hello board. i am new. i have suffered with severe chronic depression for years. i have been on and off medication. usally i'll get it perscribed, i'll take it for a little while, then i'll lazy or mad about having to take pills to be "happy" or feel like they don't really work. my carrerr is pretty much ending at this point. i keep messing up at work, and it's even affecting my marriage. my supervisor is out to get me in any way she can. because i am so depressed, i keep pushing my husband away. because i'm always in trouble , i think he feels that he's better than me, even though he's never said it. i tell him to leave me because he deserves so much better, he shouldn't have to put up with this crap. he has been miserable ever since he's married me. he used to be happy, but he's not anymore. i changed him, and i don't like it at all. i hate my job, i work with a bunch of back-stabbing people and whats worse: I can't quit. i can't quit or find a new job, i'm stuck every single day listening as to how i am sub par, and not good enough in their eyes. how i can't do anything right to them, and basically a piece of dirt. i'm tired of feeling like dirt, in my carrer, in my marriage, everywhere. i have lost every ounce of hope i ever did gain. i have no hope, i have no reason to live. i have nothing.