Here I am, whining again :o(

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by diggity, Oct 20, 2002.

  1. diggity

    diggity New Member

    Hi all, I haven't posted here in a little while. I've been lurking, reading a lot but I hate hate hate to always sound as though I'm always whining. This fibro stuff is working on me in a big way. I'm hurting all the time, it seems that there aren't just flares anymore, it's just a continuous thing. This has been an especially hard few weeks. Last Wednesday a dear friend and inspiration to me was killed in a car wreck. She was a young mother with 2 small children a girl 4, and a boy 1. She was on her way to church and crossed the center line crashing head on with another car. I am devastated, I will miss her smile and her strength. Also my daughter 13, came home the same day telling me that her friend from school, also 13, had run away from home leaving a sucicide note. She said she was tired of being picked on and made fun of and was going to put a stop to it. It was a very long 2 days before we got any more info on her. She did come home, I don't know if she lost her courage or never intended to actually kill herself, but she ended up spending a couple of days in the woods. We are thankful that whatever the reason, she didn't go through with it. I am finding it very hard to know the right words to say to my daughter about this incident. Children shouldn't have to face the desperate realities of life at such a young age. I am trying to help her be compassionate about her friends state of mind, yet teach her that thisis not a solution. It's a very hard subject to tackle with one so young. There are so many things that seem to be attacking our family at this time, I have felt the desire myself to run away. I take Zoloft for depression but I ran out of it about 3 weeks ago and since I have been out of work for so long and my husband just went back after his surgery, we are struggling to just stay afloat financially, so I didn't feel I had the money to get the Zoloft refilled. HUGE mistake. I now know that it is vital for me to have that medication. Without it I am a complete basketcase. I am hoping to be able to get the Rx refilled tomorrow, then maybe I can begin to be human again. I'm sorry for such a long post, I just felt the need to talk, if only to a monitor. Thanks for taking the time to read and listen to me whine again.
  2. diggity

    diggity New Member

    Hi all, I haven't posted here in a little while. I've been lurking, reading a lot but I hate hate hate to always sound as though I'm always whining. This fibro stuff is working on me in a big way. I'm hurting all the time, it seems that there aren't just flares anymore, it's just a continuous thing. This has been an especially hard few weeks. Last Wednesday a dear friend and inspiration to me was killed in a car wreck. She was a young mother with 2 small children a girl 4, and a boy 1. She was on her way to church and crossed the center line crashing head on with another car. I am devastated, I will miss her smile and her strength. Also my daughter 13, came home the same day telling me that her friend from school, also 13, had run away from home leaving a sucicide note. She said she was tired of being picked on and made fun of and was going to put a stop to it. It was a very long 2 days before we got any more info on her. She did come home, I don't know if she lost her courage or never intended to actually kill herself, but she ended up spending a couple of days in the woods. We are thankful that whatever the reason, she didn't go through with it. I am finding it very hard to know the right words to say to my daughter about this incident. Children shouldn't have to face the desperate realities of life at such a young age. I am trying to help her be compassionate about her friends state of mind, yet teach her that thisis not a solution. It's a very hard subject to tackle with one so young. There are so many things that seem to be attacking our family at this time, I have felt the desire myself to run away. I take Zoloft for depression but I ran out of it about 3 weeks ago and since I have been out of work for so long and my husband just went back after his surgery, we are struggling to just stay afloat financially, so I didn't feel I had the money to get the Zoloft refilled. HUGE mistake. I now know that it is vital for me to have that medication. Without it I am a complete basketcase. I am hoping to be able to get the Rx refilled tomorrow, then maybe I can begin to be human again. I'm sorry for such a long post, I just felt the need to talk, if only to a monitor. Thanks for taking the time to read and listen to me whine again.
  3. bubblegum

    bubblegum New Member

    I am so sorry for your loss... I wish I had words of wisdom to help you with your daughter. I agree with you about running away. Sometimes I think everyone would be better off if I wasn';t here. But then I bring myself back to reality and stop thinking of such nonsense. Have you tried asking your doctor for some samples of Zoloft? Alot of times the drug companies give the doctors samples for them to pass out. If he has some or something similar I am sure he will give them to you. You hang in there diggity, and don't ever hesitate to use this board to vent or as you say "whine" cause that's what we are here for. To give each other support and a shoulder to lean on.
    Ciao 4 now
    Sandy
  4. marinemom

    marinemom New Member

    As you can tell, by reading down the posts, I AM THE QUEEN OF WHINNING! Don't be afraid.

    I too, went through an experience like that. My oldest son was 11 when his dad committed suicide. We had been seperated and divorced for 10 years and he never saw him, but still it was hard. His problem was drugs, so that made my answers a little easier. Just let your daughter know that you are there to talk. And answer all her questions, even if you have to say "I don't know". That's all they need at this time.

    Oh, right before his father did this, his cousin a year older did the same thing. We've had a lot of talks about suicide. Even went through some "pros" if you will, which after we discussed them, he realized there were none.

    Hugs
    Kathy
  5. Scoobsmom

    Scoobsmom New Member

    Prayers will be sent up for your loss and for all that you have had to face recently. It does help to vent and to share what is on your heart..it is not whining. Gentle tender hugs your way..BARB
  6. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    The sudden loss of a friend or loved one can really devastate us and cause our illnesses to flare drastically. Call you doc and see if he or she has some samples of the Zoloft. It's dangerous to go off anti-depressants. Bless you.

    Love, Mikie
  7. LynneH

    LynneH New Member

    It's no wonder you are hurting worse. Emotional stress is a biggie for us. Hope you can get back on your Zoloft.
    I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I understand as I have had a couple of good friends who have passed on.
    About your daughter...I remember as a child, I heard a statement and I've always remembered it...."Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."
    Take care.
    LynneH
  8. ladydi

    ladydi New Member

    Dear Diggity,
    I do wish you well, but I can't think of anything that
    has'nt already been said.

    I think you are missing all the activities you use to be
    involved in. That can cause alot of Grief.

    I,m still trying to work through the grief and anger of
    not being my normal self. But I do keep praying to God that
    one day he will take the FM/CFS away.

    Hope you can find a way to get your Zoloft. I'll certainly be hoping for that for you.


    We will all be remembering you and your daughter at
    this crisis time.

    Warm Fibro-Hugs Diggity
    LadyDi
  9. DebraP

    DebraP New Member

    Hi Diggity,

    You're not whining! First, get that out of your mind. We're all here to help and support one another!

    Be sure to contact your doctor about the zoloft. Drug companies give doctors "complimentary" bottles of medication (usually 30 day supply) to give to patients who cannot afford them. In addition, many drug companies have sponsorship programs where they will send you your medication directly (with doctor supervision and prescription, of course) for little or no cost. Of course, it's all based on financial need.

    Seriously, there are ways of getting your medication! I used to work for a neurologist and I signed people in need up for these programs on a daily basis! The programs are out there. The best place to start is with your doctor or the nurse at the office! They can get you going in the right direction!

    Hugs. Debra
  10. momoffour

    momoffour New Member

    Hi,
    I like others here will be the first to say I wish there was something I could say or do.. If you don't mind I will say a prayer for you..
    But my heart greives for her children so much. I will try to not begin my weeping, but I have to say I do, I weep for you and the others..

    We just don't know what tommorrow holds for us,Maybe joy or laughter. But as long as the sun comes up for us there is a tommorrow.

    Thank you for reaching out to all of us.Whinning is not something you do.. It is just asking for help untill you find strength to get you though what your going through.

    In my thoughts,
    momoffour Cynthia
  11. sofy

    sofy New Member

    D, I have no words to fill the void from the loss of your friend. At the risk of being trite I do believe that we don't go away but do change form. The hard part for us is accepting and learning how to live with that change. For now the pain of loss, most likely, will smother most all feelings. When the shock of loss has lessened I hope you will again be able to take comfort in her comforting smile. If you let it it can always be there for you to draw on and be warmed by at your will.
    For your daughter and her friend I hope her recent act will be looked on as a opening door to find the help she needs. I had a friend who for 20 years had been treated for pcos. Science now knows that the problem is often insulin resistance. She finally got a correct diag. and was so bummed out. I told her I thought it was wonderful news because this was the root cause and was something she could control and manage. Once she saw it like I did she turned 180 and became godzilla master of her health. Power can be mighty in the hands of some. I tell her she is dangerous and thank God she is only in control of herself because most of us couldn't march so precisely to her tune. At 13 it is hard to understand that you do and can be in control of your life and the acts of others don't have to rule you. My thoughts will be with her.
  12. diggity

    diggity New Member

    thank you all for rezponding to my "vvhining" pozt. That'z one of the thingz about thiz illnezz that makez me crazy, I have alvvayz been a very ztrong perzon and a non complainer, novv it zeemz that hurting all the time like I do iz turning me into a "vvhiner", at leazt in my eyez. Thankz alzo for telling me that it izn't vvhining (although I called it that, I hate to be thought of in that vvay). I try very hard to ztay pozitive, but there are timez, like the lazt fevv vveekz that it'z avvfully hard to find anything to be pozitive about. That'z the good thing about thiz board though, during timez like thiz, there iz alvvayz zomeone to zympathize and help uz back to our feet.

    if ya'll vvill bear vvith me, I promize to get to the ztore and replace thiz poor ole keyboard in a fevv dayz. In the meantime, it'z kind of interezting to try and figure out hovv to get a thought acrozz uzing thiz poor ole zick thing. LOL
  13. sofy

    sofy New Member

    I vote for your keyboard being a keeper. You are certainly getting double duty for mental stimulation and makes for a lot more fun reading your posts. Fun is important. I've always thought of myself a super woman too. Told the md at my last visit "I'm becoming one of those awful whiney women" I want to be strong a self sufficient but those aren't the cards I've been getting lately. It's hard to accept, I know.