hi help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'General Health & Wellness' started by elli.m, Jan 9, 2009.

  1. elli.m

    elli.m New Member

    im in a pickle and dont know wat to do.ive been suffering with depression 4 da past 7 yrs. and hav been of meds. against doctors advice for the past twelves weeks.i hate taking them and only do under duress,i usually stop end up in crisis am carted of to hospital for a few months and forced to take meds.i ve been working with a councillor who has supported me not taking them.ive been trying to work my way through things logically.but ive hit a wall and am feeling crap again .nothing i do makes a difference.i cant go bac to the psyciatrist because all they want me to do is take meds.i feel know id be better of dead .ive tried ending it many times before .my last od was in october.i so want to take all the meds. i have it would make things so uncomplicated.realistically id rather be dead then live with this.i have no life and things are never gonna get better.i thought the counselling would help me fix things so i could put this all behind me and start living the life i never had.but its not working i ll never be free.no body can understand my reluctence to take the meds.part of it is my family they dont agree with them.im afraid im gonna be dragged of to hospital again .ive spent too much time there against my will.if i tell them how i feel thats what will happen.i know the meds do help .they hav done wen ive been made take them but i dont want to live with this illness, i cant. i want to fix it or end it thats the promise i made myself.no one has to live my life i do.i cant do it anymore.i fear i hav at last reached the end.what is life but our journey towards death .isnt that all we have to look forward to ,isnt that for each of us our ultimate fate .im just speeding up the process.maybe thats why god gave me such a shit life because this is what im meant to do this is how its suppose to end.i get to choose the end something most people dont get i am taking charge in something that is out of my control.is there another solution ?another answer that i hav some how not seen?i dont know maybe someone out there has an answer??
  2. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the board. Lots of nice people here to talk to.

    If you don't want to use meds and therapy, there are some other avenues that might help, like
    Vitamin D3.

    Read my profile and see if there is anything you would like to try. Just click on my name above.
    If it doesn't work, try later. The board is going thru a period of redesign. Has a few problems
    now and then.

    Good luck

    Rock
  3. therealmadscientist

    therealmadscientist New Member

    Feeling a bit hypomanic perhaps?! I notice you just joined board today......maybe check out the Depression Board. Also, the live chit chat board.

    The Depression board has some good, caring people, and "experiences". Also, some really interesting and good suggestions on different ways to fight "it". Some solutions have worked. Everyone is different....and may have to try several things.

    I wish I could somehow bring instant calmness, and a hug, to you. Please check out the depression board.........and please call someone, or a hot line, if, if,........

    I wish you feeling better soon, your mr Bill
  4. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    As the mad scientist mentioned hypmanic, I'll mention bipolar. There are some ailments, including different extents of bipolar, that require medication and the disease itself makes you feel so good on the meds that you take yourself off them. Then you crash and burn and at times end up in the hospital and need to go back on the meds. If you are bipolar, I strongly suggest you get on a strictly bipolar support board to help you understand. There are three bipolars boards on www.mdjunction.com you have to join and it is free, and I am not biplar, but some people I know that are bipolar are on that board and swear by it as a board that has good information and lots of help. Their boards are Bipolar, Bipolar in the Family and Bipolar II.

    Other than that, I suggest you get together with your doctor because SI is absolutely not an option. When you bug out early, it puts your depression and pain onto others and leaves the really hard stuff to the friends and loved ones like handling all your requests as to your belongings, landlord, your body, services and all other things that those people never really wanted to do. And it leaves those behind with guilt, remorse and so much that you never realized or intended them to feel for perhaps the rest of their lives. So SI is completely out.

    Get treatment and get going with trying to get a semi-normal life and you do it for yourself and for all those friends and loved ones around you. Many hugs.

  5. sadsmurf

    sadsmurf New Member

    Sweetie, depression is just like alot of other diseases, you need the meds...maybe for the rest of your life. I suggest you talk to your doctor and find meds that leave you feeling normal not drugged. There are millions of people who take these meds. I take them and I tried about 5 before I found the one who left me "normal". I know how you feel but think of it this way, if you found out you had cancer and meds would save you if you took them the rest of your life ...you would gladly take them right? Well depression can kill you quicker than cancer so take the meds get a low dose and take them everyday for the rest of your hopefully very long life. Love to you sweeite!!!
  6. roseoo1

    roseoo1 New Member

    HELLO THERE MY ROSE AND I READ YOUR PROFILE AND I,M GOING TO TRY SOME OF THE THING YOU HAVE ON THERE BUT ABOUT THE T.V. THAT I DID NOT UNDERSTAND IF YOU CAN GET BACK TO ME,I TOO DID NOT THINK I WAS DEPRESS AND I DID,NT THINK I NEEDED ANY MEDS.BUT I FIND MYSELF CRYING ALLLLLLL THE TIME AND I DO MEAN ALL THE TIME AS LONG AS I,M ALONE I START TO CRY,I CAN HAVE COMPANY BUT AS SOON AS THEY LEAVE I START TO CRY AND THEN ALSO WHY I,M SO AFRAID TO BE ALONE WHEN I,M AT HOME I,M JUST LOOKING AT THE WINDOW LOOKING AT THE CARS PASSING BY BUT I USE TO NOT BE THAT WAY AND I DON,T UNDERSTAND WHY NOW,I CAN BE DRIVING AND I START TO CRY BUT AS SOON AS I,M WITH PEOPLE I GET MYSELF TOGETHER SO THEY WON,T SEEM ME BUT AT TIME I TELL THEM HOW I FEEL AND THEY SAY THAT THINGS WELL GET BETTER BUT SOME SAY THAT ALL I NEED IS SEX THEY MAKE A JOKE ABOUT IT AND THAT HURT ME,EVEN NOW AS I,M HERE WRITING YOU I,M CRYING I WISH I COULD JUST HAVE SOMEONE HEAR ME AND I,M TO AFRAID TO GO TALK TO SOMEONE CUZ I DON,T WANT THEM TO TRY TAKE MY GIRLS AWAY FROM ME, AND AT TIME I DON,T FEEL ANY LOVE FROM MY OWN KIDS, MAYBE YOU CAN HELP ME.
  7. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    Rose, please don't leave your phone numbers on internet online boards. Actually people can't put their phone numbers here and it's for a very good reason--to protect everyone. You leave yourself open to crank calls and bad calls from people who like nothing more than to harm others, and I certainly wouldn't want to see you getting hurt. So please don't leave your phone number on any online boards any more as it's how you can get hurt. And I can tell you're very vulnerable and you don't need to have some idiot messing around with you by phone.

    What you can do is call the local Mental Health Society and ask them about the depression groups that meet locally and find out the one that meets closest to you. Then go to that meeting and keep going to each meeting. It will get you out of the house, but you will also meet people who are suffering with depression like you. I go to the local group and the people are wonderful. They distribute materials about helping yourself with depression, they have speakers from time to time, and at each meeting we discuss what is happening with each of us and they are not judgmental.

    If you find yourself crying all the time and are afraid of losing your children, your depression has gone deep and you really need some help to get you on your feet. See a psychiatrist for a diagnosis and be completely honest as to how you feel (or print out your posts here). Then together determine whether you need medication and therapy, outpatient treatment at a center or therapy alone. But the key to it all is that you have to reach out for the help and then stay with it, keep taking any medication, be truthful with the doctors, and keep all appointments. Over on the Depression Board you'll find those that have been helped, but it all starts with you reaching out to help yourself. You've found that your friends don't help, but please reach out and get that help and go to the local Depression Group meetings. Good luck and hugs.

    [This Message was Edited on 01/29/2009]