how can i deal with fm and active children

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by deannabelt, Sep 18, 2006.

  1. deannabelt

    deannabelt New Member

    I have two active boys and not able to do the things that they want me to do and they just don't understand . my doctor does not give me strong meds and i suffer alot .How can i deal with this please help
  2. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    deannabelt:

    I would find a doc who would not leave you in the position of 'suffering' (as you stated above).

    It would be nice if you got some good care to get out of the pain.

    just my suggestion............


    nyrofan
  3. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    deannabelt:

    I would find a doc who would not leave you in the position of 'suffering' (as you stated above).

    It would be nice if you got some good care to get out of the pain.

    just my suggestion............


    nyrofan
  4. Jeanne-in-Canada

    Jeanne-in-Canada New Member


    You need to find a simple way in child friendly terms to let them know you are sick or have a big owie that so they get it a little. Children are little hedonists anyway, but a chronic illness is a good way to instill empathy.

    You really need a doctor that will listen to your needs. I can't imagine my childless life w/out decent painkillers, let alone 2 kids, w/out them.


    Jeanne
  5. FriendonthePath

    FriendonthePath New Member

    I have a 3-year-old girl and cannot run around with her as much as she would like me to. This makes me feel guilty at times.

    My mom pointed out that moms didn't use to "play" with their kids as much as we do today. Back in the day when you had to wash your clothes by hand and kneed your own bread, there wasn't much time to play. Her mom never "played" with her, but she was there to raise her.

    I recently met two grownup kids of a lady who has FMS. She was not the most active mom, but she was there for them emotionally and provided a strong role-model of someone who could stay positive in the face of adversity. These are two very compassionate and responsibile young adults and I think she did a great job.

    Many kids are raised by their grandparents who can't run around after them either and these kids are fine. Your kids will be fine. They need a mom, not another playmate.

    Schedule lots of play dates with other people and focus on all the other great stuff you do! :)
  6. IowaMorningGlory

    IowaMorningGlory New Member

    I have 3 teenage boys in the house (ages 14, 16, & 16). Two are my own, one is foster care. They are active in so many things, sometimes the main thing they need for now is to take them places. The thing that guilts me the most....is helping and make sure they get their schoolwork done. My oldest is great, he pushes himself and I very seldom have to help him with schoolwork (He is 3rd top highest in his class). My foster child came to me with below a 1.0 grade average, I have him to at least a 3.0. It is my 14 year old I feel the guiltiest about...he likes moms help, is proud when he finishes his work...but some nights I just cannot help...and then I feel terrible.

    My doctor too, is doing the waiting game. I know he cares, I know he could probably help me with some kind of relief, but doesn't want to commit until I see "another" specialist....in November!

    Best of Luck to you & Blessed Be,
    IowaMorningGlory
  7. spacee

    spacee Member

    I had to smile over your sleeping in the car. I had forgotten that I used to do that cause their sports practices NEVER got out on time.

    My brother reports that "normals" do that now. Sometimes they have to pound on the windows to wake them up in "car rider line".

    I do hope you can get pain relief. That would help so much.

    My bed was the "famiy room". We played games, did homework and I was always available to "talk". Even if I was napping, they had permission to wake me up. For my 3 sons, I think that helped alot to have a mom who was "there" for them.

    Also, I live in a small town and everything is 5 minutes away, so I could drag out to run them where ever they needed to be. Not everyone has that.

    And I bought clothes that you could sleep in, get up and go somewhere and still look presentable. I didn't have the energy to change clothes.

    I feel for you!!!! Spacee
  8. Summit

    Summit New Member

    You can still go to the park with them and watch them (cheer them on) while they play ball etc. Or take them to a swimming pool, you lay in your lounger soaking up sun while they swim. Or play board games with them in the evening etc. Find Other Less physical things to do with them, and take them to places where they can play with each other or other kids to do the rougher physical things. Take heart, your being with them is the most important thing (hey, fising is something most boys really like, and isn't too physical) or go to museums, just think about those kinds of things, try and be "happy" and enjoy them. that's the most important Good luck to you. hope you get something for your pain soon. Try soaking in a hot tub, or maybe ice (on shoulders neck) releives pain somewhat, and then heat, or I have found Ben Gay put on every day really starts to help too (but stinks) take care friend

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