How can person work FT and deal with FM??

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by survive, Aug 19, 2003.

  1. survive

    survive New Member

    my Fibromyalgia was found at age 8. Now in my 30's I find it so difficult to work my full time job (50 to 60 hours a week) and deal with the pain and lack of sleep.
  2. Annette2

    Annette2 New Member

    50-60 hours is A LOT of hours! Can you cut back on your hours? I work between 20-30 hours a week and it's all I can manage, plus taking care of a house, shopping, cooking, etc. I know there are people here who work full-time, but not too many. If at all possible, try to work less hours.


    P.S. - Welcome! Hope you come back.
  3. survive

    survive New Member

    My first time to the site and it is great help. I will work on a plan to reduce my hours or look for new employment. My body can't take this anymore. Thank you for your comments.
  4. IgotYou

    IgotYou New Member

    I've noticed an interesting phenomenon. Before I was diagnosed, I thought maybe I was just oversensitive, had food allergies, or something else. So I ignored my symptoms as much as possible and just plugged away. I felt awful all the time, but when I rested I felt guilty and weak. Now that I've been diagnosed, my self-image has changed - and I'm not so sure that's a good thing. I see myself as a sick person. The FM has become part of my self image. I'm more likely to accommodate my symptoms than I was before, and I find I'm getting less done. Also, it seems the symptoms bother me more now that I'm acknowledging them than they did when I refused to admit I was sick. So what I'm learning is that I need balance between doing all the things I can to improve my health, and the mental mindset that this thing isn't who I am and isn't going to beat me. That's where I'm heading now, and I think it's the key to staying productive at work. I think we go through a bit of a grieving process when we lose our health, and there's a lot of growing up we have to do to face it and keep going. There are many very admirable and strong people on this board who are fighting a hard battle. I think if you make up your mind to be one of them, you'll do better, though it won't ever be as easy as it is for other people. Just my thoughts - I'm still early in this mental-healing process!
  5. angelheart

    angelheart New Member

    Survive, your post really struck me this a.m. I work full time and have FM. By the grace of God I somehow do it. But today for me is one of those days that I think why and how??? The pain in my back and arms is excruciating today. Most days I manage pretty well. I came to work because I have some responsibilities for the day that I must meet. I am also blessed with a wonderful boss who will probably look at my face and know it is a "bad" day for me and I most likely will go home early. I do not take any meds. because of so many bad re-actions, but I do mild exercise daily, watch my diet, pray/meditate and slow down when my body tells me too. I take it back I am on the Guaifenesin Protocol (my one med.) and that has helped my pain 80% at least. I have my occasional flare today, but most days I manage. My life is not the same as before, priorities have changed. But for me I have found a way to go on. I just need to get through this flare today....and hope tomorrow is a better day! My blessings and prayers go out to you that you find a way to be able to work if you need to. ~Angelheart~
  6. pammy52

    pammy52 New Member

    I work a 38 hr week and am looking into a part time job
    because of that "need to pay the bills" dance we all do.
    It is truly a huge struggle 80% of the time to just get
    thru the work day. My family is grown and gone now so I can
    now come home and go straight to bed if I just cant do one
    more thing. I divorced 3 yrs. ago and now have a very
    supportive SO. He is been out of work for a yr. due to an
    injury and has taken over many household chores or at least
    will do them if I leave a note in the a.m..
    If you are taking care of a family on top of your long work
    hrs. you are in double overload at this point.
    Trying to balance taking care of ourselves with what we have to do and need to do to 'live' is one of the most
    difficult aspects of living with this DD.
    I hope you can find a way to work less and get more rest.
  7. Aeryn

    Aeryn New Member

    ,[This Message was Edited on 08/21/2003]
  8. Chelz

    Chelz New Member

    Hi survive! Annette2 is right about this, 50 to 60 hours is a lot for most people, but with this condition, it can be torture. I used to work two jobs, pulling in about 56 hours a week between 1994 and 1998, I had to finally quit my part time job which I did love, but had to let go of it. I kept the full time one for the benefits. I used to feel guilty about letting go of the other job, but hey, I'm not superwoman, these conditions put things in perspective. I realize people might have financial problems and must work, but burning out is just not worth it.

    I learned the hard way, but at least I learned, LOL. Please, take care of yourself first. I know it sounds easy and it's not. Try to cut back just a little and see how you feel. Hugs to you, Chelz.
  9. easyoung

    easyoung New Member

    i am a school teacher, 10th grade english, and i am finding that since diagnosed 5 years ago i have been more productive mentally and physically than i was before. go figure. i think it is an attitude, which is i won't give in or give up. having a job that makes a difference in the world also helps, and i like my job. however, i do have bad days, and when i do, i actually tell students, "hey, not feeling so good today, so don't pluck my nerves..." and believe it or not, they don't. i don't use it often, but on the days with the headaches or extreme pain, i do because i have a tendency to get cross.
    tips: DON'T OVERDO. pick one thing you can manage and get it done. if it doesn't happen, i don't think the world will explode. probably our biggest enemies are ourselves in that we expect we can do what we used to do and feel guilty if we don't. i don't use the fibro as an excuse. it is what it is. however, realistically there are things i can't do anymore or need help or time with. when i stopped beating myself up, i felt a lot of stress go away.
    having the disease has put a lot of things in perspective for me and has forced me to make priorities. this was a plus, because in the real world, we often get distracted by stuff that really is meaningless. if something good can come out of a disease, this would be it. i have a better attitude, period, and i think i am a better person and parent and friend for it. do what you need to do to make yourself feel better as a deserve it!
  10. IgotYou

    IgotYou New Member

    Easyoung is an excellent example of the kind of admirable, strong person I was talking about! Thank you for a great post - very helpful and wise.
  11. fairyborn

    fairyborn New Member

    Good Day,
    I also work a full time postion. It has take me a while to learn to pace myself. That taking time to relax for part of my days off is important to my ablity to get through upcoming week.
    Light and Blessings
  12. yvette01826

    yvette01826 New Member

    I could have written that message myself. Ive been suffering for 4+ years and just LAST WEEK did I really own up to the fms. I had a bit of a melt down and actually said the words "I'm sick".

    Its amazing, the guilt I felt for just resting. I did everything I could to "keep up", work, the house, not ruin the times my hubby and I went out socially because of relentless fatigue. Running on empty just added to my unbearable anxiety and I felt as tho I would snap.

    After I got it out(and am coming to terms with fms), I now have to keep on the journey to wellness. I realize the miracle cure isnt there. I will no longer drive myself crazy thinking of it endlessly. I took 3 weeks off from my ft job, and will rest and enjoy it.

    I feel a great sense of relief embracing my fms and stop the facade of the old me. Because, like it or not, Im not well, and continuing to pretend that I am is making me sicker.

    Good luck.

  13. Felce

    Felce New Member

    I`ve tried to do it all and be super women. I found myself emotionally and physically drained. Besides that I wasn`t fun to be around. God has taught me to start loving myself and realize I have LIMITATIONS!! I listen to my body and have learned that dust will be there tomorrow, I`m more important. Ask God to give you wisdom and start listening to that still small voice inside. I`ve went from full time to part time and I`m a much happier women. All the things we think we really need we really don`t. You`ll learn to budget and find more peace inside. God bless you, Felce
  14. ladybird1

    ladybird1 New Member

    I am holding down a full time job (though not as many hours
    as you) and when I get home I have my frail mother to tend to. (I have a health aide who comes in during the day so I can work). God is holding us up. Although there are days when I feel I have an anchored tied to me because I'm just dragging through the day.
  15. tandy

    tandy New Member

    Thats just it!! I cannot and do not!! Even if it means getting some assistance form the good ole government. I tried the route of working with this DD.....I found it impossible to do full time~ currently I'm not working at all. but when I do return will be part-time.(25 hrs a week). I don't know how you do it personally.....and keep house,cook,run errands,dr. appointments and kids(if you have them)!! I have a hard time juggling all those without having a job!! god bless ya! :)
  16. Danett

    Danett New Member

    That's me! After two years and the last year being the year from "you know what". I have finally accepted that "yes, I am sick.' My family is happy! It has been difficult for them to watch me struggle with this.

    I am stubborn and did not want to give up my full time work. Luckily, I own my own business so now I only work 4-5 hours 6 days a week. After working 9 -10 hours for 6-7 days a week and doing the home life thing it has been very difficult for me to "let go" of things.

    My husband now does the grocery shopping. He took over the laundry last year. And I'm learning to delegate, delegate, delegate. That is hard for a "control freak"!

    You guys are going to be my support group, hopefully!

    Thanks for listening!
  17. sumbuni

    sumbuni New Member

    I don't think I have fms (tho about 5 years ago a dr. said it sounded like I did...) I do have cfs...and work full time, and for 8 straight weeks we worked 55 to 58 hrs a week,(5 days 10 hrs. ea, and whatever on Sat.) We are working 40 now, and I STILL dead to the world by quitting time. The way I see it is that I don't have a choice right now...If I drop dead at work they will just have to cart me off, but I won't be TIRED anymore!

    I am a production worker at a window factory...they get 800 to 1100 windows on 8 hrs each day and want 1400 and are pushing for it. Everyday, I think I can't do it...Everyday I quit in my mind..."NO MORE! I can't do this any more!" and pray that God will give me the strength to finish just one more day!

    I rest all day on Saturday, because I CANNOT do one thing...I sleep as much as I can...And do as much around my house as I can Sunday afternoon. I also have a 1 & 1/2 acre yard to mow...(it ain't flat all over, and there are roots that jar my teeth out to run over them)...but it too has to be done, and there is no one but me to do it. It takes me the better part of 4 hours mowing as fast as I can. Honestly...God has to be pushing, because I just don't have the strength anymore!

    sumbuni (tired as usual)
  18. GooGooGirl

    GooGooGirl New Member

    I don't have a choice...I'm single, I own a house, have car payments, credit card debt and a cat and dog that need to eat. I wish every single day that I could just walk out of my job and never have to go back, but I know people much sicker than me who absolutely can not work and as long as I can do it, I will have to keep working because I just don't have a choice. Some days I have so much pain and I feel like a zombie but I just have to keep going. I wouldn't wish this DD on anyone. If someone told me 10 years ago what my life would be like today I would not have believed them.
  19. yvette01826

    yvette01826 New Member

    I guess thats half the battle. Delegate. You said it perfectly. Just owning up to it is half the battle. As I said, I feel much better just owning my illness.

    Bluntly, it sucks. But it is what it is...and I am strong, as are you, and we will figure it out eventually. My hubby keeps telling me:: No problems...Just challenges.

    One day at a time!
  20. survive

    survive New Member

    I hope tomorrow is better for you then today. I agree the flare ups that come are somestimes unbearable. I refuse to let this control my life. Angleheart what do you do for diet and exercise that you think helps you?