Ok , im not really sure where to start but here goes . Im a 22 year old male from the UK , i currently live with my family and many pets in the countryside . i work in security for a well known UK firm and have been for about 4 years . tho on the outside i seem happy and contempt with my life , on the inside im a complete mess , im about £7000 in debt with no sight of getting clear , i am single with no prospect of finding anyone tho ive tried everything from dating sites to chat rooms going out with friends clubbing and partying etc . this afternoon i have been suspended from my job over a very silly mistake that could im thinking may spell my dismissal from the company ( invesigation pending , and i may not get dismissed but its a serious possibility ) . i havent yet told my parents of this because it will start massive rows and im waiting on the outcome of the issue . i also have a few health worrys that are upsetting me but im too scared to see a doctor incase its something serious. i spend hours unable to sleep and resort to crying to sleep most of the time . ive even thought about suicide tho i have a huge fear of death which puts me off , i feel so lost and alone inside i just want to runaway forever somewhere and be forgotten about . ive tryed making fresh starts and each time something happens and im back to square one again. sorry for my potential spelling and grammer mistakes my keyboard sticks a lot . thank you for your time in reading this , its nice to find somewere and be able to pour your heart out with fear of riddicule .