How do you change your sleep habits?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Jan 4, 2011.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    Ever since we lost our house I can' sleep in the bed. It is a new bed and not one made for some one with fibro. I had to buy what we could afford not what would make me sleep better such a the sleep number bed or the intelli-gel bed that costs a few thousand to buy.
    I find m self dozing off in the afternoon adn the evening so when it is time to go to bed I am not sleepy at all. Even after I have taken my soma , msir, mscontin, xanax and visteril. I dont' want much but to be able to sleep in the same bed with my hubby of 30 yrs.
    He still struggles iwth my "FIBRO" not knowing if it is real, or when I am so fatiqued that I doze off he thinks I have taken too much pain meds nothing about the fibro. HE and family don't understand fibro at all they all feel that if I would lose weight eat right get my sleeping habits in order I would not need any pain pills and that I am just afraid of being with out pain meds. No one understands what fibro feels like except those who have it, I dont' know of a way to explain what it feels like to be so fatiqued adn know that when I am suddenly awakened I slur my words like I had over dosed on my meds. Sleeping iis the same way I sleep too much during the day and not at night but I don't know how to change itl I try to go to bed when hubby does but I keep him awake when I am constantly moving around trying to find a spot that does not cause me more pain. I wake him up every time I have to go to the bathroom , and I just want to sleep now. I have treid to take melition but it really makes me sleepy during the day time and I can't sleep at night. How do i change how I go to sleep at night? I want to be a better wife one who is willing to help him do any thing and not complainn to him about my pain and I am tried to be a good wife and sleep in the same bed. But I don't kow how to change mu sleeping habits, I want to be normal and sleep with my husband in our bed. How can I change that and learn how to fall alseeep in bed with him. even now at 3 am + I am and i am not sleepey. Please help me to relearn how to sleeo with my husband.
    Thanks for your hhhelp ,Rosemarie
  2. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    You have been going through a lot of stress. So sorry. I have heard the "if only"s from others and it can be quite frustrating.

    I am not a doctor but you are on some pretty strong meds. It's not my place to tell you to get off of them as there may be a good reason he/she has for prescribing them.

    I would definitely talk to your doctor about your medication regime.

    I'm a little unclear if you just started having these symptoms or longer than two weeks. If longer you might want to ask your doctor about a sleep study. But the medications could be a big player.

    It can be difficult to balance taking medications and getting relief without dealing with all the side effects. Can you see a pain specialist who knows the ins and outs of these medication.

    Just putting my three cents in.

    Good luck and keep us posted.


    ETA I have had some sleep issues resolved in the last six months and it has made a difference. Certainly not close to cured as I will always have the FM and other sleep issues, but it has given me a better quality of life. Lack of sleep or not getting the right kind of sleep can increase pain.[This Message was Edited on 01/05/2011]
  3. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I watch what meds I take closely, I don't mix them up and take more than I am supposed to take. In fact most months I have some of every one of the 5 different meds left over. Other months I take them all.
    I have 3 daughters and a husband who don't understand or believe that I have fibro and how I deal with it. I feel that one of my girls thinks that she knows some one else who has fibro and they don't act like I do, But from the research I have done no two of us are alike. We each have different problems be in pain, not sleeping, achings. bone pain,othere illness's that affect how we act and react to our fibro. I have talked to my doctors along the years as ai have had to change my pain doctors for different resasons. Most of them have worked with me with my meds. I started out in 2004 shattereing my left wrist and severaly breaking my radius. I was on 500 mgs of Mscontin and 30 mgs 4 x's a day of the misr. I take the soma up to four times a day my doctor felt that if Iwere to take two at bed time along with staggering my xanax, visteril and the rest of the meds. some nights I am alseep and don't take the 2 am dose of soma and msir. Other times I wake up and have to take it to sleep again. back to the amount of meds I am on now. I stopped takeing most of my Smcontin and now take just 2 every 12 hours as recomended, I take three of the 30 mgs MSIR daily and four of the soma , 2 xanax { have been on them for the past 21 years since my hyesterectomy when I was 34 I had a huge panic attack then and have been on xanax ever since . I have tryied to get off it but have had bad reactions to every med that would replace it or get me off it.
    I talk to my doctor once a month when I call in to go pick up the scripts. He knows that i want to be one the least amont of meds possiable. The problem is my daughters think they know more than the doctor does. They don't know any thing about fibro and when I have tried to get them to read things about it such as the letter to normals they think it is stupid and wn't read it but tell me that I am playing it up and I am I am faking it. I have been told that I should think about going innto rehab for drug abuse, stop my meds all together, lose weight, eat better,quit whining about it, all I want is for them to shut up and learn about what fibro does to people, as I said no two of us have the same symptoms or reactions to different stimuli. I don't know how to get them to believe in me have failth in me and to know that I don't take any more meds than I need to to beable to exist. I know now that the Utah weather has turned really cold I don't get out much. MY body does not do well with cold weather and it makes me ache throb, and even makes my bones hurt. I really want to be every thing they want me to be to be the fun grandma who can watch the grandkids. Funny thing is when my older daughter watched her neice adn nephew for two days and nights she had to call me to watch them to change Kari diaper's because she can't, Yes Kari should be potty trained but the little one has been thru so many changes in her life that she is all mixed up and does not know where daddy is at and why does he not come home any more, my daughter can't handle them but she gets upset with me when they have been left with me and I can't handle it.
    IF my 28 yr old duaughter who has a 3 month old baby boy can't handle them and she has no pain problems like I do with the fibro and end stage osteoarthritis. Why can't they understand that I am trying to do the best that I can. I want to be noramal but I don't know what that is. Will some one tell me? Thanks for listening to me
  4. kbak

    kbak Member

    Hi Rosemarie,
    After a great struggle my hubby and I went to seperate bedrooms. It was the only way for either of us to get any sleep. I have to agree with others that less meds are better. Not an easy situation when you've been taking so many for so long.

    I try to take my pain med and muscle relaxer only at nite. It doesn't mean that sometimes I don't need a pain pill durning the day but I try not to make a habit of it. I take vitamins in the daytime and minerals at nite. I find B vitamins help me stay awake better durning the daytime.

    I blackout my bedroom windows so there's no light to bother me and have a fan for backround noise. It's suggested to use ear plugs, which I tried, and they do work great, but I have allergies and they would plug things up and give me a headache. But, they did help me sleep better. All these things are such a struggle. I never thought I'd ever have a seperate bedroom, but getting sleep is more inportatnt than anything. Now my husband wouldn't have it any other way because he sleeps so much better without me.

    I hope you work things out. Take care.

  5. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    Jammin, FM does not cause decreased muscle tone. Your muscle tone may be effected from lack of exercise but the FM does not directly cause it.

    When I saw a physical therapist she said that is how she can distinguish FM from other conditions such as MS. Your muscle tone does not decrease that dramatically.

    If she can get by with Tylenol then she probably has a very mild case of FM so no wonder she has a positive attitude.

    The reality is that FM is part of our lives. We deal the best we can. That is not the same as letting FM "dictate" our lives. It helps to be as positive as you can but it won't necessarily effect our pain level.

    As far as it being a "gift". Absolutely not. I have learned certain insights about life but to call it a gift is disingenuous.

    I am not trying to downplay what she is going through but it is easy to say these things when you are not in horrific pain which sucks the energy out of you.

    Sometimes our behavior is a reflection of how we feel.

    Please do not take this as a personal attack. These comments are directed at the woman who is telling the story.

    Attitudes like that just rub me the wrong way. If only life were that simple.

  6. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    Jam is spot on about letting what others believe about your illness not effect your life so much. But it's not easy to do this when it is your family and you are feeling miserable.

    Once I started doing this my life became much more peaceful and over the years my family has at least have come around a bit to realize that what I have is physical. But it could have just as easily gone the other way.

    It took my daughters at least three years to even start understanding this and they still don't understand it completely.

    I know how hard it is when you can't care for your grandkids. It literally breaks your heart.

    You know what you need. You are following what your doctor is recommending. I finally came to the realization that what people think of me is not my business. Easier said than done though. :>).

    Two things I found very helpful are short term therapy by an RN/therapist who works with people who have chronic illnesses. It helped me deal with this illness as well as really good tips that have helped others. The second is a book called, 'The Resilience Factor".

    Does this mean I am not sick? No.

    Does this mean that other's attitude never bother me? No.

    Does it mean every relationship I have is hunky dorey? No

    But it has given me some skills that help me deal with this DD. When I think of all the energy I wasted worrying what others think and we know how important it is to conserve our energy.

    We are only human and if we didn't feel the way we sometimes do, there would be no need for a support board like this.

    But it is a process and with that come the positive steps as well as the relaspes. It's all "baby steps".

    Take care and let us know how you are doing.

  7. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    I absolutely agree with what you are saying and that is why I pointed out that I was not attacking the messenger, LOL!!

    Envy can waste too much energy. I hope her condition does not get worse.

  8. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    YOu have all given me lots to think about . and there are some things I can start doing right now. I need to stop worring about what my daughters think or tell me aobut how I sleep , don't sleep, what I take ect. I see my doctor {Not often enough but then I don't have a pain doctor so I see a rehumy who does the best he can } I am going to learn how to live with this and to tell my girls thanks for your thoughts but I am working with my doctor and doing those things he wants me to do. it is really hard for me to stand up for my slef and not end up in tears when my daughter askes me "So Mom have you ever thought about going into rehab for your drugs" NO I hvae not.. I don't think i am taking too much of any one of my meds. I have months where I have some of every thing left over and other months where I don't. I do need to exercise more and to lose some weight as it will ease some of the pain in my knee's from the arthritis I have. The biggest thing that upsets me is when I get a phone call my daughters in the am I am not awake adn end up not remembering what they said or that I was slurring my words like I was drunk or{ stoned} their words not mine. I have heard that fibro can make it hard to remember and have some other issues. I just have to tell them adn myself that I am changing the things I can change and not stressing about those things I can't change. Now i have some thinking to do , to find out if the gym I go to has an instrucer that can show me some of the best exerciess to do for and stage osteoarthris and fibro. Then I need to do them at least two times a week to start with. I know all the things I should do and what causes me to flare I have learned myh daughters make me falre as I try to do all the things that make them think I am not takeing too many meds, or that I should walk more when it is cold instead of riding the cart at the grocery store, I have to stop letting them tell me waht to do and what they think about it becasue it is stressing me out and I do worse the more stressed out I become. Thank you all for everything you have suggested.
    HUGS Rosemarie