Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by getridof, Sep 8, 2006.

  1. getridof

    getridof New Member

    Dear everyone,
    I wish you would add a few words (just a few would be enough I guess...) in your prayer and pray for me. Recently I'm not OK. The feeling of helpless keeps disturbing me terribly. My mind always criticizes for many things and people. It never happened before. My life seems to maintain in this way forever.
    I do pray a lot. My friend told me "God's answer could be meeting our
    requests, or altering our mind to the original problems". But I can say neither of them happens. And i truly know what HELPLESS means this time. I always think I pray in a wrong way. So I would like to ask sincerely for your help. Happiness/Joy is almost impossible and luxurious to me, so I just want to have a short, very short moment of calm and peace. I have to say that again, I'm not asking for happiness or any practical thing. Just a 5-10 minutes calm and peace.

    Thank you everyone. Wish everyone well.
  2. Asatrump

    Asatrump New Member

    I think I could have written your same words a year or so ago. Yes, I realize God helped me, but he also guided me to an anti depressant my body will tolerate. That small pill has changed my life. Physically I am not changed, but my perception of life has.

    Maybe you already take something for depression. My husband had the attitude, what did I have to be depressed about? It is not something that you can suddenly grit your teeth and say "I will not be depressed any more". I try to think of it like diabetes and taking insulin. The sugar has to be balanced. Same with the serotonin in our brains.

    Sir, and this time I do recall you are male..... I pray that you can achieve some inner calm, and that the helpless feeling will go away.

    As for your criticizing, don't think about that, I could have been a critic of everything from music to house cleaning and where things are placed in my way in a grocery store.

    But with the help of this drug I maintain a better quality of life. Notice I didn't mention any physical miracles, but I do not see everything as dark, black and hopeless.

    Father I ask you to help this man, to guide his spirit, and to offer him relief.
  3. getridof

    getridof New Member

    Dear Asatrump,

    Thank you for your prayer. In fact I don't take any pill for the moment.
    I think the most important thing I worry is if I get worse and worse, at the end I'll build thick walls around me. That means even if people offer me constructive and supportive ideas, I'll interpret them in a negative way. And then I'll ignore everything and put myself inside those "walls" and feep blaming myself or the world. this is such an ugly and foolish scene.

    And I feel sorry to admit my faith in God almost becomes a burden. Every time I pray I feel shameful because I know I got too many questions/complaints inside my heart.

    I'm weak, the more I discover myself, the weaker I become. This is just an unbelievable sadness. Yes Asatrump, maybe you're right. I may re-consider to buy Zoloft.
  4. windblade

    windblade Active Member

    I can really relate to a lot of what you are saying! I have had post-traumatic-stress-disorder for most of my life.

    There is a constant battle with anxiety, depression, helpless feelings, on and on.

    I'm thinking over when you said you pray in a wrong way. It says in the Bible (I forget where) that God is near to the brokenhearted. He is very close and especially loving to all who are suffering. So I don't think that it's possible for you to pray in a bad or wrong way.

    It has helped me a lot to bring my anger, fears, sorrows to God. He can handle it all. In fact it is safest to share all the struggles in our minds with him.

    Many people don't understand how horrible it is to experience emotional or psychological sufferings, but God knows the extra sufferings that we carry.

    He doesn't blame us for any of our damaged states of mind. In fact he is more tender towards us in understanding our great struggles.

    I have great weaknesses in my life too with these constant emotional roller coasters and how they affect my life. But actually that, as strange as it may sound, can be a hidden asset.

    We can rely more on him - just like people with other great needs do.

    He understands if we have more anxiety, because we have anxiety disorders.:) This isn't a fault - just an illness. It's really important to know that he loves us as we are.

    We only come to believe this little by little, but we can grow in this awareness. His gifts, his grace to us can seep through all the other things we experience.

    But I understand how hard it is! God gives us A LOT of credit just for surviving all this.

    Asatrump wrote to you about medications. I take 3 now - one that lessens my depression, one for anxiety, and Neorontin which is good for overstimulation of the brain and nervous system.

    If it's possible for you to take an AD or Klonopin for anxiety, it would be a really good idea, because it would lessen all of your symptoms, and make life easier.

    Hoping to hear from you again,
  5. myalgiamania

    myalgiamania New Member

    I want to pray for you today, but before i do i have to ask if you painted that picture thats on your information page? it's beautiful. also, you say you are depressed, do you ever feel anxiety? i used to have it so bad that it nearly ruined my life. it was so overwhelming that i suffered insomnia, phobeas, extreme fear and many other terrible feelings. i was only 16 when it started, and knowone was there to help me. i prayed and prayed, but nothing helped me. i began to find ways of helping myself but it took a long time. it's hard to remember exactly how it happened, but one day as i was praying, the Holy Spirit came in to my life. without having the Holy
    Spirit in your life, prayers are only words without true feeling. it takes time for the Holy Spirit to come into our lives, i don't know why but i know people have waited a long time.

    i have some suggestions:

    1. for better mental health and nerve control, you might need something for anxiety. I take ativan, or the generic lorazapam. i'm not sure what to take for depression because nothing has ever worked for me. i find exercise, prayer, sleep, and comedy work well for me. also talking to a phycologist. my son was suffering from depression and joined a Christian youth group. they have changed his life. we belong to the Vineyard community church. it's nondenominational. it is the most outgoing and sincere church i have ever seen. no phonies, just real people. no strange ideas or rules, just true love for Jesus and a fantastic pastor that relates the Bible to our everyday life. you wouldn't even think he was a pastor if you saw him on the street.

    2. if you surround your life with true Christians, you can't help but feel good. everyone takes care of everyone else. my son has more true fun than most teenagers i have seen. they do great things together, and they do wonderful things to help people. it is a blessing that we found this church 2 years ago.

    i pray Dear Lord Jesus, that You lay Your loving hands on our friend getridof, he is alone without you, so may you enter his life through the Holy Spirit.
    Please guide him in his search for him to find some good people to find happiness and fun.
    give him strength, guidance and love, and show him how to enjoy life.
    i ask you to Bless him today and make this day a new start for an exciting future with You and Your People.
    In Jesus Name...Amen
  6. getridof

    getridof New Member

    Dear Myalgiamania and Windblade,

    Thank you so much for all the kind words and warm prayers. I love to read the messages from every member here to me. Although it might take time to digest (because I'm in a state of confusion and sadness). To me it's really unbelievable to experience God at the moment.

    This might be the idea from God (I'm not sure). Usually I don't watch TV on Sunday Morning. Today (Sunday, Hong Kong Time 9:00am) I turned on the TV and there was a program showing in the local TV called "Hour of Power (or Time of Power???I forgot). I'm not sure you might watch that before. It's talking about how people prayed in a wrong way, and how to deal with low self esteem. I felt it's pretty close to my situation. I don't go to church. And this program gave me a feeling of attending a worship.

    I guess I have to seek a way to be surrounded by positive people as well. I made a quick list of people I know in my mind, and I found they're all negative. I do have a friend who is really positive but he's not by my side, he's working in London.

    Again thanks for your prayers, I can see/feel that works.
  7. Asatrump

    Asatrump New Member

    Dear Get Rid of:

    Walls, blocking people out, hiding, pain, negativity, dark thoughts.... I think that probably matches most of us here. Also weakness . We are not here because we are strong, we are here because we need to lean on each other.

    I don't believe I know either on computer or in person, a really strong person. Once you get to know people, we are all frail, all needy. God did not make us perfect.

    You need a place to start. I don't think I am the oldest on the worship board, but at 62 I have been around this block a few times.

    I reached a point where my sleep was nearly non existant. I couldn't deal with even the simple things in every day life. I wore my blue chenille bath robe 24 hours a day. I didn't cook, I couldn't get to the grocery store. I hit raw bottom.

    Then I narrowed my life down to one doctor, and left him to unravel the pieces. Just a general practioner, and I still stick with him, although there are faults and problems.

    It took him about nine months, and a lot of tests... GI , MRI, endoscopy, colonoscopy and I can't recall how many blood tests.

    He started with my husband. Yes, you read that correctly. I was getting no sleep between pain and his snoring and dancing feet all night long. Each time I mentioned to him I couldn't sleep with his snoring... he said merely that his snoring/snorting didn't bother him a bit, that he slept fine.

    He still didn't agree to sleep in another room. My grown son finally said, dad , cut mom a break.

    That was a start. But the next MD visit he said I was severely sleep deprived still. Google sleep deprivation and see how many symptoms sound familiar.

    It took changes in meds, meds that aggraved the IBS and the ulcer. Nearly a life on the bottom.

    I take a sleeping pill, Ambien, every single night. With it I take valium, soma and bp meds. My doctor is not liking it. BUT, it works for me and he dare not mess with any measure of success I have had.

    I am talking too much about me. I talk to you so that you may benefit from what I have already been through.

    None of us are a tower of strength, physically, morally, ehtically or religiously. We are all frail. We all reach out.

    Now I have more strength to reach out to others, because physically I am some better than I was.

    Maybe another warrior here can make better sense out of what I am saying.

    Basically I am saying, get yourself on an anti depressant, and sleep meds if you need them. Your brain chemistries are out of whack leaving you unable to deal with daily life. If you had diabetes, you would be willing to test your sugar daily and medicate/eat appropriately.

    What we have is more complicated to medicate than diabetes. We too need medications to control seratonin levels.

    Phew. Sorry. There are people here who could explain this so much better than I can. I think some of your problems could be helped with meds. There, that sums it up. Start with meds, and some of the rest will fall into place.

    How can you have peace, and pure faith when you feel horrible? I don't think you can.

    Please other folks... jump in and help me out here. But I saw the other replies also indicated they thought meds would help.

    If this in any way sounds like a lecture I surely apologize. I am a weak person in every respect, but I am stronger than I was.

    I have decided not to proof read this, because if I do I know I will simply hit delete. I have a way of saying things too many times, and not always being tactful or correct. For this I apologize in advance. Nuff said from old Asatrump.
  8. myalgiamania

    myalgiamania New Member

    you forgot to answer my question, did you draw that picture on your bio info page?

    I'm glad i could be of some help.

    Let me make this simple for you...where do you live?
    are there Christian groups there?

    try to find one or a nondenominational church. if you give me your city, i'll try to look one up for you.

    i'll also check out some web sites, but you need to be around positive people. and being with people you already know, may not work...i think you would benefit from a totally new and encouraging group of honest, caring

    I am praying for you..God Bless!
  9. getridof

    getridof New Member

    Yesterday I felt a little bit relieved. That might sound stupid or weird, I caught a cold/flu yesterday, I was so tired and I had to soend all my time to deal with the sudden pain on my neck, my waist, my limbs (I guess they're all cold/flu symptoms). Then I had no time to think of negative stuffs or fear. You know, I felt OK. Finally the warp thoughts left me for a day.

    Dear Asatrump, I love to read your post. It's really helpful. You think it sounds like lecture? I want this lecture, OK? If you can talk to me more often in this way I would be deeply appreciated.

    Dear Myalgiamania, oh yes, I did the drawing myself. It's a little bit childish, right? And you know, I think one day, I'll attend the church again. But for the moment, I'm sorry to say I'm not "mentally" ready. Hope this day will come shortly. thanks for your prayer.

    Dear Grg1988, I'm so touched to read your prayers for me. I always feel wonderful to have prayers directly to me only. I can still remember when I was young, I was at church and listened to those prayers. They were all to the others. I had no experience to listen a prayer that's just to me. So I cherish that a lot. Thank you.[This Message was Edited on 09/11/2006]
  10. getridof

    getridof New Member

    dear Littlebluestem,

    I'm not sure if we got book clubs here, sounds new to me. i'll go to find if there's any. And thanks alot for the useful information as well. Have a good day.
    PS: The horses in your profile pic look energetic and full of hope, I wish i could have this kind of character.
  11. kgangel

    kgangel New Member


    I am so sorry this is happening to you, It seeems to happen to me quite a bit too. My mind wanders and I can not get out of it.

    I will be praying for you and hoping things will be better for you soon

    May God Bless you
    and may he give you his peace


  12. getridof

    getridof New Member

    Dear Kgangel,

    Thank you for your prayer. I'll pray for you and every member as well. Everyone has different difficulties. And I know some even don't say a word about their nightmare. So I'll pray for everyone (hope that works, as I mentioned my faith is getting weak for the moment. )

    Have a good day
  13. myalgiamania

    myalgiamania New Member

    the reason i wanted to know if you painted that picture is that you should be so very proud of the wonderful talent that you have. it is very good! i have drawn in the past and my boys do too.

    well you should do more and sell them. maybe even make greeting cards. sometimes businesses let you put work in places like restaurants, offices, etc. for decoration but also to sell. think of how exciting that would be.

    my prayer for you today is...
    Dear Lord, You have given our friend a great talent...
    help him to find the courage to show the world his ideas...let him know that he should not be selfish and keep all of his good work to!
    Lord, thank you for sharing him with all of us and may this day give him Your light to become strong in his Jesus Name Amen!

    this picture is new...i also saw the one you did of the boy under water...Great Stuff![This Message was Edited on 09/11/2006]
  14. tlayne

    tlayne Member

    that i am so happy and proud of each one of you who have responded so honestly, and lovingly to getridof! What a family we have here!

    getridof, honey please see all this love for you and accept it. God does send his servants to reach out, and to give his love to his hurting children. Please see all of these heartfelt responses as God's love and understanding reaching out to you! Our Jesus loves you so much, and his servants here on this board do too! Love,Tam

    P.S. I love your latest drawing! I always see in each of your drawings the light is there and getting closer!
  15. getridof

    getridof New Member

    Dearest everyone,

    I don't remember how/why I came to this board, but thank God (I really thank him this time), i start learning and gaining help based on Christianity from here. I was born and raised in a Christian family. but due to some reasons I left my religion. And now I realise although I'm a grown up (i'm 37 now) but my faith is at the kid level. And I'm lucky to learn from you guys. I also feel the actual love, care and support from here. I might be wrong or you might not believe, as I know I never heard any supportive comments from the people I know. Perhaps I'm greedy.

    And also the most important thing I learnt here is, I start to pray for you guys. I mean everyone even i don't reply to their posts. So I would like to express my gratitude to God and you guys. That really makes changes in my life.

    I'm still far away to be a normal Christian according to Bible's standard. I still have to work hard on that. So if you don't mind, please keep praying for me.
  16. morningsonshine

    morningsonshine New Member

    Hi, you've had so many good answers, i can't even read them all.

    Just want to send you a BLessing in the name of Jesus!

    Read your bible, and rememeber we have an enemy who wants you to believe alsort of lies that don't line up with the truth of God's word.

    He loves you with an everlasting love! He didn't send His Son to die on the cross for you only to abandon you.

    If you believe you belong to Him, you are a much beloved child of God.

  17. getridof

    getridof New Member

    Dear Morningonshine,
    I'll keep what you wrote in my mind. Thank you for your blessing.
    PS; Look at the cat in your profile pic, he/she looks curious of something.
  18. caffey

    caffey New Member

    Father I just ask in Jesus Name that You please bring peace to GetFRidOf right now. Please stop the voices and all the noises that are in his/her head. Please help him/her to hear Your voice and Your voice alone. Please help him/him to know that he/sh is unconditionally loved by YOu and that he/she doesn't have to do anything to earn it or to pray a certain way. Please bring some people to her who will love her/him and support him/her. in this trying time. In Jesus Name Amen. Try and read a few of the Psalms. They are so comforting and put on some nice Christian music. Sending you a gentle hug {{{{ }}}}.
  19. windblade

    windblade Active Member

    Just saw your new picture - that is SO COOL. And it looks like you're getting unstuck from a tight enclosed space, almost to the outside. You really are talented.

    Thank you for your prayers - I have PTSD as well as CFS. I deal with a lot of anxiety, and negative thoughts also.

    That was a good insight you had that your faith might still be at a kid's level, from when you were last in church.

    So, what an adventure you have before you!

    Dear God, please bless your precious son getridof with your powerful and tender love. Thank you that you are involved in his life now, and that we can rely on you.
    Please teach him about you, and thank you that he found his way here! In Jesus' Name, Amen

    Love, Judy