How do you cope with working?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by maleficent4310, Nov 11, 2002.

  1. maleficent4310

    maleficent4310 New Member

    This is just a curious question. Personally, I have not worked too much in the last five years. Over the summer I worked a simple min. wage job to get out of the house a litte bit, and now I have a new sales job at the mall. I have only been working 3 hour shifts a couple of days a week, but with Christmas coming, I am going to be needed 30-40 hours a week. I get tired after the 3 hour shifts, but we really need the money for my son to have a nice Christmas this year. Any helpful hints to get me through the holiday season would be welcome with open arms.
    Lisa
  2. maleficent4310

    maleficent4310 New Member

    This is just a curious question. Personally, I have not worked too much in the last five years. Over the summer I worked a simple min. wage job to get out of the house a litte bit, and now I have a new sales job at the mall. I have only been working 3 hour shifts a couple of days a week, but with Christmas coming, I am going to be needed 30-40 hours a week. I get tired after the 3 hour shifts, but we really need the money for my son to have a nice Christmas this year. Any helpful hints to get me through the holiday season would be welcome with open arms.
    Lisa
  3. Simoriah

    Simoriah New Member

    The only way I keep getting up and going to work every day is just my stubborn streak. By the time I get ready for work and finally make it in, I am ready for some sleep. I don't even curl my hair anymore, just the bangs. It is simply too hard for me to hold my arms over my head long enough to do my entire head. Everyday, I just tell myself, just one more day, one more hour, etc.

    I also keep in touch with my doctor, an exceptional GP who listens to my ailments and helps keep me going by working with me to relieve the symptoms.

    I know the time will come when it will be impossible for me to keep on working, but unti I reach that point, I just keep taking it one day at a time.

    Hang in there, it's only for 43 more days!! You can do it! However, and more importantly, if you cannot, you need to know when to say enough is enough. Only you can know for certain. Either way, your son will have a great Christmas, because he has a mother who obviously loves him very much.

    Sim
  4. Duffsangel

    Duffsangel New Member

    I just started back to work after a 10 month hiatus. At first, I thought it was going to kill me. I am getting adjusted to it now. I am temp to hire, so after the 2nd week I told my employer about the FM and how it affects me. (I know legally I didn't have to tell him) I told him I would understand if he wanted to replace me, because I may need to leave early sometimes, or come in later. He told me "I would rather have the right part-time person, than the wrong full-time person". He told me not to worry about it that they would work with me. Now I know how lucky I am to have this job. But his understanding and williness to work with me, makes me get up every morning and at least try to make it thru the day. Of course, I rely on drugs to make it thru most days. I love the people and my job, I think that makes it easier to go each day.
    Now don't get me wrong...there are days I wish I didn't work. But like most Americans, we are in debt and I wanted to help us get out of debt faster. SO I am working. My hubby has told me if at any time I can no longer function with working, then he will "put his foot down" for my sake.
    I really think the secret of working successfully with FM, is being honest and upfront with your boss (If he/she is the understandable kind). I found this has worked in a previous situation too. Good luck!
    Duff
  5. kadywill

    kadywill New Member

    and a dedicated, hard-working one at that. My self-esteem comes from working and I can't stand the thought of giving it up, but it is killing me!!!I called in sick today due to severe back pain and I can't get up by myself right now. My husband had to help me into the tub. I feel a little better after my HOT epsom salts soak, but I am stiffening up sitting in this ladder back chair. I wish I could afford a nice recliner and a computer that I could use while lying there; I can't.
    It will come to the point where I have to quit work, but financially, it will be devastating for us. My husband and I married late..I was 38 and he was 45. We just bought a home three years ago and we'll be paying for it FOREVER! He works at Lowes Distribution Center in Statesville, NC and it isn't the highest paying job. I make more, but nurses aren't paid nearly what we deserve. Everyone at work knows I am sick...have been since I was 17, and they try hard to slow me down, but it just isn't in me to do my job half-@ssed!!! I wish it was!
    I end up taking several LOAs with my short-term disability each year and I haven't a clue why they put up with me. They know I work while sick and in pain most of the time. My illness is such that I really don't have remissions. I have one good day followed by a week of bad ones. I am 47 and my body is just so tired and abused. I wish I were wealthy so that I could just pass out money to all of us who struggle with this!
    Love and best wishes,
    Kady
  6. maleficent4310

    maleficent4310 New Member

    Thank you all for your thoughts and ideas. I feel for all of you too. I have been lucky so far though. My back pain has been minimal so far. Most of my pain seems to hit me in my hands, wrists, and legs. I love my job! I too am the kind of person that fights to make it through. My main focus in my son. He is the reason I do almost everything I do. I could not ask for a greater kid ever. He is almost five, yet he knows mommy does not feel well alot. He gives me the time I need to rest, and then we have our time together. It depends on how I feel as to what we get to do, but he is happy just snuggling on the couch to watch a movie or read a story. I believe if it were not for him, I wouldn't even try to get out of bed in the morning. I hope all of you have a great motivator in your lives too. Thank you again for all your helpful hints.
    Lisa
  7. JaciBart

    JaciBart Member

    I was in sales in the advertising/marketing world and I truly loved what I did but I do not think I can ever do it again, way to much pressure and expectation. I guess it dawned on me a few yrs ago that sales is basically lying all day to convince people that they just must have YOUR product or they will not survive. I hated that part of it, it just felt so darn manipulated. I was even trained on selling against radio, tv, direct mail, yellow pages, billboards, etc.
    Like all those people are not just earning a living also.
    I really want to work just because we need the income so badly, I hate the pressure this puts on my hubby, he is wonderful about it and it has been great for my son, he is 8.
    I am thinking today that I am going to go tomorrow and apply for a job at a local florist shop. That just sounds so positive and uplifting and like my hubby says, should not be stressful.
    They do have an opening and we shall see. I think it would be fun to do deliveries too as everyone you see will smile.
    I hope I can get the oppty & I hope I can do it. Not much money but I know I cannot be a type A personality & be healthy anymore.
    My Mo in Law bought me a membership to Curves (weight loss workout program) and it is really incredible to me how much it helps.
    I have wondered too how all of you working people do it, I guess I will have a stab at it hopefully soon and hopefully something positive, not just looking after every possible buck to make someone wealthy. Life is too short, this DD has taught me that.
    Jaci
  8. EllenComstock

    EllenComstock New Member

    Hi, Lisa:

    I went back to work full-time in February this year. It was just too hard financially with me only working half-days. My husband and I are pretty frugal with our money, but it still wasn't enough. I was scared to go back full-time. I didn't know I had fibromyalgia at that time (was finally diagnosed in June), but I was diagnosed with endometriosis over two years ago.

    As far as how do I cope working, well, some days I give myself a lot of pep talks to make it to the end of the day. I also do a lot of praying. I take my breaks and try to pace myself throughout the day. I am fortunate in that I do not have a physically demanding job. Sometimes the fibro fog is a problem, though.

    I think your son will have a good Christmas whether or not you are able to work the extra hours.


    Ellen
  9. BethM

    BethM New Member

    I'm afraid that if I do, it'll be a downward spiral from there. I was home Monday for Veteran's Day (Thank you Veterans!!) and enjoyed the rest. Working for a school district is great, as I get summers off and holidays throughout the year.

    I, too, can't do anything but a full on approach to my job (school nurse, high school), but have learned to pace myself. Whatever doesn't get done today will generally be there for me tomorrow. Well, most of the time. Today is an achy, tired day, so I've decided to lay a little low. I am so grateful I can do that.

    I also have a wave keyboard and a foot rest to make my desk more ergonomically correct for me. I tend to bring things to work that help in my comfort level, too.

    I hope I never have to go on disability. I really do love what I do.

    Peace,
    Beth.
  10. karen55

    karen55 New Member

    unfortunately, but I so wish I didn't have to work every day! Some mornings it's almost impossible to get showered and dressed for work, but I end up managing to get it done and get to work. The one thing I have in my favor is that I've been with my company over 20 years, so when I'm having a really bad day I just leave early. I try not to take advantage of that because I keep thinking I should save that time for "when things are REALLY bad"....guess it's my own way of psychologically pushing myself. I know myself well enough, though, to know when I've pushed far enough. Hopefully you do too; focus on doing as much as you can, and don't try and do more than you feel you can handle, no matter what.
  11. teach6

    teach6 New Member

    Before taking the step of applying for disability retirement and SSDI I had a long discusssion with my doc about my health and what it would be like if I were to return to work fulltime this fall. He said I could probably do it, for about three weeks, and then I would just crash again.

    That's one more week than I was able to work the previous school year before taking off for six months and then trying to return half-time. I've tried and my body will not let me. I cannot think, can't understand what I read, can't remember what I am doing, can't even do simple math. I was walking down the halls with my eyes closed. As you can imagine, that makes for a great sixth grade teacher who needs to be on her toes constantly.

    I'm single, my alimony lasts for one more year (dumb move on my part, but didn't know I had this when I got divorced). The good news is my mom and I share a home so I don't have to do everything and pay for everything by myself. We pay for a cleaning service twice a month and our yard work is covered in our homeowners dues. We live in a courtyard home, with a small yard, so it's private, but not too expensive.

    I have great LTD coverage and it is there until I'm 65. When my retirement is approved I'll be eligible for a slight discount on my health insurance, most importantly, I'll HAVE health insurance.

    If you had told me five years ago that I would have to stop working so soon I would never have believed you. In fact two years ago I was having some good months and feeling the best I had in years. Then I started in a steady decline that was made worse by several major stressors in my life.

    I'll make it though. If it means renting out a room or two in my home, so be it. I have a friend who has done that. If it means moving to a small condo when my mom is gone, I'll do that. One way or another I will make it.

    I have great friends who are there for me socially, emotionally and spirtually. In addition I have the people on this board. One thing I've learned about myself in the past year is that I may be down, but I'm not out.

    Barbara
  12. maleficent4310

    maleficent4310 New Member

    You have all been great. I have gotten more help and support in the last week from all of you than from the people in my life in the last two years. I know they just can't comprehend that a 27 year old could really be in this much pain, and have so may physical ailments. I am just too young you know.

    My husband did shock me the other day when he offered to get a second job. I really don't want him to do that. He all ready works 50-60 hour weeks. We really need him at home. I am determined to work as much as I can for as long as I can. I love working. I love the people. I have done the stay at home thing before. It gets real old real fast. Its like the walls come in on you. I love to talk. I love meeting new people. I am just going to push until my Dr. says I can push any more. His big thing is telling me to keep away from stress. Is that possible? I feel like some days the stress just follows me around. Bills, keeping my house clean, making sure my son has everything he needs, and we won't even get started on my hubby. I love him with all my heart, but he can't even carry his work cloths up stairs to put them away. Its like I push myself the days I am home to clean up a little for a livable condition, then he comes home. By bed time, my house is trashed again. I work harder at home than I do at work. Work is a breeze. I smile and ask if they have tried this new purfume.

    Well thank you again for all your responses to my post and thank you for letting me blow off some steam. I needed that.
    Lisa

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