How Do I Repay Really Good Neighbors

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by shar6710, Sep 18, 2006.

  1. shar6710

    shar6710 New Member

    I had an "incident" last week which I'm sure is still the talk of the neighborhood: I have not been doing very well lately and last Tuesday I felt REALLY bad, very weak, horrible headache, possible fever...

    I got up off the sofa to feed the dogs and fix a little dinner. I also called my husband who was out of town on business (he travels a lot)to see if he could possibly come home early because I didn't know if I could get through another day on my own.

    While on the phone with him I began to feel funny, not light headed but like I was going to blackout so I laid on the floor in the kitchen just to be safe. I had trouble holding my cell to my ear and also I had trouble speaking but I managed to tell my husband to call the neighbor.

    She came right over and evidently my condition scared her so she called our other nieghbor who is an EMT and he left a function he was at in a nearby town and rushed over too.
    After talking to me a little he suggested I go to the ER which of course I thought was a waste because they never find anything-but my symptoms this time we pretty serious and I don't think related to the CFS. By now the neighbors'daughter and boyfriend had shown up as well. So the two guys loaded me into the car and the two gals took me in. I tried to her to leave once they took me back but she wouldn't until my husband arrived.

    I now know that my whole body was twitching, my eyes were completely dilated and bouncing around and of course I was barely lucid. The weird thing was that I felt no pain at all and really no emotion. I wasn't even scared.

    The whole thing was a little embarassing because I was in my pjs, hadn't showered or brushed my teeth, my legs were hairy and I wore my slippers and my robe to the ER.

    They determined I wasn't going to die that night and in fact 2-3 hrs after the attack I felt better than I had all day. I have some minor neurological deficits on my left side and I'm scheduled for an MRI later this week.

    But if you've made it this far, how do I repay everyone who helped me that night? Any suggestions?

  2. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member


    I would do 'a really good thank-you', as I would call it.

    Sometimes we all need to feel appreciated.

    I hope you are feeling well today.

  3. caffey

    caffey New Member

    I went through a similiar circumstance 1l/2 yrs. ago except that I was half dead when my girlfriend found me and took me to hospital. I find the only thing I can do is to say thank you and let her know how I appreciated it. Every once in a while I will do something nice for her to show my appreciation. If you have a friendship with her you could do that. Something as simple as having her over for dessert and coffee. Re. your clothes in er. Don't be embarrassed they have seen it all. When I used to work pt. in er that is one of the ways we could tell how sick people were.
  4. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    I helped a Russian family a couple of years ago with something important to them. The mother was so greatful, she brought me a wonderful Russian dish to my house a couple of days later!

    It was a different way (maybe not in her culture) to show her deep appreciation. Maybe a specialty dish of yours, or just a simple "thank you" as mentioned before.

    Just an idea, maybe not the "bestest"! LOL!
    [This Message was Edited on 09/18/2006]
  5. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    Oh My ,how scary for all of you. I am glad you are ok.

    I have seizures ,that sounds like what you may have had. I'm sure your Doctors will find out what is wrong. You were very smart to lay down in the kitchen.Thank God for your neighbors.
    I would not worry about how you were dressed at the ER at least they know you were not planning a trip there. :)

    Do you eat properlly when your husband is out of town ? I know I just kind of pick at stuff .Your blood sugar may have been off.

    Get somemore rest do not push yourself. As far as thanking your neighbors . Pick up a pot of some lovely mums everyone loves flowers and they return each year.They are priced very well this year .If you are close to Lowes they have all sizes and colors.
  6. shar6710

    shar6710 New Member

    I appreciate the advice. My biggest problem is that I'm not able to do much at all. I'm hoping when I'm a little better maybe I can do something for them.
  7. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    hear you were better at the end of the day. Good luck w/ the MRI. I'm supposed to have one soon. I said it has to be an open machine. Haven't heard anything more for the

    last three weeks, so maybe the dr. decided not to. Or just forgot.

    As far as a thank you is concerned, I think it depends on what you can do physically and what you can afford.

    If the answer is "not much", just write a nice note. Maybe look up a quote about gratitude or good neighbors to include. Maybe attach a single flower if you can't afford a bouquet.
  8. shar6710

    shar6710 New Member

    I had eaten that day several times. I was very hungry before I laid down. They tried to feed me some of the dinner I had fixed but I had difficulty swallowing so they gave me some yogurt. I was also extrememly thirsty.

    I saw my pcp Thurs (previousely scheduled) and his first question was had I had an EEG. Had one last year but it was negative. I have also had MRI's in the past with slight abnormalities. Hopefully this one will show something diagnostic.

    When you have your seizures do you have strange sensations in your brain? I tilted my head to one side and it felt like everything in my skull ran from one side to the other.
  9. cjcookie

    cjcookie New Member

    enough. You would have done the same thing for them if you were able. Of course, if you feel well enough at some point when your hubby is home, he could BBQ for all of them. The cookies are a good idea but if you are like me - days when you feel like baking are few and far between. Right now they have those big caramel apples in our stores. Maybe if you bought each one of them one of those and attached a thank you? Again, not sure if your financial situation allows that.

    I'm glad you have such good neighbors. I have that kind of neighborhood too. We all watch out for one another. That's why every time I think I need to sell my house, I just can't bare to do it. (is that the right kind of bare - I'm having heavy fog right now).
  10. lilaclover30

    lilaclover30 New Member

    I ALWAYS write a thank you note to everyone who does something for me - whether it be family or someone i don't knoqw too well. Buy a dozen or so thank you cards, all with various expressions of thanks.

    I buy cards at the religious book store or at a good card shop. It depends upon the deed what kind I send.

    And, i always write in the blank part of the card, no matter what kind of card IP send. It means a lot to the recipient. it does to me. Send a card and write a note to each and every person who helpede you that day. It means a lot.

    Gentle Hyugs,

  11. pam_d

    pam_d New Member

    Years ago my husband and I saw (and heard) a jeep careen off the street into a parking lot across from the art center my husband worked at----it was a Sunday morning in the business district, so very few cars and people around. The jeep crashed into another car and finally came to rest against a parking meter.

    Inside was a young man obviously having a seizure---we turned his car off, took off his watch and glasses, and generally helped him not hurt himself, while another observer called the paramedics. He went to the hospital; we later heard he'd had an epileptic seizure, was traveling by himself, but had a wife and family in a nearby state. But that's all we ever knew about him!

    I remember worrying about him, and wondering if he was OK, if he had gotten his seizures under control so that he'd be safe from then on. I thought about him a lot, and wished I knew if he was getting better.

    So---be sure to not only thank your neighbors (which I'm sure you have) DON'T be embarassed (I'm sure how you were dressed or unshowered was the LAST thing on their minds) and keep them posted on what you find out (even if you only want to give out minimal information) just so they know that you are OK----I'm sure they care & will be wondering about you & your health!


    [This Message was Edited on 09/18/2006]
  12. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    For one thing, you need to make sure you're showered, dressed, have your legs shaved, make up on, hair and nails done before you have another emergency...................

    Not! But I'm just like you and would be thinking the same thing.

    I'd handwrite a note to each of the people who helped you, telling them how much you appreciate their kindness. People need to give as well as to receive and they were no doubt pleased to be able to help.

    Hope you're doing OK now.

  13. zenouchy

    zenouchy Member

    I'm so glad you are feeling better! It sounds like you have wonderful neighbors. What a blessing.

    I agree with others here. A handwritten note and a plant from Lowes. Why Lowes? (NO, I don't work for them! I don't work at all due to FMS.) Lowes has very reasonably priced plants and several varieties to choose from. My neighbors have shown me kindness several times, and they happen to like plants, so many a time I have dropped by Lowes and have picked up a plant from there that was so inexpensive, it literally looked like it was double or triple the price.

    Lowes buys in bulk, and they have wonderful suppliers, which is how they are able to offer their great prices and to offer such beautiful things. (Guilty of being a plant addict here!) Over last year's holiday season, I bought my neighbors a HUGE poinsetta at Lowes for only $4. It looked like it should have been priced at $10. Sorry for going on and on. My neighbors always say they don't want me to get them anything and that they are happy to help me, but I can see their faces light up when I get them a pretty plant.

    Just wait until you feel better and surprise them!

    Wishing you happy/healthy days ahead, Erika
  14. kirschbaum26

    kirschbaum26 New Member


    Thanking really good neighbors can be tough. If you know much about them perhaps you could make them a special dish, or cookies or dessert. If this is too much for you, perhaps you could send them a gift certificate for a favorite restaurant (does not have to be expensive), or a movie gift certificate...or something that you know they might enjoy doing.

    My mom lived in a condo for many years. Two years ago, she was getting into her car to pick up my daughter at day care, and ended up having a heart attack/stroke. She hit her head, and even had a brain bleed from that. A neighbor couple were walking to their cars at the moment it happened and they saw her fall. They ran to her, the husband did CPR, and the wife called 911. She recovered and is still with us and doing well.

    After we thanked them every which way I knew how to....I still felt as if I had not conveyed my gratitude enough. I knew that they couple were doing renovations in their condo. I found out where they were buying the materials (nationwide chain) and I bought them the largest gift certificate I could afford. It was not to say that my mom's life was worth $500, but it was to show them that we really appreciated their concern and sense of community. My mom was not able to move back into that condo, as it had a lot of stairs she had to navigate. They did not want to take it at first, said it was too much, etc. I convinced them (I can be persuasive) and they said that they would think of her, and smile each time they walked on their new wooden floors.

    Hope that helps some.

  15. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    I hope you're feeling better now... please let us know how the results came out.

    I just had a conversation with my Dad about helpful neighbors a few days ago.

    He does things for all the neighbors, picks up their papers and puts them on the front porch, cleans things up etc....takes their trash bins back up to the house and so on.

    Anyway, recently one of the neighbors sent him a gift card to the St. Louis Bread Company Restaurant for $20.00 and although he was embarrassed to receive this, he did end up taking his older sister out to lunch for her birthday.

    Now, my Mom died a year ago so he's never done this before (taking his sister out) but she really enjoyed it.

    Think about it, this gift card made a few people happy. The people who were on the receiving end of his kindness were happy because they got to do something nice for the man who does nice things.

    Then, my dad was happy (although a bit embarrassed) to receive thanks for what he does....

    Then my Aunt got a special treat from her baby brother on her birthday and the memories to go along with it.

    I think this may be the easiest yet best way to say thanks.

    There's even a place on the internet where you can shop from home using your zip code.

    And a handwritten note is always a bonus too.


    Nancy B
  16. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    I would write them each lovely thank you cards and give them a plate of homemade cookies with it. Or just call each one and express your thanks, and let them know you will be there for them also if they need you.

    Our neighbors are much the same and we do things for each other all the time. The last time my next door neighbor had a bad cold, I put together a "cold" care package containing Zicam, Emergen C Drink, Vicks Rub, and Fruit Herbal Teas. I a positive the Zicam helped.

    I just put it on her front porch as I did not want to get her cold. I also told her everytime I went to the grocery store and asked if she needed me to get anything for her.

    Just keep your eyes open for opportunities, to help them. It always comes along.
  17. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    Most of us loves to give and yet do not take things easily.

    I have learned that letting someone else do a kindness and even of the magnitude your neighbors a gift back to them.

    All they need is recognization and a note or a card with a few lines written in it, thanking them, is enough.

    Be a cheerful and thankful reciever is a gift for sure.
    You would do the same if you could of....

    Love, Susan
  18. tiasnana

    tiasnana New Member

    I can relate to arriving at the ER in your PJ's. Last year I thought I had a little sinus problem starting on Wednesday and by Friday I was zipping down the street in an ambulance because I had pneumonia and couldn't breath on my own. Of course I was in my PJ's, legs unshaven, teeth not brushed and my hair looked like matted dog fur.
    I'm the type of person that sends thank you cards to everyone. I sent one to the paramedics, the ER nurse that was so kind to me, and also to the hospital staff on the floor where I had to stay for five days. When my 5 year old grandson had surgery the year before, I sent a thank you card to the church for their prayers, and also one to the staff at the hospital for the great care they gave him.
    I'm sure your neighbors didn't help you expecting to get something in return, they did it out of care and concern, but I think it would mean a lot to just receive a nice thank you and acknowledge what great and caring people they are.
    Sorry if this doens't make sense, I had a bad day and am really foggy. I'd go to bed, but can't sleep.
  19. libra55

    libra55 New Member

    That must have been very scary. First don't worry about the ER. My last two trips there I was so sick I had a virtual forest of hair on my legs....not only that but my toenails must have been five inches long. when we are sick we let that stuff go, and the medical personnel knows it.

    A handwritten note to each that helped you would be lovely if you can do it. I love to get notes like that. In this day of e-mail it is a lost art and very much appreciated. the younger people sometimes don't understand this.

    I love my neighbors too ....they cooked dinners for my family and drove my kids around when I was in hospital and recuperating after. we aren't a rich neighborhood by any means but we are the best.

    [This Message was Edited on 09/19/2006]
  20. fifthofanickel

    fifthofanickel New Member

    make them a loaf of bread. Really ez in the bread machine, & everyone I have given one too, appreciated the fresh smell & taste. I just put it in a 2gal. zip lok bag, tie a ribbon around it, & w/a card slid in the ribbon. Goes over well....

    Don't worry about how you looked. I was an ER nurse at one time, & didn't think a bit about how people looked..I was just interested in helping them. And I'm sure the folks in the ER you went to felt the same...

    All best wishes in finding out what is the problem..That must have been a horrible feeling. I have vertigo & can understand some of what you felt. Take care, & you have some great friends & neighbors there....

    Hugs & Blessings;

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