Hi Rene

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Busyknitter2, Jul 19, 2007.

  1. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    I hope things are still going ok with your Mom. Is she back at the NH?

    Well things are no better with Daddy. Bud called last night and said that he got a tiny bit of stool sample. It was real runny so hopefully it was enough. We don't know anything about the blood tests. The nurse said she would put stat and it would probably be withing two hours, this was a little after 2:00pm yesterday and we still have heard nothing.

    I talked to Bud this morning and he said that Daddy was doing ok than said he is about the same. I asked him if he drank anything and he said he thought he had drank some gatorade last night. "HE THINKS". He did tell me last night that every time he asked Daddy anything he went off on him.

    I think he needs to be back in the hospital but as long as he refuses I can't do anything about it. I think I am going to call the Dr. and see how long it has to go before he is not able to make his own decisions about his care.

    I want to thank you for being here to listen. It means a lot. Take care and let me know how things are.

    God bless; Pam
  2. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi Pam, did you get the results? Why are they doing the tests? Well maybe when you get the results the dr will get him in the hospital. Good idea on asking about when you can make the decisions but you have to be really incompetent.

    Well my mom is back at the NH. She doesn't seem good either. Very weak and can only whisper but hopefully when I get there today she'll sound better i hope. I'm really worried about her too. I can't get hospice with the dr (who is mean) referal. He did yell last Oct she'd be dead in a month so maybe that will count to get her hospice.

    I just want her to have good care. I went to a hospice website and it sounds like heaven to me.

    Well I'm super tired so I'm probably not gonna stay long.

    So let me know how the labs came out.

    Hang in there!

  3. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    I hope that your Mom is doing ok, and you are getting some rest.

    Daddy passed away today at 4:25pm. He is with my Momma now and at peace.

    I went back to Daddy's last night and insisted he go to the hospital. Bill called 911 and they could not get a pulse. When they got him to the hospital it was better and he seemed to pull out of it. We got in bed about 4:30am this morning and where back at the hospital at 11:00, He said that he didn't feel real good and I even got him to order some lunch. They brought him some lunch and he set up to eat and started having troble breathing. Again they couldn't get a pulse yet he would still talk to us.

    It went down hill fromt there. I was holding his hand when he took his last breath.

    I want to thank you again for listening and being here.

    God bless; Pam
  4. ckball

    ckball New Member

    I had to go back and see what happened, I haven't been here much lately. Sounds like you have had rough time of it.

    Please beleive he is in a better place and no longer sick or in pain. I know how much you cared for him. It will be hard but try to take care of yourself and let others take care of you during this time. I know there are some issues with your brother and hopefully that won't be too much to deal with.

    Rene- I am sorry your mother ended up in ICU, pnemonia is one of the biggest killers on NH patients. When I saw my mom on Mon she had a very congestive cough, I asked when did that start? She said a few days, I went to the desk and asked my favorite nurse to come to mom's room, and told her to cough. The nurse and aid looked at each other and "oh she has what we had and it was horrible" Don't they make masks and rubber gloves for a reason. She said she was better today, but like your mom, she lays all day long, won't get out of bed to sit in a chair.

    I hope your mom gets better soon, may I ask why you two have not exchanged emails. There are ways, if you want to know how let me know. Both of have been so much and my prayers and hugs are for both of you-Carla
  5. Rene

    Rene New Member

    NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Oh I am so so sorry I can't believe it. I just can't. Where was BUD????!!! OMG I am so so sorry. That hospital should have known better. Well I better stop I am angry I know I can't upset you more then you are but I better stop.

    I am so sorry. Yes he is with your mom and no longer in physical and emotional pain. You were a good wonderful daughter and you made your mom proud being there for your dad. Cancer is such a painful awful disease towards the end. I saw Tammy Faye on Larry King and was thinking of your dad.

    Well I'm here to listen. I don't know what to say. Well he stayed at home like he wanted. He is with the lord so we can be thankful for that but I know you are devastated. I will be praying for you tonight when I go to bed.

    Carla, hi well thanks for the kind words. My mom had respitory failure but not pneuomonia. They just treated her for it. Well hope your mom is ok. I forget that other people would read what me and Pam write. I like coming here to post with her. She may want to write private I don't know.
  6. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    Thank you for your words, you have been so supportive. I don't blame the hospital. He took a turn for the worse so quickly no one exspected it.

    The Dr. had been in not to long before we got there. He was talking and said he would order something to eat as soon as I got there. When things started going wrong they called the Dr. and he came back in and reexamined Daddy and when he pressed on his stomach Daddy almost came up out of the bed. That is the first time that it hurt to the touch. He would answer and talk up to the last.

    They came in and took xrays and we had to leave the room. I went back in the room after they left and he was laying with a glazed look and did not respond when I called his name. I got the nurse and ran down to the waiting room and yelled for Bill and my son. Bud had went out to smoke a cigaratte. We got in the room and I kept calling Daddy. Bill called Bud on his cell phone and told him to get in there now, at that time he was just down the hall talking to a nurse. I held his hand and kept telling him I loved him and it was ok to let go and go be with Momma. As Bill said when I said I love you he would move his lips like he was saying it back. He took his last breath and a peaceful look came on his face, he even had a little smile. Like Alan said maybe Momma was waiting for him. I miss him so much but he is not suffering and with Momma.

    Alexis took it pretty hard. She wanted to know why her Hoppie had to die and if he could come back. Alan explained to her that he would be in a casket and she wanted to know if he could breath in the box.

    My brother is being wonderful at present. I did hug him at the hospital and we cried. He told Bill when we left to take care of me. He told me that night that he was worried about me and how much he loved me. I would love to have a relationship with my brother but I can not trust him in my own mind and heart.

    I am sorry that I went on so long. How are you and your Mom? Let me know how things are going with you. Thank you so much for being a friend and listening. The tears are starting again so I will talk to you later.

    God bless; Pam
  7. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi Pam, Please just let Bill take care of you. Maybe right now there isn't any choice as you are in grief. I'm glad you saw his face and he had a peace look about him and told you he loved you. You did the right thing in telling him to go.

    He just went so fast. I can't believe he was gonna eat and talk and then gone the next. You never know do you. I'm gonna be thankful for every minute I have with my mom. I felt she'd live a yr or two up until last week maybe closer to a yr but now I'm scared its gonna be sooner.

    Did he have the casket ready? When is the funeral? I need to get her funeral home picked out she wants to be creamated which I wish shed want to be buried so I can see her.

    She isn't doing all that good. I will go in a few minutes. A good thing is that I complained about the mean nurse and there is a new supervisor and she is NOT gonna take anyone being mean and she is getting rid of her!!

    Most of the nurses are nice there.

    My mom yesterday asked for breathing treatments (whispered) and I got the nurse. they checked her levels and it was low and gave her treatments. They are checking her like 6 times a day so that is good.

    Well my thoughts and prayers are with you. I wish Bud would turn around and you to could be together but I don't blame you for not trusting him.

    Take care and again I'M praying for you.

  8. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    I am letting Bill take care of me, and he is at my side all the time. The boys are there for me too.

    You are so right be thankful for every minute you have with your Mom. I am very glad that you where able to get something done about the mean nurse. It takes a special person to be a nurse and the ones that do it just for a job are not them.

    They where so good to us on Thrus. They got me a cold rag, and I looked up at one point and the two nurses had tears in their eyes.

    We are showing Daddy tomorrow from 4 to 8 and the funeral is Tues. at 10:30 he will be buried next to Momma.

    Thank you again for all of your prayers and thoughts.

    God bless; Pam

  9. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi Pam, I will be thinking of you tomorrow and Tuesday. I don't know how I could handle that but I guess you just gotta do it. I'm glad the nurses were nice to you.

    I came home from the NH and 15 min later the NH called and said they called the ambulance due to oxy level. I just got back from ER. She wasn't as bad like before.

    She was able to talk and just had the oxygen in her nose. They are admiting her to the hospital but not icu which is good.

    Well again my thoughts and prayers are with you. That must have been so hard to to tell Alexis. I'm so glad you have a good husband who is taking care of you.

    Take care,
    Rene[This Message was Edited on 07/22/2007]
  10. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    How is your Mom doing? I am glad that it is not as serious as before.

    We just got back from the showing. It was very hard but he looked like himself and he looked peaceful. Little Alexis took it hard. She kept saying I'm worried about Hoppie. She told him she loved him and I don't think there was a dry eye. I laid my head on Bill's shoulder once and closed my eyes. She looked at me and said "Nana wake up, Nana is going to die too." She was really a good girl to have to be there for 4 long hours.

    Tomorrow is going to be tuff. We are coming back to our house after words and a friend of mine is bringing a bunch of food for us.

    Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Please keep me posted on how you Mom is.

    God bless; Pam
  11. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi Pam, I was thinking of you today. Oh that is so sad about Alexis too. Yes see was a brave good little girl.

    Tomorrow will be really hard I just don't know what to say. I'm glad he had a peaceful look about him. I looked up your town to see what kind of a day it was today. I will do the same for tomorrow.

    They always say its harder to bury a child then a parent but I don't know if I agree with that. You were so good to him.

    Moms on oxygen and not in ICU. Shes in pain and was talking louder then a whisper so thats good. I don't think she be out for at least a couple of days.

    Anyways my thoughts and prayers are with you.

    I hope your able to get some sleep. I wonder if your dad ever wore colonge maybe you could spray it on a shirt and sleep with it to be close to him. I know you miss him sooo much.

    Well take care and again I'm so sorry
    [This Message was Edited on 07/23/2007]
  12. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and your family during the difficult time. I wish I could take away some of your sadness.

  13. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    Thank you so much for your kind words. They do mean a lot.

    The service was beautiful. The minister was from the nursing home and he called on Saturday to get info on Daddy. He asked us to write down memeories and thoughts and he mentioned them. Alan wrote a poem the day that he found out that his Poppie had cancer and the man read it. I don't think there was a dry eye in there after that. I asked them to play amazing grace before the closing prayer.

    Bill, my boys, Bud, his son, and Andy's partner where pall bearers. I walked behind the casket holding Alexis' hand to the grave.

    We came back to our house, I had ordered a meat tray and a good friend of mine brought a cake, potato salad, cole slaw, baked beans, and 6 2liter bottles of pop.

    The only time Bill left my side was when he was pall bearer and than Alan told Alexis to take care of me and she stayed right with me.

    She rode with her Papa and I to the grave yard and she kept saying "It's not right why did Poppie have to die". At the grave I walked up and kissed my finger and touched it to the casket and said "Daddy I love you" She walked up to me and said "Nana if I say I love you Hoppie will you tell him" So I did.

    My brother hugged me at the graveyard and said "Sis I love you, we are the only ones left." He did tell me when he got ready to leave that he is afraid that he is going to start drinking again. I told him to try very hard not to.

    No we have to take care of the insurance and bank and such.

    How is your Mom doing? How are you? Let me know.

    God bless; Pam
  14. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Thank you for sharing the service with with me. I'm glad it was beautiful. That was nice of Alan to write a poem and sounds like you had a good minister too. Everything just happened so fast it scares me. Its a good lesson to learn.

    Do you live near the cemetary? I guess sometime you and Alexis will go visit sometimes. I hope Bud doesn't start drinking and I sure hope you get some of your dads belongings.

    My moms will be getting out tonight or tomorrow. I went today but they weren't sure. I'll call in a little bit. I just don't want her released before she should be as I think they did that last week and then shes back in a few days.

    I told her about your dad. Well I had been telling her since the lung cancer was found. We can't really have a conversation.

    Well I'm sure you have a lot of business stuff to take care of like you said. Hope you can get some rest. The past two days were really hard for you to get through but sounds like you made through it pretty good.

    Take care,

  15. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    I live about 8 miles from the cemetary. The plots have been bought for many years. Daddy lost a baby brother back in 1942 and my Grandpa bought 7 plots. Him and my grandma divorced years ago. When Daddy had to put him in a nursing home he had to do something with the plots. Daddy and Momma are the only two buried togather. His brothers where all divorced. It is my baby uncle, Papaw, Daddy, Momma, Mamaw, than my three uncles.

    When Momma past away Daddy bought a beautiful entwined heart tombstore and had everything but his date of death engraved so the guy from the funeral home is sending the guy out to do that.

    We are getting ready to take care of some business. I am doing fair today.

    How are things with you? How is your Mom doing? Please let me know and thank you so much for listening.

    God bless; Pam
  16. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi Pam, glad to hear your doing fair. I'm sure you're on an emotional rollercoaster. That was nice that your daddy had the tombstone made out I am glad you didn't have to plan that part out.

    Have you heard from Bud? I guess you'll be seeing him when you go over to your dads place. I hope Bud helps out a lot at the apartment.

    Did your mom and dad live in that apartment when she died? Or did your dad move there after?

    My mom is getting out in about 15 min. Still don't know if she has pneomoinia or not. Odd. They are treating her for it like last week. I am just to tired to go today.

    I've been praying for you.

    Take care,
  17. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    Again thank you so much for your prayers and thoughts they mean so much.

    Yes I have seen my brother and talked to him. He keeps saying we are all that is left and he loves me. He even told me that he told Zach (his son) that you could never say I love you enough. I just wish that it hadn't taken this for him to realize it.

    Momma & Daddy lived in a house they had built and moved into when I was 11. They lived there until Daddy retired and moved into the apartment in 2001. After Momma passed away the house was to much for Daddy.

    She always kept her purse in a extra kitchen chair. After she passed and we got back to the house I moved it because it broke my heart to see it. He put it back in that chair and it stayed until he was packing to move. He came out and said "I finally got rid of Mom's purse."

    I got the papers coming to fill out for his life insurance and annuity. Bill & I went to the bank he had a little over $500 in the bank, but he still owed on the car and had a $9500 Visa bill outstanding. The only thing they can take is the car and what is in the bank. They did say that they would work something out that Bud can continue to pay for the car. It will be more than Daddy owed on the car, it will be what the car is worth. I haven't broke that to Bud. He was planning on just paying the couple of payments on the car. Daddy did want him to have the car so he would have transportation.

    I am glad that your Mom is out of the hospital. I hope that she gets to feeling better. I hope that you can some how get some rest. You deserve it.

    Have you heard anything from your brothers? Thank you again for being here. Take care and let me know how things are going.

    God bless; Pam
  18. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi Pam, how are you doing? I'm glad you were able to get out to the bank to get some things done. I hope your brother stays nice. Guess he'll have to be finding a place of his own.

    Saw my mom and she didn't have any water pitcher around. The aid who is very experienced said she gave her the awful think water. I told her she can have water and the green sign on the wall was gone. Green sign means thick.

    They are only going to check my mom oxy level 1 time per shift. I don't think that is enough. I don't feel safe about that. She did sit up for 40 min and I layed down. I need to get her up everyday.

    I know this is so hard for you still. I hope the pain will ease a little as time goes by.

    Take care,
  19. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi Pam, how are you doing? I'm glad you were able to get out to the bank to get some things done. I hope your brother stays nice. Guess he'll have to be finding a place of his own.

    Saw my mom and she didn't have any water pitcher around. The aid who is very experienced said she gave her the awful think water. I told her she can have water and the green sign on the wall was gone. Green sign means thick.

    They are only going to check my mom oxy level 1 time per shift. I don't think that is enough. I don't feel safe about that. She did sit up for 40 min and I layed down. I need to get her up everyday.

    I know this is so hard for you still. I hope the pain will ease a little as time goes by.

    Take care,
  20. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    I am glad that your Mom was able to sit up. Is she able to talk to you? Why is some of the water thick? I hope that you are resting as much as you can.

    I told Bill I don't think that I am ever not going to be tired. I am trying to stay as busy as I can. I am cleaning my house good and catching up on laundry. I am one of those people who clean when they are upset. It takes me a lot longer than it use to. Bill said he use to be able to tell when I was really upset when he came home, the whole house would be changed.

    My Daddy's sister who did not want to bother with him. Called today and Bill talked to her. She tried to tell him I had said some things that I did not, he told her that he was right there when I talked to her. She also told him that we where all below her. I was proud of him, he kept his cool for the most part. He did tell her that he knew she was lieing and that her brother wanted to see her and she did not have the time. He said that he was pretty sure that she was recording the call.

    Nice thing for a Aunt to say isn't it? I still remember the look on Daddy's face when I told him I had talked to her and she said she was going out of town. He was hurt.

    Well once again I went on and on. How are you? Remember that I am here to listen to you anytime. Get some rest and take care of yourself.

    God bless; Pam