How do the single fibro people out there manage?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Chelz, Aug 18, 2006.

  1. Chelz

    Chelz New Member

    I'm 41, single and have fibro, TMJ, bulging disks in back, migrains, the list can go on. It is not impossible, but extremely difficult for me to work full time. I currently work part time in medical records at a local hospital nearby

    Because I only work part time, my pay varies from week to week. I live with my parents who can be pretty understanding at times, but I still miss a little of my independence.

    I simply can't afford to live on my own. Although, I'm pretty responsible with the money I make and hardly ever ask my parents or anyone for money, it still makes me feel so dependent.

    My sister is always telling me how much I help the parents, no matter how I feel, I do a lot for them because obviously I love them, but I also feel guilt.

    As far as relationships go, my mother would sometimes tease me that a man would have a hard time living with me just because of my limitations. I just laugh that one off, but feel sad sometimes that I never was able to find a husband, although I date occasionally.

    I'm just too darn fatigued, tired, whipped out and in pain especailly after running all around the hospital, lifting medical charts and all.

    Sorry for all the rambling, I tend to do that. Back to my original question, how do you single ones out there do it? PS, I will not move out with a roommate, either I get married or I stay at home, LOL. Hugs, Chelz.
  2. SweetT

    SweetT New Member

    You'll probably meet the right one for you. You'd have to have an understanding that after work, you're too tired to go out, etc. Plan that for a non-working day, or after you've had a couple of days off. Once you get close enough, your painful days can be movie days for you and your husband.

    Are you asking how single people manage to live on their own and pay bills? Or how they find someone to get involved with?

    As far as the bills, it takes willpower and determination, and full-time work. As far as meeting someone, everyone has something that's not so good. The right person for you will understand and accept and deal with, your limitations.
  3. kirschbaum26

    kirschbaum26 New Member

    Dear Chelz:

    I am a single mother of a 7 year old daughter. I have had FMS for many years, although not dx until 4 years ago. I also have severe RA, as well as a laundry list of other health issues. I am very fortunate in that I have a good support system in place. My daughter and I live with my sister. She has been great in sharing her life with us. She wanted to be part of her niece's life, as she does not have any children of her own. My mom also lives nearby. She did live with us for past 2 years as she had her own set of health issues.

    I completely understand how you feel about living with your parents...you are fortunate to have them. You are also very fortunate in that you are able to help them out, despite your limitations. I think that this is called a symbiotic relationship. That means that two people (or organisms) live together and both benefit. That is a great situation.

    I also understand how you are concerned about having a partner in life. It is tough to met people with our limitations, and very tough to maintain a relationship. It takes special people to put up with us, but that is okay, as the ones that stick around are the real deal anyway.

    I hope that you know that there is someone out there for you...you just have to be open to it. Good luck, and I hope that your living situation continues to be a good one.

    Ingrid
  4. Chelz

    Chelz New Member

    Thanks to all that have replied. When I posted this question I meant to say how does everyone who is single pay the bills, I think SweetT asked the question.


    As far as a husband goes, of course it would be great to find love and companionship and someone to also help with the bills, but if I don't that should be okay too.

    As far as disability goes, that would be extremely tough for me. The reason is because I rarely see the doctor anymore. I am not on any medications, just a ton of supplements and the occasional massage. I know that must be hard to believe since I complain about fatigue and all, but medications have only messed me up really bad in the past. I know to be considered for disabilty you have to have a much bigger medical past than I have had. I was diagnosed with fibro, TMJ, bulging disks and migrains, but that doesn't mean I will get the disabilty just on the diagnosis. Doctors have really not helped me in the past.

    I really don't think I would apply at all for disability they would probably want to know why I'm not on medications. I could give them all a 1 week lecture on that one because I am way too medication sensitive and just can't tolerate any of them.

    Anyway, I am glad I have my parents and we get along really well most of the time, I help them and they help me. Thank you for helping me see that I am pretty lucky. Hugs to you all. Chelz.
  5. Amy143

    Amy143 New Member

    Hi, answer to your question. Have Had Fibro for 11 years now... all through my 20's. It ruined my career.. (but everything is meant to be :) Ruined my credit... I had perfect credit,.... I have no kids.. no relationship, and I work p/t, if I can.... I have lowered all my bills, and found a cheap (hard to find, but possible) cabin in the woods.. fully sustainable.... and I live cheaply.. now.. no more shopping trips and out at night... I started juicing raw 2 months ago after all the detox and spending too much on groceries..and it totally helps the bills and my health at the same time.. and I do not need supplements.. I get all my nutrients from food....

    So yes, It is lonely, difficult, but I have lived on my own for 8 years with this damn condition, tough, very tough, but prayer always helps me and my angels keep on providing :) I wish you well.... Amy