was sick).

    I would never have thought I would switch docs over a lack of meds, but they have treated me so rudely. I then went to my primary care doc almost in tears (because I felt so insulted!) practically begging for meds. His nurse was so sweet and said it shouldn't be a problem. How odd is that? I'm a stone's throw from switcing docs. I'm curious what you all think. Thank you so much for reading and for being a sounding board. Wishing you a healthy/happy day.

    Warm hugs,

  2. mosherpit

    mosherpit New Member

    I would definitley get a second opinion on why you are bleeding so heavy, have you had this problem before? Maybe an ultrasound or something to see why it was happening...
  3. zenouchy

    zenouchy Member

    My main question is: should I switch docs because they are blowing me off about the lack of meds thing and insulting me too?! Thank you so much for your response. A second opinion over that might be good too and is good food for thought. Warm hugs, Erika
  4. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    Your doc should do an exam to find out why you have this heavy bleeding. The treatment should be desided depending on the REASON. Does she already know why you are bleeding like this? Sounds irresponsible.

    Get a second opinion. It almost seems she doesn't remember what she did for whom, since she suddenly says "obcessing about birth control". Gee, give me a break.

    You need a new doc, they are not doing their job at this office.

    Many hugs
  5. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    Time to find a new doctor.
  6. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    Hi Erica -

    It sounds to me as if the nurse has a little ego thing going. I've seen it happen before where they control because they can. Quickly I add, not all! just a few but when it happens it's very hard on us.

    Since you're happy with the gyno in other ways and since you can get the meds you want through your PC doc, I'd let it go this once unless you feel the need for a second opinion which I wouldn't rule out. If you decide to stay where you are, you could discuss this with the doc at your next visit. Keep it easy on YOU. We. need. simple.

  7. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    I may be too tired to understand this but has your doc ever recommended taking 2 pills in one day before?

    It all sounds like just one big misunderstanding to me. Maybe some people don't realize how frustrating it is to receive your meds this way.

    I once got yelled at for not getting my Feldene through the military mail order pharmacy. I did...but, during the Christmas rush they lost my package. (Something always gets lost during this time of year)

    Then the replacement package was received empty....yep empty so I had to go to the pharmacy and beg.

    So....I'm not so sure I'd toss a doc with a 10 year history just because of a mistake/misunderstanding.

    If I were you I'd talk to them and give them one more chance. I make so many mistakes lately that I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, always have tried to do this.


    Nancy B
  8. zenouchy

    zenouchy Member

    Thank you all so much! Here I am thinking bigger problem is the way that the doc/nurse is insulting me over the meds (although this isn't good), and you all are giving so much more information in telling me that this gyno is also not handling the bleeding issue correctly. I really had no idea.

    She came highly recommended from a doc I used to go to (he retired) and really trusted. She's always rushed though, and that's not good. Thank you all for honing in on the bigger issue (the bleeding!), which I didn't even recognize. She's never had a good bedside manner, and I've always talked about it with other people who go to her. My "gut" just tells me it's time to try another doc. I've moved, so it takes 25 minutes to get there in heavy traffic. There are lots of docs literally 5 minutes away from me now.

    A close friend has recommended another OB/GYN that she loves and is right down the street from me (5 minutes!). I thought she was seeing someone about 30 miles away from me, but she must have switched, so I didn't think to ask her sooner. She had ovarian cancer 18 years ago, so she's VERY picky about ob/gyns. Another friend just recommended him too, so that's encouraging as well. I just called the new doc, and luckily, he takes my insurance AND he's available! Talk about lucky. We have to put so much faith in our docs, and because we have fibro and/or CFS, we have too many of them. OY!

    I thank every one of you who posted for being so helpful and taking the time to respond. I was really stressing and upset.

    Wishing you all much health and happiness,

    [This Message was Edited on 09/22/2006]
  9. zenouchy

    zenouchy Member


    What you have said is perfectly logical and makes total sense. But I can't ever speak to my doc! Aughh. It's so frustrating. Everything goes through the nurse. I find it really hard to believe that this is the first time that their office has ever come across a patient who uses a mail order pharmacy. And if so, they don't seem to have basic trust with me. And it's even more infuriatin that they don't trust me, the patient who has been their patient for 10 years!

    But I think they are too busy to see it that way. I don't think they are saying, hmmm, Erika has been with us for a long time. She has never tried to take extra drugs. I think they are too much of a hurry to consider that. I've tried to see it from their point of view, but I can't at all. All I can see from their point of view is that they are patronizing me and think I'm a little nuts. Since I KNOW I'm not, I think I've reached an impasse with them. I've discussed the med situation with them 3 times and we aren't reaching a solution. It's odd to consider switching docs over something such as medicine, but what I think has happened is that the situation is a sign of a bigger problem:

    *What I think it's come down to is that it's LACK OF LISTENING TO THE PATIENT. They simply aren't listening any more. Instead, they are PATRONIZING & INSULTING. AND, THE OFFICE IS TOO RUSHED. These are the bigger issues at play. It's time to try a new office and see if they will listen, treat me with respect and not rush so much. Two people have highly recommended a different ob/gyn right down the street. I told the receptionist at the new office the problem with getting meds and being insulted, and she had a strong reaction that I was treated improperly and said that the new doc would never handle the situation like that. Thanks for letting me vent. It was just a shock after being there for such a long time. *Sometimes things change and ya just never know when it will happen.

    Warm hugs, Erika
  10. CrystalRose

    CrystalRose New Member

    The Doctor Patient relationship needs to go both ways. They need to believe in you and you need to have faith in them. Find a new doc who believes in you and has compassion and understanding. I finally did and now after several duds, I have a winner. Good luck!
  11. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    Just have to tell you. Is this typical or what??

    I saw this post and thought it said Should I Switch Dogs? As a dog lover I had to know the details....

    And I posted on this thread this morning!

  12. zenouchy

    zenouchy Member

    Thank you crystal for your words of wisdom. I think I got "tricked" so to speak because this doc WAS helpful for a long time. This is an important lesson for me and hopefully others to learn that docs can change over time and lose their edge, become too rushed or just forget that patients are human. I think that's what happened here.

    Usually docs become nicer after you've built a relationship with them and not the opposite. Her practice has become way too busy, it takes way too long to get an appt with her and so she's forgetting the so-called little things (which really aren't so little)- like gee someone may need meds. And she really didn't explain why I had heavy mid cycle bleeding. She probably doesn't realize how much more rushed she's become year after year. But it's not acceptable anymore. The more I've thought about it and the more you all have been a great sounding board, the better I feel trying a new doctor that's been highly recommended and whom will hopefully have a fresher approach. His website says that he emphasizes patient education and patient involvement, so that's encouraging!

    Thanks again!

    Erika :)
  13. Slayadragon

    Slayadragon New Member

    I checked your bio because I was afraid you lived in Illinois. OB/GYN's here are fleeing the state or retiring at age 32 (or becoming h.s. science teachers) because liability insurance is so high. Trying to get in to see one is a major endeavor. I have a good one, but he does seem preoccupied. I don't think that his inability to fix my current vaginal infection is due to this, but it couldn't be helping.

    If you have the choice through insurance and there are options available, I would say always use the best OB/GYN you can find. The best doctor of all kinds, but especially OB/GYN. "Female troubles" get kind of short shrift in terms of research, and so your doctor kind of needs to be especially smart and able to think in order to figure out the right things to do. In general, M.D.'s are very good at memorizing, but thinking for themselves is sometimes another matter.

    Office staff and nurses have way too much power these days. The only way I've ever gotten what I need from them is to be super-sweet and nice and apologetic for taking up their time. Arguing never has gotten me anywhere, no matter how right I have been or how urgent the problem. I'm know they're really underpaid (although how that can be when healthcare costs are so high boggles the mind), but there must be other issues going on here too.

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