HORRIBLE WEEK: Neighbor committed suicide.

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by fivesue, Sep 21, 2005.

  1. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    That was Monday. We live in a condominium with 20 other units. I have lived here for 13 years, and my husband came to live here in 2000 when we were married. We are a close group of people...not nosey, bothersome, but good neighbors, friends. A great place to live.

    The lady who died was a lady with problems, and she was having a very hard time with life. Neighbors found her Monday morning. So very sad. Leaves a daughter, grown, but who now has no family left except her husband.

    Then, on Monday evening my mother called to tell me my dad was in the hospital because he had chest pains. He has a terminal disease and because of the lack of oxygen, his heart reacted. He is home now, and we will be going to see him this weekend. But, he's going to die soon. I'm just so sad.

    Then, I saw my rheumy yesterday and he was a jerk! Hadn't even looked at my exrays before he came in. Dismissed me with there is nothing he can do for FM.

    I'm having a flare, trying to get ready for our trip, my daughter-in-law, whom I love like my own, is having physical problems and is far too busy for her own good. She called on Monday to talk to me.

    My mom is tired from caring for my dad even though he is a sweetie and loves and helps as much as he can. He is so thankful for his family and for my mom, but she is tired...I can tell. I can't help her right now because of where we live and how I feel.

    And then my dear neighbor is gone...died alone, feeling alone, and yet there were many of us who cared for her. It's just too sad for me to think about. Also, she has a dog who was with her...he was out of water and food, and was so happy when the ladies came to see about things. He now is with one of them, and what will become of him?

    So sad. A bad week, and I feel bad and have to get ready to leave for a week. Just so sad.

    Guess this is a big part of why I'm so emotionally fragile today. Thank you for listening. Pray for this lady's daughter and please pray for my dad and mom. One neat thing...today is their 59th anniversary, and my dear sister is making dinner for them.

    Hugs,
    Sue
  2. Mareeok

    Mareeok New Member

    ...the great sadness in your life right now. Life is so fragile and despite physical and emotional pain is very precious. It is so very sad when someone is so distraught they lose sight of that. My heart cries for that dear soul.
    I am praying for her family

    I'm also praying for you and your family pressures to ease up. I'm so glad you are coming together to celebrate your parents' anniversary tonight. Drink in all the love and happiness till your happy tank is filled to the brim.
  3. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    You take care of yourself, also. Life is hard and when all these things hit, it just makes it worse. I will be praying for you, also. You are a neat person, and I am glad to get to know you on this board.

    Hugs,
    Sue
  4. ksp56

    ksp56 Member

    My heart goes out to you. Suicide is an awful death and leaves loved ones and friends devastated. I will pray for her daughter and all of you who loved her.

    I did not know about your dad. I am so very sorry. It is painful to watch the first man in your life, ebb away.

    My beloved Dad, died 2 years ago, after a year battle with cancer. Mom was his primary care giver, and I secondary. I live in town, which was fortunate.

    My Mom was so exhausted. We had a great hospice team, but Mom is a nurse and did everything 100%. Do you know if there any caretaker support groups in their area? They can be heaven sent.

    You are under so much emotional stress Sue. Don't feel guilty about your own health. Take care of yourself so you can get better. Easier said than done, I know.

    You are all in my prayers.

    Love,

    Kim
  5. Frustratedandtired

    Frustratedandtired New Member

    I am so sorry for your troubles. My dad is dying too from a leaky heart valve and blockages which are inoperable due to his age and weakness. So sad. There has been a lot of illness, death, and emotional turmoil this year and it has really taken a toll. Remember to take care of yourself. I have to remind myself to take some relaxation time no matter how upsetting things become. Time to do something I enjoy, even if it's just sitting in a warm tub for 30 minutes. Also, I work with the Humane Society some and if you contact them, they will find a nice home for the dog. Even a foster home until a permanent home is found if the person who has it now can't keep it until then.
  6. nice2meetu

    nice2meetu New Member

    This kind of stuff usually puts me into a flare up. Please take time out to relax and clear your mind! I will say a prayer for you if thats ok.
  7. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    You have more on your plate right now than anyone should. My prayers go out to you and your family.

    It is very sad about your neighbor. One thing I firmly believe, though, is that no one really dies alone. My Mom held her arms out to someone only she could see right before she died and she had the most beautiful look on her face. People with NDE usually talk about meeting their loved ones on The Other Side. I hope this at least offers you a little comfort right now in your grief.

    Sending you love, prayers, and soft hugs.

    Love, Mikie
  8. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    You have touched me more deeply than you can know today. I felt bad posting all of this, but after I posted the guilt one, I realized that this week has just taken its toll on me, so I wanted to clear that up...I'm usually not so flakey!

    The dog...I am unable to care for the dog even though I love animals! We have a cat and live in a condo. I'm sure the daughter has taken over the dog, and I am fairly confident that she will keep him. And, never feel like you are being overbearing for suggesting I might need an animal...I love animals, but my real love is cats...and my big, fat Felix is my love. My husband isn't a dog person, and I am, but cats are number one with me. Especially since we live in a smaller place.

    I appreciate all your prayers...I never turn those down! You are kind to include us as I know each one who responded has trials and sorrows of her own. Prayer is the stongest thing we have in my opinion, so that is an awesome offer you have given.

    Each of you is special...I have found a wonderful home here, and I love each of you, think about you, and pray for you when I think of you. Thank you again for your kindness.

    I am better after a bit of listening to the radio, sitting in my chair, and just piddling with the laundry. You were right...I needed to take some time for me.

    Now...you all make sure you do the same! (-:
    Sue

    PS Concerning suicide...it is an awful legacy for the family and others. I'm glad there are support groups for those who have been affected by this act. I also feel so bad for those who become so hopeless that they are able to do this. So sad.

    And, thinking about your mother, Mikie, holding her hand out for someone she saw is a comforting thought. Thank you for sharing.

    Blessings to each and all of your loved ones.
  9. nanday

    nanday New Member

    I feel the heaviness of stress and the love in your words for the people that you care for. It seems that all of us are in the same situation.....maybe that is why we all were searching and found this site?????
    Please enjoy your get-away.....it is through no fault of your own that these things happen....you are such a feeling and loving, dedicated daughter and friend and mom.
    But you must take care of you too or you won't be around for anyone else!!

    I understand because of my elderly parents both having had strokes and being an hour away and only my brother and I here to care for them. My only child had my first granddaughter five months ago and she is just a bright star in my life. She lives about 2 hours away though and hard to drive that far when you are so sick and tired.

    My heart goes out to you and everyone here. Have a restful time and take care.

    Hugs (soft)

    nanday
  10. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    Thank you for encouraging me. You guys have really helped me today!

    Nanday, welcome to the board. Glad you're here. Seems like you have quite a bit now with your parents, your illness, and the good part, the grandchildren...or grandchild...I forget! Grandchildren (I have two!) are great...like they say...should have had them first! No, not really...love my sons.

    Again, thanks for the notes. Hope tonight is a good sleeping night for you both!

    Hugs,
    Sue
  11. DLsGroovyMoM

    DLsGroovyMoM New Member

    As I know the type of loss you are feeling...I went through it just last week when my husbands best friend did the same thing...count yourself lucky though cause I came here for support and all of my posts where deleted even when I changed the wording to something other than what you have used. I do not wish that kind of pain on anyone. Please take care of yourself...pysically and emotionally as I know the last week has put me into a flare like none I have had before.
    hugs and prayers to you
    Amy
  12. Fudge43

    Fudge43 New Member

    I'm sorry Sue that all of those terrible times are happening at once .. it would be so stressful if they were happening on an individual time table .. but all together is is so overwhelming to you ..
    Our neighbor ( a keen gardener like myself ) was diagnosed with lung cancer in the Spring .. we were shocked .. yesterday while i was sitting at the kitchen table I thought I saw a "kid" go in our back yard .. I was ready to shout .. out of there ! .. then I saw my husband walk behind this "kid" and I realized it was our neighbor .. so thin and frail and just plain tiny .. I was shocked .. when my husband came in he said that "Tim" our neighbor now has brain cancer ... maybe 8 months to live .. I just didn't know what to say .. but my heart goes out to their family and yours .. so sorry.
  13. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    people are being affected by suicide. It's an epidemic of hopelessness which is so sad. To all of you who have experienced this, my best wishes for a resolution in your minds about this experience...and the ability of all of us to reach out to a hurting world.

    Lung cancer is a terrible thing...and now in the brain. So sad, but I'm glad he has good neighbors like you. My prayers for all of you.

    Hugs,
    Sue