Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by budmickl, Oct 25, 2008.

  1. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    I am not a religious person, in that I haven't been to a church service in over 30 yrs.

    My emotional and spiritual life is in turmoil. It's been suggested I check into a hospital for a few days because of my depression.

    My hope is that I can find a church that will not judge me or smother me. I was raised in a Baptist and Christian church. How should I feel when I go into a new church? Will I just 'know' it's the right one?

    Am I being selfish for turning to the church now when my life is in such crisis? That is how I feel...

  2. caffey

    caffey New Member

    When I go to a new church I usually know by the end of the service whether I will come back. The main thing I personally look for after doctrine and the way the services are conducted is how do they treat me. Are they happy to see me? Do you need any help? Do they offer to help or do they ignore me. Of course the bigger is their statement of faith what I believe?

    Your second question. No you are not being selfish. This is when you need the support of a church family. Depression wants to keep us isolated and we have to fight against isolationism.

    You may have to try a few churches before you find the suited to you. Don't be in a hurry. Just take it slowly.

    Please Lord help this person to find a church where people can love her/him, support them, encourage them and where in time she/he can be a blessing to them. Please help him/her to know that they are unconditionally loved by You exactly where they are at and there isn't anything to feel guilty about. Thank you in Jesus Name. Amen.

    It will be ok but it may take time. Blessings
  3. momof27

    momof27 New Member

  4. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    As a child, I went to a Baptist Church when I went, because it was within walking distance. My parents didn't go. My older sister went, she was baptized. All I got out of church was tears. I cried because I was scared. I cried because I wasn't good enough. I never learned the lessons or understood the Bible scriptures as a child in Sunday School. I was laughed at.

    As a teenager, my parents decided to go to a Christian Church. They went and tried to be involved. They made me go to church on Sunday as a way to control me. If I went out on a date on Friday or Saturday, I had to go to church that Sunday. If I didn't go to church on Sunday, then I couldn't go out the next weekend. They didn't go every Sunday. They would take me and drop me off and pick me up. But they rarely attended.

    I used to have the opinion that people who go to church on Sunday morning go because they stayed out too late to go home, or had nothing to do the night before so this was their social event of the weekend.

    I feel like there is so much that my parents didn't teach me as a child that is one reason I don't know how to be an adult today.

  5. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    Going to different churches and seeing people I know and feeling like I should be where they are in life and love. I always feel less that enough and starting something too late to be worthwhile.

    Guess it's just the paranoid depression speaking.

  6. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    If I only knew how to put the could of/should of/would of's behind me. I be living a wonderful life!

    I will review your recommendation and see if I feel I can learn from it.

    Thanks for caring and sharing it.

  7. maryl

    maryl New Member

    advice about choosing a church. I'd just like to point out that there are many christian
    counsellors/therapists out there, and you could probably find one in the yellow pages.
    You could get some good feedback and guidance and know that your spiritual needs are
    being addressed too. Perhaps when that person gets to know you a little, they could
    suggest a church you might be comfortable in. Just a thought. Besides, you know you can turn to the church anytime. It's not really "the church" you'd be turning to, but the Lord. And He's happy to see/hear from you any time. He loves you just the way you are. He is the best counsellor of all. And just a reminder, you don't need to go anywhere to seek Him. He is
    there all the time, just talk to him, and read His word, and He will hear you, and comfort you.
    The other people can then encourage you in this endeavor.
  8. sixtyslady

    sixtyslady Member

    I"ve went to many different church,s and just can"t find the right one.
    the last one we went to was my Father-in-laws.
    that was in 2002,we started to go and meet him after my hubbys Mother passed on.
    My FIL had been a decan there for over 40 yrs and we knew some of the older people.
    their was a new minister and 2 young couples that just where so nice at first,inviting us to go out to lunch with them after services ,my FIL was sick and in a nursing home by this time,
    they would hug is and tell us how much they thought of us and my Fil.
    then they started to hint for us to donate money to them for a downpayment on a new house,which by the way the minister and these couples all bought houses in the same subdivision.
    then after my FIl passed on we continued to go to the church and they would hardly speak.
    I felt so let down,because our son that was 18 at the time kept telling us that these people where phonies.
    so we tried another church after that and the people rush on us the minute we walked into the door, wanted to know our whole life story and get us involved in every committee they had I felt like I could"t breath.
    I watch Joel Osteen, and kenneth copeland and contribute to their minsters,no pressure to be there for wed,nite service and not have a life outside the people at church.
    I guess what I"m trying to say is religion for me is about having a relationship with God,not about it being a social event. sixtyslady
  9. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    Dwelling on the past has been so much a part of me that I can't imagine what I would think about if I stopped! But I know it's mostly depression and self-doubt that causes me to do it. I am really working on not doing it so much, I can't change the past as everyone knows. And someone recently said today will have a direct result on our tomorrow (or something like that) so I am working to make today better so tomorrow will be better also.

  10. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    That is a wonder suggestion - a Christian counselor/therapist. I am in search of a new therapist so I will look into that.

    I know that going to a 'church' doesn't make me religious or a believer. I believe in God and know that he has the power of what is going on in my life. I just keep thinking maybe if I went to a church, He would see me and understand how painful this life has become for me.

    Thank you for your words.

  11. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    That is exactly why I haven't been to a church for years. Because of all the fakes and phonies that go. I am sure they are good Christians but to have people in my face, asking questions I'm not ready to answer, pushing for my time or money.... I don't like that in any situation.

    To be honest, since I posted this question, I have asked myself if I am really interested in attending a church or am I looking at it as a means to show others that I'm not anti-religion... does that make sense? People around me that go to church wonder why I don't go. Maybe by going, they would look at me differently - like I was one of them, as good as they are.

    Others have made great suggestions and comments. I am considering all and hope to find some way to find the peace I hope is out there.

  12. lrning2cope

    lrning2cope New Member

    Is that many are being "pruned out " by the Lord for their fake-ness , phonie-ness and the fact that they are so judgemental and inward instead of outward focused. I am so glad that I found a Christian church where the only rule is "keep your clothes on !"

    The real church of Acts is coming back . Read the book of Acts to find out what that means. It is a good place to start in the Bible. I also find Job good when I am depressed , because I find out who really is in charge of the Universe !

    I am so sorry that people have to go to churches where people are so fake. It is not the way that Jesus was , or is . The Lord is greatly saddened by the state of many churches, especially in the United States.

    Praying that you are lead to a good church is also a good thing to do. I sincerely hope that you find what you are looking for.

    In His Grace ,
  13. sixtyslady

    sixtyslady Member

    DOn"t give up hope.even if you don"t find a church right away,just find a minster that you like on t.v. or radio and study your bible,this was diffcult for me ,I was raised a catholic and never got into the bible that much.
    But in the last few years I"ve got help from the T.V. ministeries and I can"t tell you how much this has helped me.alot of people think that they just ask for money and thats fine. I give what I can to help spread the word of God.
    believe it or not I feel closer to God when I"m out with my horses or chickens just to sit and look at the tree,s the hay fields it puts things very simple.a higher power made this just for us,and you know that it was out of love.
    i have found IT,s not hard to believe,remember when you where a child and you just believed in things ,its that simple trust.
    Because when I look back at my life,Jesus brought me through all the bad times,and there where many.
    But just as important he was with me in all the good times.
    He<s always there.
  14. mlucas

    mlucas New Member

    I found the best church by asking a friend who I thought was very spiritual. Another response was to pray and ask God or Jesus and that is the best advice. If you are searching and asking you will end up at the right church.

    Also, there are Christian Healing Centers around the world. If there is one near you definitely go and ask about a good church.

    Some of the churches today offer the gifts of healing and you want to ask for a healing church.

    Good luck. I was healed in the church. It took a long time but I stuck with it.

  15. CSusie

    CSusie New Member

    You may find the church that is good for you right away, or you may have to check out several before finding one that makes you feel welcome and good to be in. Take your time, and enjoy the visits you make to each church. I wish I was the one at the door to greet you! You will just know when things feel right and that you have found the church for you.

    Don't ever feel selfish for turning to the church when you are in a crisis ~ I think you are a very special person to be strong enough to turn to the love and caring of church members, and most important of all Our Lord Jesus Christ!
  16. Rachelsvine

    Rachelsvine New Member

    Jesus was not a religious person, Ha, surprised? Start by looking in the yellow pages and then go to the church in person and if you feel like people are friendly - thats the one. Talk to the Pastor about questions u may have. NO- you are not selfish abot turning to church, but remember, what you are really looking for is the love and compassion of Christ who died for you and cares so deeply for you. Do not rely on any one person in the church except for maybe the Pastor for solving the problems you may be having and all he will do is lead you to the cross. One thing I can guarentee.... your are headed in the right direction and Jesus is your answer! I will pray for you!-Love in Christ, BT