How can U change residences & keep going?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Bellesmom, Mar 24, 2003.

  1. Bellesmom

    Bellesmom New Member

    We might have to move because of some situations. I often see how bad many of you are doing physically and wonder how you get through the really big things like moving from one place to another, losing a loved one, visiting those who live a distance from you, etc.

    I just can't even think about packing, giving up animals I love, deciding on what to keep, what to let go - stuff like that. How in the world does it all get done?

    I just put my answer on the how do you feel on scale from 1 to 10 and my answer was 10 for most of the time. That doesn't sound like a good way to try to move!

    Would love to get your input and experience.

    [This Message was Edited on 03/24/2003]
  2. pam_d

    pam_d New Member

    We moved cross country a year ago (in fact it was exactly one year ago today that I arrived in my new location!) and I was definitely worried about how I would do with this. I do not think my pain/fatigue is as great as many on a continuing basis----however, I was very concerned, because I do have bad flares that seem to come without stress, let alone the stress of moving. It actually went much better than I'd anticipated. My advice--- start as early as you can to pack, or give away/sell stuff you don't need. The earlier you start, the more you can do on a little-by-little basis, rather than leaving many things to do at the end. I tried to pack 2 boxes a day. If I felt energetic, I might try a 3rd box, but not 10. Space it out over time. If you have neighbor kids/teens you trust, see if they can help pack boxes for a fee----much, much cheaper than paying a moving company to pack boxes. We moved our two indoor cats cross- country via a company that does such things-----wasn't cheap, but certainly can be done, even long-distance, if you are dreading making an emotional decision like leaving a beloved pet.

    Sometimes, I think we rise very well to the occasion, when there's something ahead of us that we know would be to our advantage in the long-run. That's how I feel about moving. I'm not wild about the weather here in my new home, but in literally every other aspect of our lives, it has been the best thing for all of us. And it wasn't easy, but it went much better than I had anticipated. Just plan ahead, & start early, so you doing tasks in small increments, rather than having it all hit you at once.

    Much good luck with this!
  3. Hippo

    Hippo New Member

    I had this exact thing happen to me a year ago. My family and I had lived in the same home for 13 years and had accumulated a lot of stuff. Suddenly, my husband announced that he wanted a divorce and that he was going to tell the judge I could work full-time and cut off my support! Then I discovered I could not keep our home and had to find a smaller place. Needless to say, this was extremely shocking, hurtful, and an awful lot to take in at one time.

    What I did was this: I packed ONE box a day for 60 days. Anything I was at all doubtful about, I threw away or donated to charity. I have discovered that when you have this DD, it is to your advantage to keep your material possessions to a minimum. Less to clean, less to keep track of, less to get stolen or lost, less to break, less confusing all the way around. I had to downsize BIG TIME due to the fact that my new place was less than half the size and now I no longer have a yard. I won't kid you, the move was a NIGHTMARE. But we got through it. I think the key is to get rid of everything you can live without, and do only a small amount of packing each day. Normal people can pack in a weekend, but of course we can't live like that. Good luck, and please keep us updated!

  4. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I guess I have been lucky because when these things have happened, somehow something takes care of it. I do pray and have a lot of faith that things work out and happen as they are supposed to.

    When my Mom moved in with me, she had to get out of her place very rapidly and hadn't even started to pack up. A neighbor's children had just bought a house and needed everything. They packed, cleaned, and moved Mom's personal things for us. They took what they wanted and the Goodwill picked up the rest. They were like angels and worked so hard. I happened to be in a remission, so I was able to help out.

    Whenever I have needed it, I tell God that I cannot do what is needed unless He sends me extra help. He's always come through for me. I do try to find creative ways of doing things. I have come to see a lot of my stuff as unnecessary and am gettin rid of a lot. I no longer need things. Things require maintenance and space. I am trying to simplify my life.

    Our family is spread out all over and we have suffered a lot of loss this last year. We just let each other know how much we love one another.

    I hope this helps and I hope the move goes well.

    Love, Mikie
  5. Bellesmom

    Bellesmom New Member

    Each of the 3 replies (so far) has been just the advice and encouragement I needed if and when I have to move. May not want to but sometimes we have to do things we don't want to, right?

    Since you all have been thru this situation I was able to gather much important info and I just appreciate it so much more than you know.

    Yes, relying on the Lord is how I make it thru each day (and night).

    God bless
  6. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    Another 'mover' here too. I lived in New Orleans all my life. The house I moved from, I was there 18 years. Could you imagine the junk I collected???

    What I did was just about what the others said, when I knew that I was going to move, I started buying those cheap purging boxes that you file in.

    I have over 10,000 books, yea, that is a whole lot of books and I love each one dearly. I started with the books, I would pack as much as I could on good days, mark what subject matter they were and just let the boxes on the bookshelves(I have pictures of that!). Before long I had all my books packed.

    I then went to the closets, marked everything on the outside of the boxes what was in them, shoes, sewing, fabric, handbags, embroidery, etc. and left them in the closet.

    The kitchen, I did the same thing, I only left out what I needed. The bathroom too.

    I took sheets and layed my clothes in them with the hangers tied together, folded the sheet up, that way they were easier to carry and didn't get messed up, I just had to hang them when I got to the new house.

    All that I didn't want, I sent to the goodwill, or threw out as I went along. I never went into a room without a trash bag!

    What I grieved for was my plants, I had a large greenhouse there that I didn't have here. So I gave away most of the plants that I knew could not be kept outdoors.

    My biggest help with the packing was my eight year old grandson! He enjoyed helping with the packing, and was getting educated with naming all the books as we packed them!

    When I got to the new house, I had everyone put the boxes in the rooms they were designated for, kitchen, bath, bedroom, gargage, etc. It made it soooo much easier for me to unpack and I did not have to carry things from room to room.

    I moved 75 miles from where I was, I transported all my dogs, I had six dogs, and two cats, one rabbit in kennels that I covered so they would not be frightened. It worked out well, plus I got tranqualizers from the vet for them.

    As for the distance, I moved to the country away from the hassle and crime in the city. I left friends, church, and my children except for my daughter (who lives five miles from me).

    I learned to live with infrequent visits from my son's, but it made them grow up because I was not around the corner anymore!

    I also lost my only sibling my younger brother, and my adored son in law too during this time.

    Somehow, like Mikie said, the Lord filled in and helped me through it all.

    I am quite happy where I am now, its peaceful, lovely,quiet and full of wildlife. All I need is a church home, and a greenhouse now! That would make my life as serene as I could possibly want!

    I am in a larger house, on five acres of land, most of it is wooded. I live on about an acre with the house, garage, and driveway. The rest is wild, full of trees, birds, deer, coyote, wild rabbits and all the other creatures that live in Louisiana! I am one happy camper.

    HOpe this helps, and that you find the happiness you deserve too.

    Shalom, Shirl

    PS Do try to keep your animals, that I would have had a serious hard time doing!

  7. Bellesmom

    Bellesmom New Member

    I will probably have to give up my pygmy goats and larger of the 2 dogs which I just got a few months ago. I cannot imagine how I will be able to do this so am denying it for now. Maybe it won't come to pass, I hope.

    Thank you all, again, for your beautiful and thoughtful input. It is so appreciated. Just goes to show that the looming mountain is possibly just a foothill after all.