How do I hang in there???!!!!

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by pegasis, Aug 1, 2003.

  1. pegasis

    pegasis New Member

    I don't know if I am having a pity party for myself or not. Just wanted someone to pray for me. I don't know how much longer I can battle all the things wrong in my body. I have gastroparesis (paralasis of stomach), gastritus of the stomach lining, colitus of the intestins, fibromyalgia, cfs, ibs,plus I have had 3 spinal surgery's. I can barely bend or walk do to spinal pain and was just told by a spinal surgeon that he doesn't think anything else can be done for me. My entire life revolves around pain and I just can not take it anymore. No, I am not suicidal but depression is really getting bad. I am only 29 have lost my brother and son (freddy 26 brother and patrick 4 days son) and can not concieve agian without help. Seeing a fertility expert now and need prayer for this also. I thought it was bad wanting a baby before but now that my son died, it is almost unbearable. I feel like I am giving myself a pitty party so really need prayer for me ok? Love and hugs and God's greatest blessings to all, Melody
  2. fibrorebel

    fibrorebel New Member

    You are not having a pitty party, you are grieving for many losses, you are tired from trying to be brave, weary from "what next", and simply just need a soft place to land.
    He is that place. I have just prayed for you and I know you are feeling His love as I type. Losing children is something that folks can't really understand unless they too have lost. I lost my twin girls 2 1/2 mos. before they were to be born so I do understand that ache that never goes far. God also understands...share your grief with Him,
    share your anger, fear, frustration ...I promise He will share His Peace with you. It is His greatest joy. I pray that He will cover you with His protection, His Healing (He doesn't know the words "there is nothing more that can be done"), most of all I pray that you feel His presence with you now and always! Bless you Melody. love and peace, Rebel
  3. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    We do not understand now why all these terrible things happen to us here on this earth, but someday we will sit at the feet of Jesus and He will let us know the why of it all, and then and only then will we understand and rejoice in His love for us.

    I am not big on sheading tears, but your story had truly touched the very heart of this tough gal, and the tears are just washing my face right now for you.

    I will be praying for you, for healing for the pain in your body, and the hurt in your tender heart for your brother and your child. That pain exceeds the pain in the body.

    God's most loving mercy be upon you, body, soul and heart. You are here for a reason, someday you will know what it is, and I am assured that is for the good of many even though you are the one suffering so bady.

    God's blessings going out to you, and I will keep you in my prayers untill the Lord Himself lifts the burden.

    Shalom Alechem,

    Shirl
  4. Hikagranma

    Hikagranma New Member

    Please Lord - watch over this dear girl. Ease her discomfort from the physical problems, and grant her piece of mind. 'that peace that passes all understanding If it be your will, LOrd - give her a babe - to hold in her now empty arms. Lord I come to you IN FAITH - - BELIEVING THY WILL BE DONE. AMEN & AMEN
  5. queenbee69

    queenbee69 New Member

    me these days. I too was touched by your post. I hope that you can find the strength that you so need. Being in pain all the time does tend to make us alittle weaker emotionally so every aspect of our day to day life seems so hard. I had a major crying episode yesterday after finding out I have to have neck surgery. My spinal cord is severly compromised and need to wear a collar and take anti spasm drugs. It really sucks. I am scared to death, probably due to the fact that 29 years ago I was paralyzed in a car accident due to a neck fracture. i did start walking after 2 months,but I have been limited since then. The thought of going down that road again is not even an option for me. I can honestly understand the minute to minute pain that you are going through.I am not suicidal either but at times I surely have given up the will to fight. But somehow I do, as I know you also do. I was very sorry to hear of the loss of your child. My daughter also lost a child in jan of this year. She is pregnant again and due in Dec. That has been one of the main reasons too keep going. I am so sorry to have rambled on so. Please know that your not alone and that everyone will be praying for you to keep going. Your so much younger than me and should not be going through such crap. Keep your head up girl and keep us posted on things. Take care. Queenbee
  6. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I am so sorry for all you pain and loses. Prayers are going up for you. Are you seeing a pain specialist? They can often help when no one else can.

    Love, Mikie
  7. fibrojewel

    fibrojewel New Member

    First I am so sorry for the losses you have experienced.
    I too lost an infant, I did not have the pleasure of holding mine. I was 5 months pregnant and lost the baby due to bad deformities. I did get to see her little face. Her name was Emily Ann. I hurt for her still, and that was over 12 years ago.

    I too was an infertility couple for ten years. Lost my first preg, then had a girl, lost my second child...little Emily, and then had to have help conceiving my third. I went to an endocrinologist in order to have my 11 year old. I saw her conceived on a "big over head screen" while doing AUI (artificial Uterine insemiantion with husbands sperm). It was truly a gift straight from God. My third, a son was a gift. I was 38 and in nursing school. We were studying the reproductive system (no kidding)!! Guess I passed that module!

    The point is, I have walked in the shoes of losing a child, and struggled with the frustration of infertility! I have screamed in my closet with each period that came, and cried with the birth of each of my friends children. Not from happiness, but from grief!!

    I will pray for you right now, that God will ease your pain and help calm your soul. I will pray that God will answer your prayer for a healthy child and walk with you through your struggles. God knows your needs better than I, so I will just pray that he meet your needs.

    All I can offer is love and prayers and understanding!
    I am here if you need to talk sweet Melody.

    Prayers going up for you....
    *jewel*
  8. bakron

    bakron New Member

    when you feel so down that you are unable to see clearly.

    Father, please hold Melody close to you. Soothe her pain both physically and emotionally. She is hurting so. Just give her that peace that is only know through your love. We praise you Lord that you know what we need even before we speak, and that your grace is sufficient . . because we are not sufficient in ourselves. In Christ's name I pray these things for Melody. Amen.
  9. fibrojewel

    fibrojewel New Member

    :) still praying for you sweetheart!
    *jewel*
  10. mamafrey

    mamafrey New Member

    Dearest Melody, I am so sorry to hear of all the pain you are going through, especially the loss of your child. I can't imagine. That has to be the hardest loss in life. I will pray really hard for you. Please don't ever think this is a pitty party honey, you need all the love and support you can get. I am glad you asked. God Bless you! Love, mamafrey
  11. Mar19

    Mar19 New Member

    I have prayed for you. May God bless you and comfort you. I cannot even begin to understand the grief of losing a child. Please, Melody, bring your grief, pain, depression, anything and everything to the Lord. In the book of Romans it states that the Holy Spirit knows the needs, thoughts of our hearts, even when our pain is so overwhelming that all we can utter is a groan. He translates those groans into prayers before the mercy seat.

    How do you hang in there? One step at a time, one prayer at a time, with the Lord Jesus at your side. I have a plaque hanging over my computer. It reads: "With God behind us, and His arms beneath us, we can face whatever lies before us."

    May God richly bless you, and comfort and strengthen you abundantly above all you could even ask or think.

    Love and prayers
    Mar
  12. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    I`m sorry you`re going through so much pain and loss. Your in my thoughts and prayers.

    Hugs,
    Sandyz

  13. pegasis

    pegasis New Member

    It took me a while to come back in to the message board. I didn't expect to see any reply's to my post much less so many. You all made me cry knowing that there are so many people out there that are so loving and caring that they would put so much out for someone else. I thank you all so much for your prayers an support. It has come at a time when I so very badly need it. I am waiting for my spianl doc to come back agian. I think that I am going to have to stop ignoring it and let htem mri my hips. They know that something is really wrong with them but, I didn't want to know what it was. My luck, it either can't be fixed or will require more surgery. I just wasn't ready to deal with that yet. But, I think it may be also causeing problems with my back so.... Guess I am just going to have to suck it up and let them run there tests.
    As for Patrick, to all of you who also lost a little on, my prayers for you also. It is something that is so hard to get through and if God hadn't carried me through it, there would have been no way to survive it. It was the same way wth Freddy. I had some trouble when I turned 26 then older because it made me older than my eldest brother. But, then God gave me peace about it and I am doing better I think. I know that God can carry me through all of this but sometimes, I get so upset that I shut Him out and can't feel him. I am just gratefull that when I get my head on straight enough to turn to Him, that He is always there with open arms. I jsut wish I had more control over myself so that I didn't push God away. I am sure that things would be easier if I let Him carry me through instead of trying to go it on my own. But, I haven't learned how to do that yet. I have been a Christian my entire life but I still feel like a baby when it comes to my faith. Thank you all for the prayers and I will be keeping you in mine also.
    Oh yeah, and I will definitely pray that God gets you through your neck surgery!!! They had to put a steele plate in my neck. They put an experimental peice of metal in for fusion instead of bone and worked great. Hopefully the rest of people with neck problems will have it passed through the fda soon so that they can do it also. The neck surgery did nock out migrains from 7 a week to about 2-5 so there is an improvement. Hang in there and so will I !!!! Biggest hugs, Lots of love, and God's greatest blessings to all!! Melody (pegasis0
    ps What does shalom mean? I like the way it sounds.