How do I handle this?

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by nonnie1967, May 19, 2006.

  1. nonnie1967

    nonnie1967 New Member

    I'm new to this board. I posted this question on the Fibro board and it was suggested that I post it here. :) This looks like a wonderful board!

    So hi, everyone, and here goes:

    I am a Christian, pretty solid in my faith. I don't often get to church, though I am a member and keep up with things as much as I can (I have to work full time, and with two small children it's so hard to do it all with everything that goes with Fibromyalgia!).

    I talked with my sister on the phone yesterday. She exhorted me not to accept and receive "the lie" of fibromyalgia; that God's will for me is not to be sick but to be well and healthy, and to have an abundant life. She thinks everything I'm dealing with is nothing but a spiritual attack of Satan.

    I just don't believe that. I believe in a God who is strong even in our weakness, whose will is not always to heal but sometimes to work his power *through* infirmity. But I won't deny that her words hurt. I still feel guilty about what my illness costs my husband and kids - what I can't do for them - and the thought that somehow it's because of something I've done or haven't done is VERY painful.

    Have you dealt with this with anyone in your life? How? I would like to know. I love my sister. I don't want to damage our relationship in any way. I know she wants nothing but to help me. I truly don't know what to say to her to convey that I really appreciate her motives, but that she needs to accept where I am.

    And I know she won't accept my illness as anything but a lie. And she won't accept "where I am" as anything but a place inferior in faith...just "not there yet" or "not ready to accept yet." Do you know what I mean? That doesn't feel very good.
  2. Asatrump

    Asatrump New Member

    There are wonderful people on this board, and they can help guide you to appropriate biblical passages.

    If you had diabetes how would your sister handle it?
    The stress she is causing you will serve only to make you feel worse both emotionally and physically. I guess I would throw the ball back in her court and say: what if I had heart disease, or needed a kidney transplant?

    The more your sister "dumps" on you, the worse you will get. Be prepared either with some smart answers, or to tell her to make herself invisible until she can give compassion and true love. Ask her, "what would Jesus do?"
  3. nonnie1967

    nonnie1967 New Member

    The last thing she told me was that she would send me some stuff and leave the ball in my court. I told her that I was open to God convincing me otherwise if I am wrong... but in all honesty, I don't think I am wrong. And my husband thinks I gave her too much encouragement.

    I don't know. (sigh) It's so hard with family, isn't it?
  4. morningsonshine

    morningsonshine New Member

    I already responded to your other post, a big long ramble.

    My brain was going faster than my fingers.

    I too have always struggled with my self worth, I'm beginning to get it, alittle.

    We had a wonderful man come into our fellowship and preach about the love of christ for about 2 years.

    Somethings we need to hear over and over again.

    ((((hugs))))
  5. nonnie1967

    nonnie1967 New Member

    Thank you for the welcome, Morning Sonshine! The encouragement means a lot. It's so hard to feel our worth sometimes when the world is pushing its values at us all the time. It really helps to be reminded that God's value system is very different - and He is the one who made us and redeemed us!

    I am just going to refuse to believe that my "doing" has caused my illness or has prevented my healing. That just feeds into the issues I have already. I am going to put it in God's hands, which is where it belongs. I can trust Him to do what is ultimately best for me - with my life *and* with my health situation. :)
  6. dejovu

    dejovu New Member

    I think Sis is a bit confused. I have RA, Fibro,Sjogrens,Spinal stenosus, intrapped nerves and bulging disc's. ( thats all I can remember...fog). It's not a lie it is a fact of life. God didn't do this to me. It's not a made-up disease, or a test it's just a disease. Sis needs to do her homework. God gets me thru everyday and without him I could not deal with all of this. I believe God wants our spirits in conjuction with the Holy Spirit to be well, happy and abundant but are bodies are clay and suseptible to many things. Obviously sis isn't informed enough to give you advice. I'll pray that Jesus talk to your sister, and help her to understand. I'll also pray for you, that you get the everyday support you deserve. I sometimes wish I could trade places with people who think like that for just one day. May God show you many blessing in your life. De
  7. Lolalee

    Lolalee New Member

    I responded to you in the other post.

    Best of luck,

    Lolalee
  8. Mar19

    Mar19 New Member

    I'm a Christian also. I've had fibro most of my life, with severe symptoms for the past 10+ years. My sister, now deceased, was a Christian also; it sounds like she was a lot like your sister.

    Interesting twist though, when J was ill, it was all "God's will", when I was ill, I had weak faith. Go figure. Don't let your sister get you down.

    If anything, my illnesses and trials have brought me closer to God because they've taught me to rely on Him and Him alone. Beside, this temporal life isn't what really counts, eternity is.

    Sickness and death came to be as a result of the Fall (Genesis 3). I don't have the New Testament references at hand right now (terrible migraine at the moment), but if you want, I could look them up later on. The NT speaks more than once about how we will have various trials in this life and using our trials to glorify God.

    The best example I could think of right now to refute your sister's thinking? If we were never meant to suffer, why did the Father let His Beloved Son suffer so horrendously? Remember He was referred to as the Man of Sorrows by the Prophets?

    This whole movement of claiming health (or however it's phrased) is really manipulating God. God is not a puppet hovering somewhere in a corner waiting for us to tell him what to do. What a thought!!

    I think you have a good handle on your faith. Keep up the good fight. Pray for your sister, I'll pray for her as well -- and also for you.

    Love and blessings
    Mar
  9. sailormom

    sailormom New Member

    Dear Nonnie,

    I just read your message on the CFS and FM board. I did not realize there was a worship board! I have been reading the messages for about a month on the FM board, but have been too chicken to respond!

    I know just how you feel about the unkind remarks you hear from your sister. Many of my family members beleive just as she does. I attended a church for quite awhile that believed the same way. I have felt like a christian second class citizen.

    Your sister needs to know that her words are hurting you. I do believe she means well, but that does not take away the damage she is doing to you. Also guard your heart from bitterness coming in. I am struggling with this right now and it has taken a terrible toll on my life. I have pretty much shut everyone out of my life because I have been so hurt in the past by well meaning christians. I should have stood up to them in love instead of taking all of their unkind words.

    The Bible says that the Lord is close to the broken hearted. I believe that verse applies to people like us who suffer daily with illness. Just getting up and facing every day takes faith.

    You will be in my prayers,

    Sailormom